A
female
age
30-35,
*lossals
writes:I met this guy who just moved here and we started talking.after one month we hooked up and had sex.i asked him if we're just friends an he replied saying obviously we are more than that...but he doesn't want people to know so I tried my best to hide it from everyone..we would see each other 1-2 times a day each week because he just got hired for more than one job..what should I do?after 2 months he says "let's be friends"..what does that mean?do I still have the spot in his mind to be a good and close friend? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Do you want to date this guy or not?
If you do and he doesn't then simply tell him to stop flirting with you as it's not fair and sending you all kind of mixed signals.
If you're staying friends, then we he tries to flirt, play it down and continue normal converdsation.
A
female
reader, jlossals +, writes (27 December 2011):
jlossals is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have move on.. sometimes he would message me saying merry Christmas or whatever and starts flirting again..for example..I'm gonna win over you if we ever fight..and I'll be on top or you or whatever.. Like he knows he's a big flirt but doesn't mean it to a girl he cares about..
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 December 2011):
Seems too hard to work out, I think it'd be your best interest to move on.....you don't want to end up being used for sex.
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A
female
reader, jlossals +, writes (25 December 2011):
jlossals is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWeird thing is he told the school we're official then two weeks later it's over because he didn't feel the same?
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 December 2011):
How does he know that he won't be able to make you happy without giving it a try first?
Do you want to date this guy or not?
I always think it's fishy when a guy doesn't want to be in a relationship but is happy to have sex with a girl, no questions asked.
Either ask him straight up what the deal is or just move on.
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female
reader, jlossals +, writes (25 December 2011):
jlossals is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe told me how i'm awesome, heart warming, how i would do anything for him and how his mother will really miss me?.. right now i don't give a shit i just wanna forget about this but when i'm ready to be friends then i might?
he honestly admit that he lost his virg to me and that it'd be the best to know each other more..is that even possible?
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A
female
reader, jlossals +, writes (25 December 2011):
jlossals is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe said that he really wanted a committed relationship and that he might not be able to make me happy because he was hired for two jobs..and now he doesn't want a relationship because he's moving on after graduation..what's the point?also he lost his virginity to me!?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 December 2011):
You're being used for sex, cut contact and move along, don't play his games.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2011): I agree with what the others have said. You were never friends to begin with so how can you be now? He's using the whole "lets be friends" thing to keep you sweet and to make out that he's not a user and an idiot when in fact he is.
Tell him that you don't want to be "friends" with him and that you will NOT being sleeping with him from now on. Drop this idiot and leave him to go and use some other girl (which he probably is already).
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (25 December 2011):
 My guess would be he didn't want you telling anyone because he was sleeping with one or more other girls with the same arrangement. As long as you all keep it a secret, he stays out of trouble.
'Lets be friends' = no more sex. Although likely he'll change his mind and want sex from you occasionally, just with no commitment and in secret.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 December 2011):
 He did not want people to know because he wanted to keep his options open and look single to other girls maximing his chances of more conquests.
"let's be friends " in this context does not mean absolutely anything, because you weren't friends, you met only 3 months ago and you were sexual partners. It means " please be nice and stay off me without making a fuss or giving me a hard time ".
You have learned a valuable lesson -if a guy is interested in you, he will NOT keep you hidden.
Yesterday I was having a coffee at my local coffee bar, and chatting with the owner- whom I know - talking about our Xmas plans. This stranger customer pipes up " Yes in 5 minutes I've got to leave, I am going to the station to pick up my new girlfriend ... I am so excited, it's the first time my new girlfriend visits our town... I don't want to be late because my new girlfriend is a very precise person... of course she is , you know, as my new girlfriend is a hospital nurse..." . I and the coffee guy
swap looks, like " What's the matter with him, he is DRUNK at 9 am ? " .. But he wasn't drunk, of course - he was just someone in love:)
Moral : if a guy really likes you , he'll shout it from the rooftops. If he keeps you a secret- there's usually a big catch.
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (25 December 2011):
 You were never a good and close friend. You were a sexual outlet and he has lost interest in the sex.
Word of advice, in future you never ASK a guy if you're a couple or just friends. If you want a relationship, you TELL him you only engage in certain activities when you're actually in one. By doing that you're not trying to control him or the situation. You're just establishing your own boundaries. If he wants to be friends only, then he gets treated the way you treat any other PLATONIC friend.
This one isn't a friend so there is nothing to salvage here. The sooner you move on the better. The longer you stick around the more emotionally invested you will become and the more vulnerable you will be.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (25 December 2011):
 Yes, i am afraid he is just using you in a way to get sex for a few times a week. I mean, nothing is encouraging when after a few months of this he says friends only. If he had the hots for you, he would want more. Seems its only sex I'm afraid. But it is your decision, but it doesn't usually work by hanging around in hope for someone to want more.
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