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I fear my vagina isnt good enough for my boyfriend

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 May 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 20 May 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *aby-Morrow writes:

So, my boyfriend and I have sexual relations. He isnt my first, and well I feel ashamed to have sex with him for that reason...

We were watching this t.v show, with Wesley Snipes(black guy) and he was married to an Asian woman, they showed a scene where the couple was having sex. the woman was moaning very load and panting, showing that the sex was good. by boyfriend commented that I don't moan like that. since then he has made small snide comments about my vagina, well, as if i were loose. when I ask if he enjoys sex with me, he gets angry. so as unhealthy as it is, i only want to engage in oral or anal sex, because i fear my vagina isn't good enough.

I don't wish to fake my sexual experience with him, so I don't fake my moans. I do really enjoy sex with him, and he feels good to me but I think its just not the same to him. I also fear that he compares to his past sexual relationships... and it hurts my feelings.

What do I do, to improve sexual sensation for him?

how do I go about making him want me more?

View related questions: anal sex, vagina

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A female reader, Anastasia Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (20 May 2012):

Anastasia agony auntHi,

You know funny this is ...the girl in the movie...was faking it ...and she wasn't actually having sex...cause I don't know..IT'S A MOVIE!!

Even funnier thing is this...I actually thought making love to a woman was an expression of love..not some alpha male "let me see how loud I can make you scream" competition.

And the stupid thing...oral sex is one thing...but you go on ahead and continue having anal sex and you are going to hurt yourself really badly. Google how constant anal sex can affect your health...

And finally, a woman's vagina does not define her as a woman or a human. I am positive that you are intelligent, beautiful and a woman of substance. A man should love YOU as a whole person not your vagina. And you need to know your worth and not let any scum treat you like that. Those things are in the movies...not in real life...it's not all screams and moans and "yeah big daddy"...it's about love and caring and appreciating the whole person.

Dump this idiot, learn to love yourself and move on hunny

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A female reader, Bobbyjo United Kingdom +, writes (18 May 2012):

Bobbyjo agony auntdoesnt your 'boyfriend' realise nothing in life is like it is in the movies jeeeez if sex was like it is in the movies I would be doing it all the time.

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A female reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth India +, writes (18 May 2012):

Foot-In-My-Mouth agony auntTell him that you don't like having intercourse anymore because his penis is so small that you can't feel it enter you. Since you don't even know whether it's inside or outside, you don't feel anything and hence you don't moan. And then tell him you're leaving him for someone who has a human sized penis! And then, dump him!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 May 2012):

Honeypie agony auntWow, I would tell that jerk that you vag is fine, but his penis is just too small.... See how he likes them apples?!

WHY are you letting him treat you like this? I'd dump him in a heartbeat and find a guy who will appreciate 100% of you.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (18 May 2012):

person12345 agony auntI agree 100% with YouWish. Do not let this guy erode your self-esteem over his own porn-based insecurities. He's watched/masturbated to so much porn he can only enjoy anal or oral sex because of the increased stimulation. There is nothing wrong with your vagina. Losing your virginity does not stretch it out or change it in any way shape or form. Also telling you that you don't moan loud enough because that's how they do it on TV? Seriously? That is not reality, that is fiction, acting! You should dump this guy and find someone more grounded in reality than fantasy and his own hands.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (18 May 2012):

Starlights agony auntI think I agree with YouWish , your boyfriend is insecure and is taking it out on you by blaming your vagina!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (18 May 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThat boyfriend of your's sounds like a real, dandy creature....

As for your real question: "how do I go about making him want me more?" I would suggest: Don't bother. Dump him...

Good luck..

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A female reader, Read-the-signs United Kingdom +, writes (18 May 2012):

I am feeling angry on your behalf that your partner has managed to erode your sexual confidence to the extent that you do not want to have sex. How incredibly insensitive of him. You don't need to moan loudly to be enjoying yourself, what happens in the movies/tv is nowhere near what happens in real life.

Wherever he gets his ideas from they will have to change. You need a much more mature and loving man. Dump him.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (18 May 2012):

YouWish agony auntHmm, you could improve sexual sensation for him by buying him a fleshlight and telling him to go f*** himself. Seriously, he doesn't deserve you, and he's blaming you for his inability to reach orgasm through intercourse.

It's obvious that he not only watches too much porn and has gotten to used to his own hand, but that he actually thinks that the fake wildebeest caterwauling and moaning is actually real and not FAKE. In reality, a Wesley Snipes movie? Really?!? That's not real, and his criticism of your vagina should ever disqualify him from having the privilege of ever touching you again.

Seriously, how would he feel if you answered his snide remark about your vagina size with how inadequate the size of his penis and his lack of manhood qualities is? I bet he'd get the message to shut his piehole when it comes to saying one word about comparing you to anyone or anything ever again.

Seriously, instead of making him want you more, you should make yourself prefer pocket lint to this jerk. Dump him.

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