A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am not the most picture perfect teenage girl in the world and I feel really insecure because of it. My stomach is not flat and I don't have a gap between my thighs like most girls these days and I don't have a bald weird looking 'area'. Although, I do like some of my curves. So I guess I just want some insight from some guys to tell me what they think. Do I sound unattractive and would you date me? I know this is a weird question but I just want to know.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 May 2012):
 You have got to get your head out of the media's butt. Most women do not have a gap between their thighs. I'm a clothing size 2, and my thighs touch if my feet are together. I'm not sure what sort of sadist decided thigh gaps would be the gold standard of a good figure, but it's totally unattainable for most women. It has to do with your hip structure more than anything. When you see those celebs at the beach, even the VS ones, their ribs are poking out in a frightening way. They look totally emaciated without the photoshop. Photoshop is used in a very strange way, it makes women look skinnier, and then it's also used to get rid of the anorexic features like visible ribs and hip bones. Basically to create aliens.
As for stomach pudges, that's totally genetic and totally normal. Some women have flat stomachs no matter what they weigh, and some don't, again no matter what they weigh. Lots of men find a little pudge there sexy. My boyfriend does (and yes, I was super offended the first time he complimented me on it, but now I realize he's serious). There was once an article in some women's magazine where they asked men to describe their favorite feature on a woman, and one man said he loved a little stomach pudge on women and found it to be irresistible. Men tend to like soft curviness on women, and a little stomach pooch does fit that.
As for having a hairless v-area, unless there is a genetic disorder all adults have hair there. All women and men naturally have hair there. So what? The only place they appear to naturally be born hairless is porn. In the real world, we have hair. Many men prefer some hair down there. Just keep it trimmed.
You sound like a totally normal girl, stop worrying so much about looking like other women! We are our own worst critics. Women have fatty bits, it's normal and healthy and attractive.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (13 May 2012):
There is no one look that guys go for, just as there’s no single look that all girls go for. What’s more, most people feel insecure about some aspect of how they look, and it bothers them a lot more than it bothers anyone else. There is no reason why you won’t find some-one who’s right for you, no matter who you are or how you look. You should work on your own self-confidence rather than try to look for a date to make you feel confident, you want to date some-one because you both feel that you’re right for each other, not so that you can feel better about how you look. In addition, what makes people attracted to each other is a whole range of factors, appearance, personality, shared interests and so many more factors. Try really hard not to let your insecurities make you feel like no-one would want to date you. You are certainly not undateable, and what matters just as much, if not more, is the kind of person that you are. Your question has arisen because you lack confidence in yourself, and you don’t see all the good things about you that others see. There’s no magic fix for that, but even just being aware that your own perceptions of yourself don’t match reality or match how others see you, will help you to be less overwhelmed by those feelings and will allow you to reflect more rationally on yourself. Do you filter out all the good things people tell you about yourself and let your own self-doubts override them?Try really hard to think of what your good qualities are, and how you can show them to people. For example, do you show your friendliness, or are you quite withdrawn because of your lack of confidence? The more you can think about what your strengths are, and what good things other people see in you, the more confident you’ll be, and the more you’ll see the person that one day, some-one will be lucky to date. Without being patronising, you’re very young. Some people don’t start dating until they are years older than you are now, it doesn’t mean that they were not good looking or that people didn’t want to date them. What makes you “successful” or not, if there’s any such thing, isn’t how early you started dating. So concentrate on learning about who you are and working on that confidence to show others who you are, and figuring out what kind of a person you might want to date yourself. Don’t rush to get a date, or try to find some-one to make you feel less insecure. Wait for the right person.I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, xgod +, writes (13 May 2012):
 While I have noticed it far more common that heavier and heavier girls seem to be the norm and seem to have boyfriends more often than in the past, it doesn't hurt to wear form-fitting clothing that is loose around those areas you feel uncomfortable with. I do not know any man who likes a "muffintop" hanging over a tight pair of pants. It makes you look pregnant or just plain fat because it accentuates the natural flesh you have on your abdomen in a negative way.Find a bra that actually lifts and fits properly, If your current bra has flash bulging out around it, it is not the right size or shape. Millions of women wear bras that are either too small or wrongly proportioned for their cleavage.If your booty is big, do not wear a thong. wear some supporting panties which lift and accentuate your behind. Thongs allow sag of the rear cheeks and do not actually appeal to much of the general male populace.The gap between a woman's thighs has more to do with them wearing pants that are too tight than their thighs being slimmer. Only porn stars and a few men (and pedophiles) are turned on by a "bald" area. Most men like the shape of a WELL-TRIMMED, clean edged bush. What is important is to carefully trim or shave or "nair" the hairs around the front entrance to eliminate any friction that could cause discomfort or pain when having sex - or worse get caught in his teeth.While I generally like skinny, tiny waist, tight booty, smaller breasted women, I know that a ton of men like women to have ample flesh on their bones and some men (like my brothers) prefer women with lots of cushion.If you like a guy and catch a glimpse of him looking at you with hunger, he might be worth trying to approach. However, do not confuse the look of lust with the look of disgust. If he does not like how you look, that is HIS problem, not yours.
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