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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Tired of getting snubbed by those around me. What can I do?
Q. I made a best friend at university. But now it's like he's been stolen from me and looks at me differently. I was best friends with him for months, but a while back he started hanging around with someone else in my halls and now it's all about t...
A. 9 June 2011: Sorry to hear that mate, uni can be an intimidating place as it is as you've got to make new mates from the off.
If this guy is willing to sack you off and start being off with you then he's obviously not the type of guy you want to be a mate wit... (read in full...)
My mind is telling me to be with him but my heart is saying no...
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend recently due to the fact that he's disrespectful, mistreats me, cheated 4 times while we were together, when we're having problems he doesn't want to talk about it, he either ignores me or get mad and tell me to ...
A. 8 June 2011: Absolutely do not get back with this guy, he obviously doesn't give a crap about you, cheating on you multiple times, blowing you off for his friends and generally disrespecting you.
You're a young girl, go out, have fun and enjoy yourself... (read in full...)
Do guys like girls with small boobs that go braless?
Q. Do guys like girls with small boobs and going braless ? Also is it trashy to do so ? I'm asking this question because i started dating a new guy and he is great but he always wants me to go braless and likes to see my hard nipples through ...
A. 8 June 2011: I was with a girl a bit back who hated her boobs as they were pretty small, but I loved them, no matter how much I told her that, she would always cover them during sex which was disappointing, but I told her I liked them anyways, and I truly did, ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend troubles.........
Q. So I'm with my girlfriend for the second time after a break. But it turns out the first time at a party we went to , together, she kissed and tossed someone else off. I left earlier then her as I was up early the next morning. But months after ...
A. 7 June 2011: Tell her to hit the dusty trail, she obviously doesn't care for you very much if she's too busy wanking other guys off whilst you're on a break.
Give it time and you'll find a girl that you don't even need to have a break from.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me what I'm doing wrong?
Q. So... My lovelife hasn't exactly been the best... My first girlfriend I dated for two years and she had intimacy problems. She said she'd rather play video games then hold my hand and we never kissed. After two years of dating, I thought if i rem...
A. 6 June 2011: Doesn't sound to me like you're doing anything wrong, just sounds like you're picking the wrong girls.
Gotta hand it to you for saying no to sex until you found the right person, a lot of guys would immediately give in and be thrilled at the pros... (read in full...)
Should I pay my boyfriend or should he work for free?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and six months. He has a handyman business. I need electrical and plumbing work done should i pay him to do the work?...
A. 4 June 2011: Just ask him whether he was expecting you to pay or not.... (read in full...)
For the guys: Why do you put kisses at the end of texts? Does it mean anything to you?
Q. What is it with men and putting kisses on the end of texts? I'd like for the majority of answers to men just so i know, but women feel free to answer too with your opinions:) Okay so, i don't wanna be judged on the age different or whatever, thi...
A. 3 June 2011: I'm 19 and put xs on my text whether its to a girl or a boy mate, just a force of habit.... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for passing up this chance at a great school for a girl who doesn't love me?
Q. I have done things that are quite stupid because I love a girl but she doesn't love me. For example, I got into a school which only take in 5 people in sixth form and this year more than 300 talented students applying because it has 27% of Oxbridge ...
A. 3 June 2011: Yes, you're being very stupid and potentially harming your own future making a bad decision based on a girl that has no feeling for you.
you're young, you have the best years of your life ahead of you! Don't get bogged down chasing girls at your ... (read in full...)
He has made it clear he doesn't like me, but still takes me out as if it were a date.
Q. I'll try to keep this brief. I'm 18 and this guy is 20. I was "seeing" him back in Sept/Oct/Nov. We used to go to the movies, out to eat, bowling, etc. And so I thought he liked me, if he was willing to take me out and pay each time. So aft...
A. 2 June 2011: Sounds like he thought you were a good friend and liked your company. I have a few close girl friends that I wouldn't want to develop a relationship with.... (read in full...)
What are the defining qualities that you look for in a man, from initial attraction to wanting to develop a relationship with someone?
Q. Question to the women out there on dear cupid... What are the defining qualities that you look for in a man, from initial attraction to wanting to develop a relationship with someone? I only ask this for a little advice as I struggle quit...
A. 31 May 2011: Thankyou everyone!
It was very helpful to gain an insight into what women look for and there were a few varying qualities so I really appreciate your views as they all made for very interesting reading.
@ anon_e_mouse - You make a very good... (read in full...)
Confused about being friends with my ex
Q. hey everyone and sorry if this is a bit long: me and my ex went out for just over 8 months, things were good , only had one arguement in that time. however one day he decides to just tell me he's met someone else ( basically broke up) i obv was ...
