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My wife wont have anal sex, should I go to a prostitute or will I regret it?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2011) 17 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, *ukefortender writes:

Hello friends, i know i have been several times here on DCupid issues about that issue, but still i want it to get this help from you! Please! Here it comes: i wish i could get intercourse in the anus in my wife but she doesn't want it anymore, we did it only two times. What should i do? This gets me crazy! Sometimes i fantasize getting a prostitute but i'll regret it badly!! Never!

View related questions: anal sex, prostitute

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011):

Feel lucky that she even wants to have sex with you at all! Don't ruin your relationship with the woman you love. Ps. I had it up the ass once and it hurts like hell!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011):

I don't think prostitutes accept anal. They are very particular about this.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntDude, Read Chigirl's answer and grow the hay up!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011):

I hope you have taken into consideration every reply on here- they all echo the same answer and just in case you havent paid attention to all of them I thought I would add: Stop demanding, be grateful she tried your fantasy and drop it!

Going to a prostitute is ridiculous when you have a loving wife who accommodated you twice. So how about ask her what her fantasy would be?? You have had yours twice so show some gratitude and listen to her needs

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A male reader, eek United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2011):

eek agony auntif your so hung up about this how about seeing it from your wife's point of view. allow your wife to get a strapon any size she likes and go to town on your ass then see how you feel about it.

If she is not comfortable with anal that is her choice be glad to be with a woman who loves you and be grateful for what you have.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011):

Anal sex is not a normal part of an average couple's sex life. You have obviously been brainwashed by porn.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (11 November 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntLuke: Are you f**king crazy????? You have a wife who is willing to accomodate all but your most egregious fantasy, and YOU think that you "need" to assuage that fantasy with a hooker.... and all that THAT entails?????? Wake up!!! Many of us guys would cheerfully give up one of our arms to have your arrangement (with your wife)......

Good luck.... and may your wife help you get past your stupid fantasy.....

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2011):

N91 agony auntChi girl is bang on the money.

She may not like it because it may HURT her! Think about it from her perspective and stop being so damn selfish.

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A female reader, LustyLisa United States +, writes (11 November 2011):

At least you got her to consent twice, many women including myself won't even consent once!!!. It's her anus therefore it's ultimaltely her choice and she's closed that door. Your only choices is to either accept it and love her for the fact she gave it a try in the 1st place and continue to be failthfull or, leave her for some piece of meat that will allow you to exploit and violate her anally. In my opinion, any man that puts so much value on rump roast isn't much of a man in the 1st place and wouldn't be the calliber of man I wanted to spend my life with or have sex with. You can go to a pro but do you really want to expose yourself to that? It can't be very fullfilling to have to pay someone to have sex with you and have them "act" like your the man.

Like most people in monagomous relationships, there are times that you have to accept and respect each other boundaries and limits. If you can't be faithfull and love your wife unconditionally then she deserves better and you should be man enough to let her go before you start going outside of your relationship to get your kinky kicks off. I also like chigirls responce, you're the one so turned on by anal sex why don't you buy a stap on and get that lovin feeling up your own behind. You shouldn't refuse either since you've sodimized your wife twice now, you should give it a couple of tries too. When it comes to butt holes, everyone has one ( unless your born with inperforate anus )and since you have such a strong interest it's you that needs to be on the receiving end, not your wife.

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A female reader, moon river  United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2011):

moon river  agony auntso basically what you should be asking yourself here is do i want to try one new thing in the bedroom or lose my wife who i have shared my life with.

its easy to get wound up about these things but you need to take a step back because you should never go to a prostitute

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A male reader, JustHelpinAgain Canada +, writes (11 November 2011):

Good grief, do you think your wife should do something she clearly doesnt like just for your physical pleasure? Please show more care for her. Stick to your fantasy, it is probably much better than reality ever would be.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011):

I'm just going to be straight up honest with you.

It is incredibly selfish of you to even consider such a thing! You obviously have no respect for her, or yourself for that matter. I mean, come on, prostitutes? Are you really willing to risk not only your marriage but also contracting STI(s) just to fulfill some fantasy?

Besides, it's not like your wife was unwilling to try it. You said she did. Her not wanting to do it anymore means she didn't enjoy it, and that's not her fault. She can't force herself to like it anymore than you can force yourself NOT to like it.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (11 November 2011):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntYou will definitely regret it. Stick to fantasy. Don't see what the fuss about anal sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011):

Have you ever been to a prostitute? I gaurantee your fantasy will be better than the reality.

Not to mention - how would you feel if your wife went to a male prostitute because you're just not big enough for her?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (11 November 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou answered your own question...fantasize away. If you have a good imagination, fantasies can be very pleasurable.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntSorry, but you need to grow up. She has had anal sex with you a couple of times, but it bloody hurts and that's why she doesn't want to do it again.

How about you let her get a vibrator and use it on your anus, then you will have some understanding how much pain this causes. Actually this is not a bad idea, many men find this stimulating as it touches some glands that are rarely used.

You are not a bloody child, your a grown man. I fantasize about being the queen of England, should I go and kill her and take her place because it's something I want and something I think I deserve. Only children make such demands.. I WANT, I WANT, I WANT.. you want to go to some strange woman who you might give you a disease and pay her to lie there and pretend she actually likes you...

Why aren't the things you do in bed enough for you? Why isn't your marriage enough for you? Is anal sex the most important thing in your life? Maybe you have too much time on your hands.

Stop watching porn, forget about anal sex or get a butt plug and try it on yourself. You might actually like it, and this might solve your problem.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (11 November 2011):

chigirl agony auntWhy are you so hung up about getting anal sex? WHY???? What's the point of it? Whats so great about it? Why on earth is such a small thing important to you?

Would YOU like a penis up YOUR ass? In fact, men have more erogenous zones in their anus than women do, it's more pleasurable for a man to have something inserted in his ass than it is for women. So if you absolutely must have anal sex then buy a dildo ask her to perform it on you. Same deal isn't it? Anal sex is anal sex, and I think you have a higher chance of getting it if it is up your butt than hers.

And if you refuse, would it be okay if your wife went to a prostitute, or other men, to perform anal sex on them and use a dildo on their asses? It's the exact same deal...! So think about it.

And if you really are obsessed about this then seek therapy or go to your doctor for pills against neurosis. Or better yet, divorce and leave your wife to find a man who can take a no for an answer and get on with his life.

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