A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:a few years back i had this male best friend, (lets call him man A)we were unbelievably close and i started to get some feelings for him.it never really went anywhere until we had a drunken one night stand.time passed and i lost contact with him.i am now currently in a relationship with a man who i love very much (call him man B), i have been with him for 2 years and things have been going well...until man A recently got into contact with me again, we got talking and he told me that he has always had extremely strong feelings for me and still does, and i admit that there is something about him that i cant get out of my head.we decided to meet up for a chat and i ended up going back to his house and we spent an AMAZING night together, he was by far the most passionate and thoughtful lover i have ever had.he knows about man B and will not tell him about our night, but we are planning to do it again.and the worst part is i don't even feel guilty about it.i want to stay in a relationship with man B and Man A knows that and accepts it.am i a bad person?what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): "i want to stay in a relationship with man B and Man A knows that and accepts it."
Of course, he gets to fuck the other guys woman, take no responsibility for day to day life and love and support, and walk off whenever the does.
Big ego trip that, fucking the other guy's girl who he has to work to keep happy, be nice to her, etc, etc.
I don't know what you think about yourself, but if you think this is OK you definitely don't love your boyfriend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): for me you seem so blase about your cheating: no conscious whatsoever. you say u love your bf: what actions of yours show that u love him. you purposefully and deliberately met your lover with the intention of having sex with him.
its your actions, darling, which speak volumes.
the Aunts have advised that u hould leave your bf. BUT just reading your words we all know that u wont. you will play him for all its worth and one day until he decides that u are just not worth it, you will be unable to identify the woman u have become them. by them it will be too late but hey, that is how the cookie crumbles......
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 I think you should leave Man B. If it was this easy to go with another man, then clearly you don't love Man B. On top of that, you intend to continue seeing Man A. That's yet another reason to let Man B find someone who does love him and will make him happy.
Yes, you're a bad person.
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A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 You want to eat your cake and have it ...... Okay let's see here if this thing with man A is a one time thing I will kind of understand but why are you planning on doing it a 2nd, 3rd and possibly a 4th time? You need to answer a few questions for yourself. Are you still in love with your bf after meeting up with this other guy? Is the amazing night reason enough for you to leave your bf? IMHO, the only time you should get rid of a guy is if he isn't nice and understanding with you, doesn't treat you right - sex is good and I think that's what's attracting you to this other guy but a good relationship could go beyond sex (but not beyond good sex :).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): You don't feel guilty about it because the human brain is programmed to make us reproduce effectively, not be fair to each other. You are doing something that might produce healthier offspring so you don't feel guilty even though it is morally wrong.
You are being very unfair and hurtful to your BF whether you want to face up to it or not.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Not reasonable at all. If you're going to do it again, then break up with your boyfriend because its extemely cruel on him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): errr not a truly bad person but you've done a terrible thing and you've cheated on a man who loves you very much by the sounds of it. He will be devestated by the fact that you think so little of the love you have that you would sleep with someone else.
If I were advising him what to do I'd say dump her and dont look back she dosen't deserve you!! You really need to choose one or the other because this will only end in tears trust me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): Bad person?
Well if your boyfriend found out , what would he say? If he is against cheating that makes you a cheater doesn't it?
Look, honestly just tell your "MAN B" or whatever, just the fact that he's B and NOT A means you don't want him. Leave the poor guy alone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): Your not a bad person, but you are being unfair and unreasonable. You need to chose between these 2 men. It is unfair to your boyfriend, as the saying goes you can't have your cake and eat it too, He may not tell your boyfriend, but your boyfriend could find out, and it will devastate him. If you want to stay in you relationahip with man A, end it with man B. If you want to continue with man B, then end the relationship with man A. It is unfair to your boyfriend to be treating him in this way. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): Man b deserves to know exactly who he is with. I would end it with man b (who you love very much). He is being mislead by believing he`s got a girlfriend who`s exclusive to him. I am not saying you are a bad person, but you are a bad girlfriend. The truth always comes out in the strangest of ways, and when it does, man b will be the victim, not you.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (11 December 2011):
Yes, you are a bad person. Because a good person won't hurt another one if it can be avoided. And could just choose not hurt your boyfriend and do one of two things. a) You don't have sex with man A b)You break up with your boyfriend and then you have sex with man A
You are cheating on your boyfriend with no remorse because you are totally selfish. From your point of view you have to keep doing it. You don't feel anything is wrong after all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): Well the fact that man A doesn't care that you have a boyfriend means he doesn't respect your relationship with him. Eventually he'll persuade you to leave your boyfriend for him and when you do, he'll probably feel that it's ok to cheat on you. And you won't be able to have a go at him for it because he'll remind you that you were a cheater too. This guy is bad news. Cut it off with him or you will regret it. If you wanna carry on then at least have the decency to break up with your boyfriend. He deserves at least that.
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