A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so im 18 and ive been a friends with benifit with this guy but it has grown into where neither of us are with anybody else but he wont say that we are in a relationship... so now we are having trouble seeing each other because his family doesnt like me and he now wants to have a kid so they cant keep us apart and he says he wants a baby with me.... can anybody give me some advice idk what i should do i love him Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 January 2012):
 I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Get yourself on the pill ASAP or get on IUD or a shot of depo. Seriously. You don't want to risk your future on this.
Frankly I don't see what you're getting out this other than stress. You don't trust him, he tried to convince you to throw away your life so he could have sex, you'd probably be better off without him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012): thank u guys for being honest with me i rlly need it and yall had a lot of good questions so i decided that im not gna do it... but I got to see him yesterday and we started tlkn i showd him this and it really opened his eyes he told his parents he was gna b with me whether they liked it or not and actually askd me out on a date which we really havent done before not to mention he has me all over his fb page now and says he wants to b with me and he didnt wna risk tellin me how he felt bc he didnt know howd i react but im kinda scared bc he stil says he wants a baby but i dnt rite now we both work full time and can do it but i wanna make sure we will work first can i trust him to not try something stupid? i just dont know how guys think when it comes to stuff like that
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): This question highlights the reason why so many guys act like immature jerks.
THIS GUY gets rewarded with no-strings sex. While there are tons of mature guys who would like a real girlfriend that spend every night alone.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Probably one of the worst reasons to have a baby is to get back at your parents. How childish and juvenile his reasoning is! It's also selfish and inconsiderate.
My advice is to stop the FWB, if you want more, ask for more and don't settle for less. It's a life lesson you should learn now, that being accepting this kind of treatment means you have low self-esteem and are setting yourself up for a long life of disappointments and unhappiness. If you want a proper boyfriend, then don't accept a FWB situation, it's a losing proposition for you in so many ways.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Tell him if he is ready to be a grown up he just needs to move out from mom and dad. Then you'll get to see each other as much as you want, and it'll be cheaper than a baby. Besides, without a baby around you'll have time for each other too.
Oh, and do you know how many guys take off as soon as their girl gets pregnant? Surprisingly they have a reputation for running with their tales between their legs...
Your FWB is both stupid and immature, pardon me. But if THIS is his great plan to get to spend time with you then I question his intelligence. I hope you're at least smarter than this and wont go along with such a ridiculous idea. Have a baby so you can see each other... It's a joke. If he wants to see you all he has to do is get off his ass and see you. It's a free world.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 January 2012):
 What all of them said before me.
You do understand that FWB is a nice way of saying SEX ONLY
and it takes money and maturity to have a child
it also should take a loving committed (and IMO MARRIED ADULT couple)
what a selfish lousy reason this CHILD you have sex with wants a child....
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 That's an insane reason to have a baby, particularly if you are only FWBs.
If he is an adult he can see whom he wants and does not need his family's approval. The solution is that he grows balls and tells his family to butt out of his sex life, not that he adds a cild to this unfortunate mix !
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Bad idea! Having this baby is based purely on a negative emotion and nothing at all logical to balance it out therefore a poor decision is likely to be made.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): Adding a male voice to the chorus while quoting my dear departed mother would say to you: Are you CRAZY???????????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): Simple advice. Say NO.A baby deserves better than FWB parents.That way way too "friendly" and not enough benefit.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 January 2012):
That's up there among worst reasons to have a baby EVER. This man can't even commit to being your boyfriend and he wants to commit to raising a child with you?! That's idiotic. Someone who can't handle even making a verbal commitment to a vague title wants to legally permanently bind himself to you and raising another human being for at least 18 years, but really it's longer???
Children cost at a minimum tens of thousands to raise from baby to adult. Do you have that kind of money just around? Are you able to make yourself completely selfless and wholly devote yourself to someone else? Are you able to give someone 24/7 attention? If no, then you aren't ready to have a baby. And a man who thinks a way to make his trysts easier is reason enough to have a baby is not someone who understands the incredible responsibility of parenthood.
Get yourself on the pill or get an IUD or something if you haven't already in case he does something crazy.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Having a baby so his parents won't keep him from you has got to be the stupidest reason for having a child.
You're 18 and not even in a stable relationship with this guy..why would you even think about having a baby?? He doesn't actually want to bring a child in this world because he loves you, wishes to settle down, and get married. Only for selfish reasons!! What a fine father he'll make, not.
You also need to consider how hard it is to raise a baby and if you're actually ready...
-Do you have a decent paying job? Babies aren't cheap, neither is daycare.
-Does your FWB, have a good job? Just incase he leaves you and you need to collect child support.
-Do you have a good relationship with your family so they'll help you with your baby?
-Where will you live?
-What about college or any dreams you want to pursue? They'll be hold when you have a baby.
-Can you face the reality of possibly being a single mother?
-What about stability with your FWB, is he going to marry you?
I wouldn't do it. A baby should be brought into this world by two people who truly want to and are ready to be parents.
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