A. 30 May 2011: Do not let him worm his way back into your life and break the relationship between you and your boyfriend who you love.
He has hurt you before and will do it again!... (read in full...)
I like him, and I think he might like me too, but I'm not sure! help!
Q. I recently met this boy (past few weeks) and I am beginning to really like him. He's very shy and quiet or at least he seems to be, occasionally I see another side to him. Anyway we started talking fairly regularly (in person and facebook). ...
A. 30 May 2011: As CaringGuy said, take the chance, you should definately tell him how you feel.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to get erections for no reason?
Q. Is it normal for men (not teenage boys) to get and erection for no reason? My boyfriend gets them supposedly for no reason..he is in his late 20s. I am aware of morning wood and so on and so forth, but we will be doing something as simple as ...
A. 30 May 2011: Absolutely, I get random boners all the time, can be pretty embarrassing if you're in a place where it's not appropriate though! haha... (read in full...)
Guys : Girls what do you think of "the rules?"
Q. The Rules: do you ladies out there follow them? And men- does it work? Do you like a lady better of she ignores you until you call? I'm asking because I'm such an open book and I think I make it too easy for guys by being easy going and not pl...
A. 25 May 2011: I hate it when girls make a guy chase, I am so bad at reading signals from girls and it doesn't help that I'm not confident with them, I wish girls would be more inclined to initiate contact and not always leave it up to the guy!... (read in full...)
I had sex with a transexual, does that make me gay?
Q. i had sex with a transexual, it it really bugging the hell out of me.. does that make me gay?...
A. 22 May 2011: I don't think it makes you gay, but I'd class that as gay sex.... (read in full...)
What do girls think about an 18 year old virgin?
Q. theres a girlm i have started to like and she sounds like she likes me too as we flirt all the time and she immediately replies to my messages that i send her. theres this friend who we both know she went to school with this girl i like and im at...
A. 22 May 2011: I lost my virginity at 19 to a 20 year old girl who is a mate, she'd had sex with about 5 other people - Didn't phase me at all, felt great because it was with someone I cared about! Sure, tell her, it's nothing to be ashamed about, I told my... (read in full...)
How do I stop being so horny?
Q. I am Thirteen (Almost 14) and almost always horny. I'm ok with the fact, but not that I am horny all the time. Is there any way to keep my self from being like this so much? I know it would go down if I had sex, but I'm 13, that's not happening any ...
A. 18 May 2011: Ahh man, I'm the same but I'm 19, it doesn't help that I do weightlifting and take supplements which encourage the release of testosterone, its hard (twss) to try and suppress this feeling, so I need to masturbate quite often, as I'm not with ... (read in full...)
Untrustworthy behaviour?
Q. Background: I have been quite close to an older guy for a number of months. We ended up getting quite close and he tends to flirt with me, especially when we're alone - though nothing has actually happened yet (he's married). He's been very ...
A. 17 May 2011: How can you trust him in the first place? He is married and flirting with other girls....that right there is already a huge red flag.... (read in full...)
When a girl stops giving oral does it mean they are no longer into you?
Q. Hi Just looking for some advice really Ive been with my partner for nearly three years now, things are great except for one aspect. We still have sex regularly, but the oral sex (from her) has gone from frequently to hardly ever- even as...
A. 17 May 2011: Maybe it seems like she enjoys it but just says that to keep things sweet?
A friend of mine who I've been intimate with, after me asking whether she minds going down or not, she described it as 'pretty grim' and I don't blame her, what's nice abo... (read in full...)
Why is it the second you ignore a guy, he comes running?
Q. First off, I apologize in advance to any decent guys out there; know that I'm not trying to stereotype you, I'm just really frustrated. I have had this on again/off again thing with a guy for over a year now. He'll do the most amazing things s...
A. 17 May 2011: I'm interested in a girl that knows how to make me chaser and there's no easier way to do that than by ignoring a guy...it makes me think I've done something wrong or there's a problem and it makes me want to get into contact with her more to see ... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can pull her towards me?
Q. i like this girl and have always been since the past one year but nothing has happened bcoz she said that she didnt like me that way but only as a friend, so i didnt even bother asking her.....this is infact the first girl i have liked soooo much. ...
A. 17 May 2011: In the exact same situation my friend, it's an absolute horrible feeling. I'm afraid there's nothing that you can do really, as Denise said, cutting contact would be the best method, much easier said than done as I can't bring myself to do it ... (read in full...)
How many friends do you have?
