A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Today at lunch I was hanging out with my two friends, their girlfriends, and their girlfriend's friends. Well my friend Alex asked this girl something that I overheard, it was either "Would you go out with josh?" or "would you **** josh?" and she just laughed and said "ummmm the answer is a no Alex". I am a really quiet, lonely, depressed looking guy, but I don't think I'm bad looking, just alright. Why did she have that "hell no" kind of attitude? Is it because I'm ugly?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 May 2012):
 First impressions mean something. Even in your teen years. So yes, if you throw a angsty vibe off, they might not take the time to actually talk to you and to get to know you. Nothing wrong in being a quiet person, but that might not be how others see you, specially if you YOURSELF describe you with words such as lonely, depressed. Like tennisstar wrote lonely, depressed can easily be translated into insecure or low self esteem. Both are traits that most women (even young girls in their teens) aren't looking for.
So if you aren't really lonely, depressed try not to make THAT your personality.
Why this particular girl say no so vehemently, might be because your boy put her in a tight spot and she was reacting more to being asked THAT question, then reacting to YOU.
But like I said, don't fret not all girls are going to like you, and YOU are not going to like all girls.
A
female
reader, tsahpina  +, writes (12 May 2012):
only she know this. and even if she tells she may lier. so only she knows. dont bother.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your guy's help. All cockiness aside, girls love my personality and think i'm really cute (Idk what it is about my personality they like so much) and I'm not a really cocky guy I'm just saying. So whenever I'm myself, they seem to look past my looks whether they think i'm ugly or not.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 May 2012):
 No offense, but at 16-17 you don't exactly know women just yet. You may know what girls in high school want, but it's another story when you get into the real dating pool (after high school).
You say you're quiet and you have this lonely, depressed vibe, but in your update there's a bit of cockiness. I'm referring to, "I can get anyone I want regardless of looks".
Let me just say this, WOMEN are put off by cockiness (being number 1) and 2. low self esteem. A woman can pick up on that and it makes them slightly uncomfortable.
Now if you want to know why this girl is so put off by you, then you need to ask her. Aunts on DC can guess all we like and you can spend time stressing over it, but at the end of the day she's the only one who holds the actual answer.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 May 2012):
 like dmartin said, because you are a depressed looking guy with low self-esteem. When you have that kind of attitude, it is impossible to hide. Everyone can see it and it's very unattractive. It's much easier to just go "Oh I must be ugly." than it is to examine how you are coming off to others and try to change it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo do you guys think that the lonely depressed vibe can put a girl off? Like I'm seriously so quiet that nobody ever hears me talk except the three friends I hang out with everyday.
I understand women pretty good though and I know if I can make them laugh and be interesting to them, I can get anyone I want regardless of looks. Besides I know I'm not ugly, just average. Which is okay with me. I'm just wondering why she is SO put off by me.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (11 May 2012):
 You said it yourself, you are a lonely depressed looking guy with what appears to.be low self esteem.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 May 2012):
Maybe you are just not her type. Or maybe that lonely, depressed vibe you "throw off"?
I wouldn't sweat it, there are plenty of other girls out there. So this one was a no-go.. don't give up that easily.
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ +, writes (11 May 2012):
 You're not ugly and you shouldn't let it bother you that one girl said she wouldn't. There will be plenty of girls that say no, why? Because they're not the right type of girl for you.
There will also be plenty of girls that will say yes, because they are the right type of girl. Being school age, it's a lot harder to gain confidence from girls because you see them every day of the week and if you're the lonely looking guy, they will see you as such and tend not to talk to you because of it.
This is because there are masses of social groups within the school structure and the key is finding that group that you can either relate to or just fit into. Ignore the other groups and what they say because it is completely meaningless, chances are you won't see them too often when you have left school and they'll all become a distant memory. So don't get hung up over what one girl says, there will be plenty of girls that disagree with her.
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