A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone just a quick question all the guys I meet only want a fwb, what makes a man want a fwb with you but not actually a proper relationship? thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2012): It happens, but not all men are like that. And I'm convinced not majority as some posters here sound. There are majority of men out there who wouldn t do one night stands, and would never offer it to a girl just to make his penis happy.
Majority of men need to be physically attracted to a girl to have sex with her, not all of us are pigs.
The fact that you attract or attracted so consistently to guys who just want to do it is alarming.may be it's worth talking to a third party to figure out what's going on. Good luck
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (10 May 2012):
He has used you, he has hurt you badly. Do not let this continue. He tried dating you but decided he would just have sex with you instead of moving forward. He is not a nice person and it must hurt like hell
He is just ONE man. Not ALL men will use you. You must not let him or any other man treat you badly.Cos if you let them do that, then the lowlifes in this world,will
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2012): There's no problem getting a relationship if you shop for guys that are in your league. IMO most girls get stuck in a series of FWBs because they want guys more attractive than they can really reach. A very attractive guy will lower his standards a lot farther for casual sex than he will for a relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): That's not FWB's OP, that's just dating and at the end of the dating stage he only wanted you for sex and nothing more that's it. It happens and it sucks but I'm not sure he led you on.
Hardly anyone jumps into a relationship without dating first and when it comes time to take it to another level some guys and girls only really the other person as worthy of sex, for whatever their reason that's the bottom line.
He tested you out and only wants to keep the sex and nothing else. Oh and of course all the cuddling and affection but absolutely none of the commitment because he's not into you romantically at all.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (9 May 2012):
Sugarbuns says it perfectly.........
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 ah so he led you on...
that's sad.
I'd like to advise you to end it with him (easier said than done I know).... it's only going to cause you pain if you have feelings for him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): It is not a consistent thing I meant to say this is the first fwb I have been in n I didn't intend on getting into one he made me think we were together properly for the first few months
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2012):
oh and if ALL the guys you meet are like this, sit back and take a look at what you are contributing to this?
are you being physical with them too soon?
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 Sex without a committment. Sex without ever having to know that person, or feel anything for that person; without having to compromise or think of anyone but yourself. It's the perfect arrangement for many, many guys. Especially the immature selfish ones. Because they can have sex without getting tangled up in the drama of a relationship. Kind of like renting a prostitute except it's for FREE. This is the danger of FWB relationships. In some cases guys will simply leap from one FWB to another without forming any lasting relationship skills and when/if they ever do fall in love with someone they will have the maturity level of a 14 year old boy which will make it quite difficult for any woman to stay with.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 May 2012):
 I think that women - who, unfortunately, don't have penises - will NEVER be able to understand the attraction of "FWB" to men.....
It has to do with making "Mr Happy" happy...... and NOT having to do anything (at all!!!) to incur that happiness...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): "what makes a man want a fwb with you but not actually a proper relationship?"
Cerberus answered that question far better than I ever could, but I will add that what usually makes some guys want to pursue a proper relationship and not a FWB is the word "NO!"
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2012):
it's easy to have sex with someone and not have to lay out money or spend time or make an effort...
in other words you are good enough to fuck but not good enough for mom, or friends...
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 May 2012):
 It's a new fad term for a very ancient situation. Don't sucker for it.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 May 2012):
 Sexual gratification and an ego boost without having to do anything in return. What could be bad? He can have his cake and eat it too.
Not all guys are like that though, some/many guys like the emotional aspect of a relationship just as much as women do. If you like a guy, don't ever get into a FWB with him. It is a guarantee you will get your heart broken.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): He thinks that woman is worth having sex with and nothing more. Basically he's not interested in relationship for all the usual reasons but he's horny and "she'll do". It all comes down to the fact he thinks she's doable and maybe willing.
Make no mistake though it doesn't mean he's sexually attracted, it is never about not being ready for a relationship or any of the myriad of other excuses he gives. A guy who only wants FWB's only sees that girl as being good for sex. The only effort he wants to make with that woman is call over for sex.
Fairly straight forward really, forgive me for being blunt but relationships take effort to build and not all women are worth building one with to a specific guy but as long as they're not horrible looking and they're willing then a casual sex thing can be fun. The same applies for women who want them.
Now in your specific case something is going wrong. It can't be just bad luck if it's a consistent thing. But again there could be many reasons for this. Perhaps you sleep with them too early, like on the first date. Perhaps you a have reputation locally for promiscuity, maybe you're meeting these guys on dating sites, maybe it's the type of guy you go for, perhaps you're too overbearing and eager on dates, or maybe you have baggage that scares guys away from an emotional commitment with you.
Just think long and hard about how all these guys happened. Try and find similarities and patterns on what type of guy it was, where you met, how you behaved, what kind of things you told them, how you acted intimately, try and think of the time you maybe think they changed from wanting to get to know you to only wanting you for sex. It could be just rotten luck but it's better to examine yourself first OP. I think you're here trying to figure out why this keeps happening well just examine all past factors and see if there is pattern you can work on.
Other than that, never accept FWB's for a guy like, never settle.
Also don't give up on dating just be open to altering the way you approach it. You'll figure out a way that works.
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