Q. OK I am wondering how many friends--and I mean real friends--can a person honestly have. I am not counting Facebook friends, but real friends. To me a real friend is someone you feel a kinship with, someone you identify with and who identifies w...
A. 17 May 2011: That I'm in daily contact with or feel I could talk to about anything I'd say 3. Another 2 who I hang out with from time to time. ... (read in full...)
Falling for the guy I am having casual sex with.....what should I do?
Q. so, there is this guy that i am sleeping with at the moment and he is amazing. we started sleeping together under the condition that our arangment is purley just sex.. so we have been spending every weekend together for a while now and i have fallen ...
A. 16 May 2011: I was in the same situation but the guy developing the feelings. I told her how I felt, made me feel better about myself to get it off my chest and have her know, but it hasn't chnaged anything, we are still friends but the sex has stopped.
I sti... (read in full...)
When you rim someone, can you taste anything?
Q. I was wondering, when you rim someone, does it taste of, err, anything? Or should it be fairly tasteless? Is it normal if it tasted of "anything" or would that mean someone has bad hygiene? Thanks x...
A. 16 May 2011: Doesn't taste of anything whatsoever.... (read in full...)
Do you have to be a "bad boy" for girls to like you?
Q. This question is for women ,I never had a girlfriend and I'm still looking. But I heard girls like the "bad boys". I'm a sweet heart guy and I do have confidence, faith, and not a pushover. I am responsible and I would protect my girlfriend from ...
A. 16 May 2011: Amen to this buddy!!
Couldn't agree more, I know exactly where you're coming from. Of all the girls I've like in the past including one right now, I'm nothing but myself, kind and caring and just get brushed aside and forgotten about.
I'd als... (read in full...)
I'm reluctant to reccomend my friend for a job at my workplace
Q. About 2 years ago a woman I worked with left the company as she decided she wanted a more flexible job so she could have more time with her 2 children. I kept in touch with her via facebook and she often texts me. She has now decided that she...
A. 13 May 2011: Just say you've put a word in, but don't if you think it could risk your own job.
Like you said, its only going to come back to you and make yourself that bad.
I wouldn't take the risk, I'd just say you've put a word in and tell her they ha... (read in full...)
My bf is now bi curious and a x-dresser....help!
Q. Ok so... my bf and I have been dating for over 3 years now. He has admited to being a crossdresser. I have seen it, was fun at first now hes really into it. AND now is bi-curious. We had talked about him trying a tgirl and i was alright with it....
A. 12 May 2011: Not at all, to me you sound very open minded and tolerant. I think I'd lose my mind if a gf told me she wanted to go off and sleep with other girls.
This doesn't sound healthy to me though, don't know many couples where one half is asking to go of... (read in full...)
What does it mean if I move on quickly from guys?
Q. What does it mean if I move on from guys quickly? Like a guy i really really like, could hurt my feelings and make me feel worthless. But i wont get upset over it, i just think i'm not going to let them get to me. Or if it doesn't work out...
A. 8 May 2011: Not at all, if anything, this is a good thing as you wont spend weeks maybe months moping around and feeling down at the end of a relationship. I wish I could get over things as quickly as you do!... (read in full...)
I want to show her that I don't just want her for sex. I really care about her.
Q. Okay guys, So I'm back again, feeling really down at the minute as it's going downhill rapidly with my FWB, I've know her for about a month or so now (was introduced through my sister) and the first few weeks were great, we saw each other regul...
A. 4 May 2011: That's a very fair point celtic_tiger, I said it wouldn't happen, but it did lol To be fair though, I could of seen myself beginning to like her anyway just because of how she is as a person, but having sexual relations certainly didn't help. ... (read in full...)
Is there anywhere I can go for male advice on male problems?
Q. is there any agony site for men. similar to dearcupid.com but mainly for men. I notice that most of the male questions here are answered by female aunts. I need male views on some male questions. ...
A. 4 May 2011:
There's plenty of males around here to answer your questions mate and I'm sure that if you wanted to mail a few directly then they wouldn't mind.... (read in full...)
Do you regret having sex before getting married?
Q. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now and he's 19 and I'm 17 and we've been talking about having sex for a couple of months now and my question is do any of you regret having sex before marriage or just having it at all when you ...
A. 4 May 2011: Not at all, it was with a friend who means a lot to me and it made it that much better :)... (read in full...)
I want to show her that I don't just want her for sex. I really care about her.
Q. Okay guys, So I'm back again, feeling really down at the minute as it's going downhill rapidly with my FWB, I've know her for about a month or so now (was introduced through my sister) and the first few weeks were great, we saw each other regul...
