A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi eveyone this is my problem I can never meet a man who won't mess me about! eveyone I have dated have cheated on me or used me for money even though I'm skint. my last relationship was we met he wanted sex nothing more that was it, kept making promises but they never happened. I get a lot of attention from men as I'm walking past them I'm 5,3 got long blonde hair dark blue eyes and I'm a size 8. so my question is why do men treat me like this? a lot of them have accused me of cheating on them even though I haven't when I'm with someone I never even look at another man. what can I do?
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 The bad news is, it's probably something you're doing. The good news is, that means you have the power to change it.
Either you're choosing to date guys who are predisposed to screwing girls over, or you're dating otherwise decent men but acting like the sort of girl that won't stick around, so they're screwing you over.
So, figure out which of those is the cause (might be both). If it's the first, find better guys to date. Meet them through mutual friends - or, if that's what you've been doing, find higher-quality friends. Focus on guys who don't have smooth flirting skills, since they're more likely to be the type to appreciate female interest.
If it's the latter, you need to start acting like a keeper. Never flake, never whine, and never talk about ex boyfriends. Go out of your way to see them, and to have a good time with them, and to entertain them as much as they entertain you - but don't put out until you're sure you have a good one.
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (13 December 2011):
 short and simple. don't make yourself easy ( don't give in to sex), have self respect (dignity, self worth, modesty ). any thing worth having is not cheap, any thing worth having has value. it is hard to value anything or anyone that we can get easily with little effort ( they are not valued or treasured either). my suggestion would be for finding a quality guy is to show him you have self worth, value , that you are not cheap. don't give yourself anymore regrets to look back on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): We treat you the way you let us treat you. Simple. We can only do what you let us do or what you let us get away with.
Why would we treat you any better when you don't demand it?
I'd use you for a fuck toy if you let me and I'm actually a pretty nice, caring guy but if you make it easy for me why would I make the effort?
If you're skint and I can still get money off you why wouldn't I? If you want love but you just give me sex all the time without making me prove my emotional commitment then why would I want to love you?
I'm not trying to be cruel OP but even you yourself see yourself as nothing more than a fine ass blond girl that's worthy of boning. You don't mention any traits about your personality or tell us how kind and sweet you are, you only told us men love your appearance and describe in detail why. OP if you don't see yourself as anything more then why would we? Why is the fact you're gorgeous the thing you're first to point out to us? According to your post all your good for is sex and money.
You're just a sucker OP that revels in the attention of being pretty and loves the idea that it's so easy for you to get guys and you play along with that by being too easy. Now I'm not saying you sleep around, I'm not calling you a slut but when you view yourself in terms of a tasty steak in a butchers window then that's all we'll see you as and that's all we need to do to get you too.
Have a read of this:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-actions-speak-louder-than-words.html
You need to learn how to make men prove themselves OP. It's the first thing I taught my sisters when they first started dating. The first rule is simple: Every guy you ever meet in your life is full of shit and a liar that just wants sex, until their actions prove to you otherwise. Until they prove that to you, you give them nothing. You see OP my sisters are gorgeous girls, real head turners like and I didn't want them to end up with the pretty girls curse. They understand that the first thing any guy is going to want from a girl that is stunning is sex. It's inbuilt into us, we can't help it.
As N91 said it takes time for a guy to prove himself so you take your time and you let him do it.
One of my sisters turned around to me when we were talking about it and said that she has her needs too when it comes to sex and she didn't like the idea of holding back as she'd be losing out. I told her if her main priority with any guy is to just get laid then that's fine, but if having a guy love, respect and want you for more than just sex then you have to sacrifice the sex for a little while to ensure he wants the same things. If sex is the most important part then fine but don't cry and moan if that's all it turns out to be about.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (13 December 2011):
 Make yourself harder to win over, play hard to get and don't be so available because some men will take this as you being easy and exploit that fact.
Make them wait for sex, make them work for it, months if needs be and if they stick it out, then you know they're genuine. Players won't chase a girl for month, their interest will wane after a few weeks.
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