A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type?If a woman told me I was not "her type", I would be a bit offended. But it's true. If it's a bad match, it's a bad match.Some people are just not compatible.Thanks for your time. (sorry it there are spelling mistakes) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): Oh in that case you should just say to the girl
"It would be really good if you would just realize you're not my type."
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 We have, several times, if you'd actually read the earlier responses.
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male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (15 January 2012):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question It would be really good if some of you just answered the question.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 January 2012):
My boyfriend is younger and WAY more energetic than me. It actually works out better that way (the energy, the age doesn't matter much). We complement each other well that way. I get him to relax more than he otherwise would, he gets me to go do things more than I otherwise would. Win win.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012): Too young and energetic is not good grounds to reject someone unless of course they're below the legal threshold. Bruce young and energetic is great fun when dating. It might not be grounds for a long lasting relationship but "might be" is never a good reason to reject anyone.
There are a lot of deal breakers in other people, pretty serious ones like serial cheater, drama king/queen. Being young and energetic is only a superficial thing, it's better to get to know the person deep down before you discount them.
As for rejecting people politely, as guy I prefer when people tell me straight, "I'm not attracted to you, you're not tall enough, you're too sarcastic etc." Most girls won't say things directly but the indirect statements are always easy to read anyway "I don't see you that way" means you're undatable in their eyes. "You're not my type" means they think you're ugly etc. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now with anyone" means "I'm not looking for a relationship with you." By far the best let down and the most gentle is "I'm kind of seeing someone at the moment." Even if you're not, saying you are is the best and least hurtful you thing you can say. Because it is really the only one that is definitely nothing to do with the person you're rejecting. That's the one I always use.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 January 2012):
 Hahaha, I do reject guys if I think they are too young. There was a guy about 6 months ago who wanted me out on a date with him, but he was just 21 (I set my limit at 25 minimum these days), so I told him at first "No thanks", and he asked why and I was blunt honest and said "You're too young for me". He got a bit offended. But who cares. He eventually did sneak his way to a date anyway, and unsuccessful one (I had told him I wasn't interested, so don't know what he was hoping for).
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012): My man is not "my type" at all, but I love him with all my heart and wouldn't want anyone else at all. Honestly I think the best way to reject someone is to be honest. " I am flattered, but I am just not interested in you in that way, I'm sorry." That's the way I would like to hear it at least, polite, respectful and honest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2012): I guess age can be a type. But you are mentioning an energetic person, maybe you are afraid you cannot keep up.
On the other hand, maybe you need to keep up. Maybe you picked this person as a wake up call to health.
Are you needing a push to get into top physical shape, is there a deep desire to be more fit. Have you been slothing it?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 January 2012):
 Your age range is 30-35... what is she 17???
My fiance is 13 years YOUNGER than I am...
I think discounting someone just on their age is not a good idea and I think it will be one of those reasons she could argue with...
as for energetic... so perhaps she would go out and go rock climbing without you?
or is it that she goes out and parties too much on the weekends and you prefer to do dinner and a movie.....
still need a bit more info!
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male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (14 January 2012):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat I mean is What if she is too young and energetic?
I would prefer someone maybe my own age. Someone might not be your type based on their age.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (13 January 2012):
I think it depends on how they approach you really. You go with the flow from there on. Some people who are just.. hopeless, I simply avoid. I don't take their calls or talk to them at all. Usually, the smart ones take the hint. I do grant people the benefit of doubt when I meet them though, so I have gone on dates with people off all types. However it typically says itself during the date, people with social antennas will know if it worked or didn't work. I get stand-offish if it wasn't so good, and I flirt like crazy if I really like the guy.
I guess you're asking how to reject someone who isn't at all your type from the on-set though, based on looks or appearance. Even I, who embrace a lot of varied types of looks, have my limits. In those cases I tell a simple, "No thank you". If they ask why then I think that's pestering, and I'd just say "You're not my type" or I've even lied and said I already have a boyfriend. In one case I even told the guy I am a lesbian, because he was so annoying.
Usually though, you show a lack of interest through body language. Be stand-offish if you aren't interested. Flirt and laugh if you are interested. Normally people pick up on that pretty fast.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 January 2012):
"I'm really flattered, but I only like you as a friend."
BUT, I think it could be beneficial not to reject someone just on their type. Lots of people wind up with someone who is not their type at all and you never know unless you give a try. Unless it's someone you KNOW you wouldn't be compatible with, there's no harm in just giving it a chance.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Perhaps the easiest and most-elegant way is to take them to a modest eating establishment.... and give them the classic "It's not YOU, it's ME...." line.....
Good luck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): I like the Garamond type, you may like Helvetica, but we all like Times Roman, or do we?
I am with a man now who I never thought I'd be with, he's not my type, from those I usually date. Who, knows, I may not be his type at all. But I can see spending the rest of my life with him now. I can't see leaving him.
He just caught my ear, something he said and I just had to know more. So I guess dating someone who is not your type might prove to be a good thing, if nothing, at least an experience as to what you may class as "not my type"
Actually I'm accepting that he's not my type as being a gift from god.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 January 2012):
What Tisha said... BUT i have to share this with you...
THE man I am with now.. that i am going to marry this year is NOT my type.
AND when we first sat down to discuss the potential of our relationship (started out as NSA/FWB) we both said to each other "you're not my type" and it hurt both of us...
we still hung out... as while our physical types are different, our brains liked each other... see what happened....
if it's a personality thing yeppers i understand
if it's just that she's not the type you normally go after, maybe give it a shot....
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Tisha is right on with her advice. Just try to think how you would like someone to let you down gently, how would you want them to say it? Then try to come up with something that would get the point across gently without being offensive. You can always say something like "I really value your friendship and enjoy spending time with you, therefore I think its best if we stay friends and do not date." I know its an old worn out line I guess, but its gentle but does get the point across. There's really no reason to go into details, most women will understand and accept if you say you want to be friends.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Tisha gives good advice here.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 January 2012):
 I think the answer to your question is right there in your post. How would YOU like to be told that you are not "her type"?
"Bruce, you are a nice man, alas, the chemistry just isn't there for us to date."
"How sweet of you to ask me out, I just don't think of you in that way, sorry!"
Think about how you'd like to hear that you are not someone's "type" and maybe that will help!
Good luck!
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