A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMy bf used to abuse me verbally once in a while before and now he started doing it almost every day. He says its getting difficult to even hold a conversation without getting angry with me, nowadays. He often says i dont know anything and im good for nothing and i dont even act like a person with 6th sense.I even started doubting that may be i have psychological issues as he often says and may be im dumb, sometimes i do ask some dumb questions. I know i am really not bright, but i always thought i am atleast average with normal IQ, now i am not even sure. I even failed in my interview for a new job few days back, i do have a job but was trying for a new one for better salary.Please help me, i am feeling very depressed. Will my bf ever accept that i am not dumb and will talk to me nicely as anyother person.
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 December 2011):
 My first husband was an emotional abuser. I left him. Emotional abuse is WORSE in my opinion than physical abuse. we can't SEE the bruises. we can't see the abuse... we feel it but we learn to discount it as they (the abuser) continue to beat us down emotionally.
Leaving an emotional abuser is hard but it's a good idea to do this.
failing a job interview does not mean you are stupid. it means you failed a job interview.. maybe the interviewer did not like your shoes... it's rather subjective.
I am sure you have an IQ of at least 100 which is average.. it's probably higher than that..,. you seem to be able to conjugate a sentence well based on your post.
you need to formulate an exit plan from this man. DO NOT tell him you are planning to leave as he will make sure to beat down this idea and convince you that you are "too stupid" to take care of yourself.
do you have family you can go to?
you must end it with him and you must CUT ALL TIES from him... emotional abuse is insidious and he will continue to try to abuse you emotionally in order to keep you under his thumb. He has no sense of himself and needs to make you feel small about yourself so he can feel like a big man.
A
female
reader, feralfox +, writes (26 December 2011):
I'm sorry to hear that you are unhappy and doubting yourself!A boyfriend isn't supposed to make you doubt yourself and put you down. A boyfriend is supposed to support you and make you happy. If all he does is make you sad and feel stupid, then he isn't worth having around. You deserve someone awesome, who loves spending time with you and sees you for the amazing person you are. Life is to short to be with people who only make you feel bad about yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (26 December 2011):
 your boyfriend is verbally abusive, emotionally abusive. hear that word abusive.no one who loves you should ever feel the need to put your down. they should want to make you feel better than who you are, inspire you, encourage your dreams. this boy is not good for you , and yes i mean boy because real men do not need to put their partners down,you should not have to convince him or justify yourself.have you spoke with him yet about his actions? they are harmful in more ways than one. talk to him, tell him that he is making you feel inadequate and it is not something you want to stand for. if he can not see the error of his ways, than sweetheart you are so much better off believe me. abuse starts off small but grows big. it really is only a matter of time before it turns physical and 'accidentally shoves you'. make him aware. confront him stand firm. than if he dismisses you. Leave.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 December 2011):
 If you take no other advice please take this advice...Leave this loser before he hurts you! NOW
...............................
A
female
reader, Crazykatee  +, writes (25 December 2011):
I agree with other person!! Pack ya bags or pack his!! Nxt will cum the hittin n then it gets worse!!! Leave while u cn
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 December 2011):
 Listen, if I told you that I had a gf that told me how stupid I was every single day and made me feel like shit and told me that I may have psychological issues, what advice would you give to me?
Leave this man immediately, what's to say this abuse won't turn physical soon? He sounds an asshole to be quite frank, why would you want to stay with someone that belittles you everyday?
Tell him to hit the dusty trail and find someone who treats you right
...............................
|
