A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK so my life is perfect but there is one tiny bit problem. me and my boyfriend are so happy together. thats not the problem. the problem is that i feel like he whats to have sex but i don't really want to. honestly i dont think im ready for sex. he says its all okay but he is a boy and i know he wants to. i just feel so bad. should i just have sex with him???
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012): Honey, don't feel bad. Me and my exboyfriend never did get to have sex, and now we are not together today. So no, don't jump onto having sex right now if you're not ready wait awhile.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes me and him just spoke actually. we came across the fact that he really does want to but he said he is willing to wait a long time because he is a virgin just like me. he said he is actually waiting for me to say i do. hes really sweet im glad to have him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): Don't just have sex with him just to make him happy. Yes, I'm sure he does want it. Even if he was begging you for it still don't do it unless you are 100% ready to. Don't make the mistake of just giving it up to him because he asks. You will regret that
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 January 2012):
 "he says its all okay but he is a boy and i know he wants to"
So what if you think he probably does want sex? Yes, he probably does. But that doesn't mean he can't wait or you have to do it. It's called delayed gratification, AKA maturity. So what if he wants it, tough cookies. You're your own person and if you give in to having sex before you're ready, you will resent him.
Further he says it's fine not to. I'm not seeing the problem here. He isn't even asking for it because he knows you're not ready and is respecting your boundaries. There is no issue, don't have sex. You're making this an issue in your head when it sounds like there really isn't one. You don't want to have sex, he's OK waiting, so wait.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): Simple answer. Don't have sex unless you feel totally ready to do so. The fact that you are asking, tells me you are under pressure to say yes, when really you want to say no. You have plenty of years ahead of you for sex, but only one time, ONE time it is your first. That is a huge gift to give away, and nothing to take lightly. If he really loves you, he will back up your decision to not have sex. He will support your decision, not let friends pressure you, and he will agree with your internal wisdom. If he does not have your back on your most secret feelings on this, then he will fail you emotionally in the future. Please wait. You deserve to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): "should i just have sex with him???"
JUST have sex???
Read your question over and over and over again.
"honestly i dont think im ready for sex. he says its all okay but he is a boy and i know he wants to"
Follow your instincts, they're razor sharp. You're a girl who's not ready and he's a boy who'll say anything to get into your pants, as almost all teenage boys do.
One year from now do you want to be stuck with a screeching baby when he's long gone? Or have a sexually transmitted disease like herpes for life when he's long gone? That's what happens when you JUST have sex.
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