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Erection when hugging/kissing my girlfriend

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Question - (13 May 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, *J Gonzalez writes:

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 months now, and the last couple times we've taken the time to say goodbye on her front porch before I leave her house we've spend a lot of time hugging and kissing goodbye and even just talking while holding each other. But then I've gotten an erection that I just cannot control, no matter how hard I try to think of other things that don't turn me on, or even try to tuck it under my waistband of my pants. I tried that before we said our goodbyes last time, but it slipped and failed and I couldn't get it tucked back in before it was noticeably erected and I don't know for sure if she saw it or not. I wanna tell her that it's normal and I'm not a perv or anything (and she knows that). Any advice on how to deal with this problem?

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A male reader, DJ Gonzalez United States +, writes (28 May 2012):

DJ Gonzalez is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I believe she knows now. Something I've noticed is that while we're kissing and I start to feel the erection, she giggles very softly. I think this is the sign that she knows. It happened the other night when I was leaving her house from a party. Thanks for the advice everyone!

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (13 May 2012):

person12345 agony auntIt's totally normal to happen just when you're hugging her, and especially kissing her. I'm sure she knows it's normal and I'm sure she's flattered. Don't worry about it at all.

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A male reader, DJ Gonzalez United States +, writes (13 May 2012):

DJ Gonzalez is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah, I meant that she knows I'm not a perv or anything. I'm figuring she knows that it's just in my nature to have that happen during our moments. Thanks!

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A male reader, Glacier Belgium +, writes (13 May 2012):

This isn't a problem. It's perfectly normal.

It's likely she gets aroused too. So do you really think it would be a problem for her? I don't think so. More like a compliment.

Next time it happens I would ask her if she gets aroused too.

If she says yes, then you could make it a bit exciting by asking her if she wants to learn you how to finger her. :-)

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (13 May 2012):

It’s perfectly natural, because you find her attractive. It’s not something you can control, but it doesn’t actually matter. She won’t judge you on the basis of male biology, but based on how you behave. If you’re dating then she’ll already know you find her attractive anyway, so even if she notices these erections they’ll be no surprise to her. Stop worrying about it and enjoy being with her rather than get anxious about this.

I wish you all the very best.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (13 May 2012):

N91 agony auntYeah, it's just human nature, can't really do anything about it.

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A male reader, tottenhamhotspur Canada +, writes (13 May 2012):

Don't sweat this.

I got an errection when I hugged my girlfriend when I was 18 all the freaking time.

I actually find that more subtle touching gives me errections much more easily then heavy stuff. I tend to be most aroused when I am just cuddling, etc.

It's not weird at all, and if she doesn't get how the male body works thats her issue, not your's.

Would you think it was weird if she was aroused at the same things?

I didn't think so either.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (13 May 2012):

Starlights agony auntIts completely normal to get an erection when you kiss your girlfriend your aroused.

I really dont think she thinks your a pervert; more like a natural functioning male :)

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A male reader, Hugh.J United Kingdom +, writes (13 May 2012):

Hugh.J agony auntWhat else do you expect, especially at your age? It's perfectly normal and of course you cannot control it - stupid to try. Just discuss this with her when you are not embracing and I'm sure she will be flattered and know what to expect - and maybe even help you to relieve the tension?

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