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I can't make my b/f cum without his assistance

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Question - (21 December 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2011)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok this is really embarrasing for me but I really need help I'm desperate :(. I can't really make my boyfriend come without his assistance ( him thrusting more etc ). When we're in the middle of doing something if I,m doing it I can't finish because I get tired :/ He said it was because I was drinking the last few times and drink affects it but is that just a cover? How can I make him come faster?

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (22 December 2011):

Ciar agony auntAlcohol can certainly affect one's performance, but that applies to him as well, no? I think it unfair of your boyfriend to lay all this at your doorstep.

You've heard that saying 'We're responsible for our own orgasm'? What do you think that means?

It may not be what you're doing, but when you do it, how often and for how long. You may be pressuring yourself to be a dynamo in bed and paying little attention to what also works for you. Instead of enjoying those intimate moments you're dreading them and your performance reflects that.

For example, you may gain satisfaction from the pleasure your boyfriend recieves from fellatio, but that doesn't mean you actually like doing it. If that's the case, you're not alone. You may feel more comfortable and be better at it if you're weren't expected to do it so often or for so long. He may enjoy it more if he sees it as a treat and not a birthright.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2011):

N91 agony auntKitties raises a very good point, alcohol can make it take a lot, lot, lot, lot longer.

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A female reader, KittieS United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2011):

KittieS agony auntEnjoy your time together! Women don't really get tired because of alcohol but men often find they can't after a few beers - might be him not you!

However, If you feel comfortable and he feels happy with it you could push your finger slightly into his anus as this can make a man cum quicker.

You could also try different positions where he can be more in control, doggy will be very pleasurable for you both! Allows him to thrust and hit your G-Spot all good stuff!

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2011):

N91 agony auntNothing you can do can make him cum faster, it just happens when it happens. I've had this problem before where it took me ages to cum as well. Just ask him what feels best for him and that should help out.

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