A
female
age
30-35,
*orverRed27
writes:This past summer I met a guy...we'll call him Brad. He was talking to my dad and I walked over to introduce myself. There were fireworks instantly. We bonded over music, as he is a musician and actor in plays and before I left he said "I hope to see you around here more often."The next day I was there with my sister waiting for her friend. I hurt my knee the day before so i had an ice pack on my knee. Brad came up to me and asked me if I was okay and I helped him pick a picture out to be framed for the play. He then asked me to lunch and we went and ate. We connected so well, I have never instantly connected so well with someone, nor did i see it coming. We were on the same page with everything. My phone was dead so when we were done he took my number. He texted me later that night and then 2 days later I took him to lunch to show him around town since we was visiting. It was the best time in a while and after I took him to the river where he just held me for a good 10 min straight. I had to take him to the airport after that cause he went back home to do another play for the week but the next day he told me he had a gf back home and didnt think we'd hit it off so well so he thought it wouldnt hurt to make a new friend. So he said we could be friends, though i knew that wouldnt last cause our chemistry was soo strong.He came over alot after that and would point out how everything was so perfect between us and things just weren't fair because of the circumstances. One night he told me that he wish he had met me 4 months ago. Eventually he cracked and we kissed and it was the best feeling in the world. He would come over 2-3times a week and spend time with my family and just have a good time and i showed him the sights and everything. He kept asking if i was going to miss him when he went back and i wouldnt answer cause i didnt want to put myself on the line, and he would always say "isnt it a shame we cant date?". At the end of the summer it was time for him to go and i got soo sad (he didnt know). It hit me like a ton of bricks that i fell for this guy. We didnt even have sex, nor did he try to. He is now back at home and still with his GF. He continued to text me 3 weeks after every once and a while. And recently i found out from one of his friends (girl) that he said that he didnt want to be with anyone else but his girlfriend but just wanted to have sex with other girls. It doesnt make sense cause we never even attempted that with each other. I am so confused if anything i felt was real or genuine, especially cause hes an actor (you never know with them). I know being back with his GF is the obvious thing to do since we dont live near eachother, but its now been 4 months since i last saw him and 3 since we talked, and i still think about him. I friend requested him on fbook at new years and he never responded. Does anyone think he genuinely liked me? Im lost.Please help. Im not looking for a "move on hes not worth it" comment. I am really looking for honest answers, and what people really think!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): Hi there,Sorry to hear of your predicament... it seems you really connected with Brad, had wonderful time with him, but sadly he is taken.The good thing is that he was upfront and told you on day 2 that he had a girlfriend. He could have completely lied by ommitting that fact, instead he chose to tell you. Having a girlfriend and still kissing and hugging someone else is not good though. Imagine yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. How would you feel?Since going back, he has chosen not to contact you much, didn't respond to your friend request on Facebook, etc. which leads us to believe he chooses his girlfriend - then so be it.The only way you can consider anything with him in future, is if he contacted you saying he now realises his girlfriend is not THE ONE, that the connection with you was unforgetable for him and he has ended things with her and would like to see you, and get to know you and see where it goes. Anything else, is a road to heartbreak. Yes he is human, and having a girlfriend he can't help but still notice other attractive girls, and even make new friends, but crossing the line to kissing, hugging and connecting emotionally is cheating, so he can't have it both ways. Either he ends it with his girlfriend and pursues you, or he continues with his girlfriend and respects you by leaving you alone, so you can meet and have someone who is available in every way to be YOURS. You may feel you're not doing anything wrong because you're not lying to anyone, but HE is lying to her if he chooses to keep contact with you, and allow your feelings to grow and develop. If he hasn't left his girlfriend, then keep the memories as something sweet, that there are special guys out there, and be patient and I'm sure one day you will meet him - the one meant for you. Do not continue to hunker after Brad, thinking of what if's? He is not available, and needs to do the right thing. You deserve someone who will be there for you, in every sense of the word.Best Wishes,xxxx E
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 January 2012):
 Maybe he did, maybe he's just really good at manipulating women (it's very easy to fall hard and fast in those cases). Only he will ever know.
But there are two things going on here. One is that this is a guy who thinks it's OK to have sex with other women. He did cheat on his girlfriend, emotionally and he cuddled and kissed you. The way you get them is the way you lose them as the saying goes. This guy would be nothing but heartbreak if you were with him.
The second is that he was definitely manipulating you a lot. If he wanted to be with you, he'd break up with his girlfriend. There is no "can't be with you" only won't be with you. He was full of hot air. If he cared that much about being with you he'd break up with his girlfriend and be with you.
Because he refused your facebook request and stopped contacting you, it either means he was playing you all along or was falling for you but chose his girlfriend. Either way you have to let him go. Find someone more trustworthy anyways.
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