A. 4 May 2011: Thanks deirdre :)
You really helped me out on this one and I feel so much better about myself for doing so, sure I'm a little upset that she only wants to be friends, but hey, she's a great girl and I can live with that. Ill move on best I can as... (read in full...)
What are natural ways to grow a larger penis?
Q. Ok, this is my question. I am 15 years old and I have a 7 inch penis. Is that normal? Is that small or anything, cause I'm kinda worried it'll stop growing. What are some natural ways to grow a bigger penis? Anything useful will help!!! :) Thanx...
A. 4 May 2011: I'm 19 and I'm pretty sure mine is smaller than that lol
Listen to cindy and don't get greedy! Size doesn't always matter anyway!... (read in full...)
He's ONLY hit me twice recently. But should I end this relationship?
Q. My partner used to physicaly and mentaly abuse me. it became worse during my pregnancy , and i miscarried. After this he became better for a while and has only hit me twice in serious arguments. i still can't get over how he treated me and even tho...
A. 4 May 2011:
ABSOLUTLEY YES!!
What man abuses the woman he loves? And the fact that you lost a child because of it??? What did you tell your family and friends the reason that you lost the child?
This man is poison and doesn't deserve you, a gf/wife shoul... (read in full...)
I want to show her that I don't just want her for sex. I really care about her.
Q. Okay guys, So I'm back again, feeling really down at the minute as it's going downhill rapidly with my FWB, I've know her for about a month or so now (was introduced through my sister) and the first few weeks were great, we saw each other regul...
A. 4 May 2011: Well, I did it, told her exactly how I feel....she took it well and we're still friends, business as usual.
She told me she'd still hang out with me, but no sex because she doesn't feel the same and doesn't want to lead me on.
I also asked ... (read in full...)
I want to show her that I don't just want her for sex. I really care about her.
Q. Okay guys, So I'm back again, feeling really down at the minute as it's going downhill rapidly with my FWB, I've know her for about a month or so now (was introduced through my sister) and the first few weeks were great, we saw each other regul...
A. 3 May 2011: Hi Deirdre,
I honestly do think you're right and that I am beginning to love this girl, I should have thought about this even before the first time we had sex (I also lost my virginity yo yhis girl) and I think I've gotten too attached, somethin... (read in full...)
I want to show her that I don't just want her for sex. I really care about her.
Q. Okay guys, So I'm back again, feeling really down at the minute as it's going downhill rapidly with my FWB, I've know her for about a month or so now (was introduced through my sister) and the first few weeks were great, we saw each other regul...
A. 3 May 2011: @ Skooloflife Thanks for the reply :) Well, I've had a very good clear the air talk with her since I've posted this, I've told her all my concerns that it feels like things have changed a little. Her final line before we went back to bei... (read in full...)
I don't know how to get rid of these evil jealous feelings
Q. I've developed a crush for a close friend and I'm trying to get rid of this sentiment (a relationship is out of the question right now) but I'm also feeling really jealous of another friend. The boy I'm crushing on is really sweet but he's a...
A. 2 May 2011: I know the feeling, I'm in a similar situation with a girl that I want to be with but she only wants to be mates. Mine was a little more serious though as we were basically FWB but she's kinda changed her mind on that too and now just wants stric... (read in full...)
She said she will never have feelings for me, but I cant stop believing! Help!
Q. The story goes like this. There's this girl I really like, or love at the present. We knew each other 1 year ago. At that time, she just broke up with her boyfriend but then they patched up. At that time, I felt I was so close to have her and became ...
A. 27 April 2011:
Sorry to hear that dude, but you can't force her to like you. If there is nothing there for her in regards to a relationship between you two then you need to respect that and acknowledge that things aren't going to happen.
I know its not what... (read in full...)
What is the meaning of what he said to me?
Q. I met a man on facebook and suddenly started to like each other. He lives very far from here and we are realistic about the few possibilities of meeting. The only thing I want to ask is this: one day he told me something that I couldn´t understand ...
A. 27 April 2011:
He's basically saying if you met up, he would want to stay with you and not let you go.
The second part that he would want to make love to you simply because he does love you and not because he thinks you are good looking or just because ther... (read in full...)
Why would he have this type of porn on his computer?
Q. I found heaps of Asian porn on my husbands computer. Now I am worried he prefers them to me and I am getting very upset about it. Everytime we go out I am worried he is perving at them and preferring them to me. We fight about it all the time. I am ...
A. 27 April 2011:
What has he said to you when you have asked him about it?
Personally, I wouldn't read too much into it, its normal for men to look at porn even when they are in a relationship, I wouldn't see it as him preferring them to you and you're secon... (read in full...)
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