Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): This may only be the first time you've caught him but it wont be the first or last time he's done it. Dont accept it,reject it and boot the guy out of your world.
A
female
reader, ScaredForLove  +, writes (11 November 2011):
no its not messing. People don't just go "Hey I should make a secret account and pretend to want sex! Hehehehe." He obviously would've cheated and done it had you not found it.
...............................
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (10 November 2011):
 Ask yourself: is it logical for people to set up accounts for SECRET relationships and sex just for kicks and giggles? No, there is nothing fun or funny about it, especially if he had accounts from the beginning. You know you're not stupid enough to believe that. If you want to waste more time though and find the 100% proof, make a profile yourself, pose as someone else and contact him. See for yourself what he would do.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 No, this isn't messing around, he was clearly intending to cheat.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): I know it is hard to find out your partner has been lying and trying to set up meetings for sex that is awful. But I have a family member that tried to forgive and forget when her fiancée was caught chatting someone up and said it was a laugh and for his self confidence. She married the man and had children, he had an affair, she tried to forgive and he had another. He wasted the best years of her life so think carefully about this guy because I would myself be prepared to give up after 1,5 or 20 years if I found my partner was a cheat. Its best to think of the good times you have had but if he is not fully committed then you would be best to leave. It's better to do that than rather throw away your future happiness xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): I would take this great opportunity to find yourself a decent man. Dont waste any more years with this waster. You have seen how much he cares about you. Leave him to find someone online who is on the same wavelength as him. You need to keep reminding yourself that you are too good for it. I believe theres a much better class of fella for you. He does not respect you. If you dont dump him you deserve him.
...............................
A
male
reader, asap09marc +, writes (9 November 2011):
 Hi chick, internet date/sex sites are a lifestyle. You are either into it or you are not. When push comes to shove your partner and the dating sites come as a package.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): Its a shame its took you 5 years to catch him. Dating sites etc have been very successful at weeding out and showing the real person. This is your chance to find someone who you can live in peace with. The rest of your life with him will be a constant internet history. I hope you see sense.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): If you think that this problem can be swept away think again. He was on these sites when you first met. He`s probably been on and off them since. This is no joke. If it was,then why did`nt he tell you about this "laugh" he`s been having or invite you to have this "joke" together? People use these sites because they believe there`s far less chance of being caught. They will cheat without them,but they know that news travels fast,so they take the more sneaky approach. His "joke" is on you. If you are simple enough to believe what he told you,and you don`t mind it then stay put. If you can`t handle it then run and don`t waste any more time. You will get better than him. If he gives you any crap about something`s missing in your relationship,then he could have discussed it first. He didn`t.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 November 2011):
 "I was only joking!" Seems to be the number one fallback for cheaters caught on dating sites because honestly, is there anything else he could try to say that you would believe? The most innocent possible answer is that he was looking for an ego boost and didn't intend to meet with any of them. If he was on those sites 5 years ago, you can bet he will be in 5 years as well.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): He was on them 5 years ago. When someone is still into something after a few years then it says its there for life. Are you even sure he ever stopped it? I dont think you have a third choice. Live with it or get out.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): one time i went though my boyfriends phone and basically seen the same thing. :( i think in there head there not fully satisifed with the relationship that there in and not fully happy or comitted. so they do that but dont have any intention of cheating. people on here seem to give really harsh reviews. spec when they havent been though it themself. i say listen to what he has to say, you guys have been together 5 years is that really something you want to throw away because of these stupid dating sites. i know it hurts but if you love him and dont have any intention on leaving him your have to find a way to forgive and forget. its hard but can be done..
good luck
x
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 Only messing around? Well he shouldn't be. There's no excuse. From now on I think it is fair that if he wants to remain in this relationship he stops "messing around" with these NOT innocent games.
Or better yet, just dump the cheater, and save yourself the headache of having to supervise his internet life.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): I would say he will be on those sites in 5 years from now too. Once a date site cheat,always a date site cheat.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2011):
 The only thing he's messing around with is your trust and your relationship.
this would be a betrayal of trust to me. and it would not be acceptable.
I would not believe him.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2011):
I think this is a big Red flag. You don't sign up to sex sites or secret relationship sites without wanting it, especially if he's been on one before.
Perhaps you need to think about this man. He doesn't seem like a good bet to me.
...............................
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (9 November 2011):
I don't know why anyone would post that sort of thing unless that was actually what they wanted. What did he mean when he said he was only messing? Did he mean he was doing it for a joke or something? Because if that's what he means then he is lying, and trying to get out of what you have found and trying to cover his back.
To me this would be a big deal and I'm not sure I would stay with someone who I found looking for secret sex online. It's a very bad sign. You need think about whether you really want to be with a man like this.
Good luck. Think hard.
...............................
| 