A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. I am now about seven weeks pregnant.During these two weeks I have been forced to face some tough desicions. I am fifteen and my boyfriend is sixteen. At first my boyfriend was supportive, but then he turned around and said we were too young.I have examined each option very carefully, and I feel like Abortion is the best option. I'm sorry if you don't believen that.My reasons are, I am young and there are many risks. My boyfriend is a drug addict and doesn't have a stable enviroment and has no job, either do I. He is in and out of jail, cheats on me and treats me like dirt.I don't think I could ever do it on my own and my mother can't do much to help me. I'm scared that when I get the Abortion, my boyfriends family will hate me because they still wanted me to keep it. My boyfriend and I broke up today and his sister threatened me, and I'm scared that when they find out that they will seriously hurt me.I have thought about telling them I miscarried, but then they will probably say, 'I bet she lied about being pregnant this whole time' or that they won't believe me and know I got an abortion.I'm stuck.. so what should I do now??
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female
reader, califnan  +, writes (16 September 2009):
 Please, may I have an update..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): Hey, I am in a similar situation than you I am 9 weeks pregnate a have considered having a abortion. my ex boyfriend is also a drug addict and very controlling. and his family does not like me. but i have considered every thing and in most ways having a abortion for me is the right thing, but i know i will regret it. i say have a real good think about it and if you choose to keep it go find help and support, because if you have a lot of support it will help.
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A
female
reader, BadderzGirl  +, writes (16 August 2009):
YOU are the mother and it is ALWAYS the mother's preogative in these situations.In my opinion, judging by the facts that your ex BF is a drug addict and has no job, he SHOULD NOT have a kid at all and he and his family have no right to demand that you keep the baby. There have been a lot of cases where husbands and BF's have threatened to leave in the case of abortion, but he is you EX. YOU. ARE. NOT. TOGETHER. It's never a good idea to have a kid without a relationship with someone to look out for you.And sweetie, you are also underage and should not have been having sex in the first place, but that's all done and dusted with now so...yeah.You also have your education to think about which will prove extremely hard if you've got a kid on your arm.There's also all the whispers you'll hear around school. My friend got pregnant at 14 and all she heard was 'Look at that slut who got pregnant!'So if I were you, I would have an abortion but remember, that's just me. You have to be emotionally stable to have an abortion. At the moment, your foetus is about 8mm long and is barely recognizable as a human. So you are still eligable for a suction-aspiration method of abortion which is done under a general anaesthetic so it's not too painful. But you've only got until 12 weeks to do this so get prepared if you are going to have the abortion.Good luck in whatever you choose to do!toodles!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): dont listen to people that say theyre against abortions, i am pregnant myself but can still say if its not right for you then thats the way it is, do what ever you feel is best, if you cant bring the baby into the life it deserves then youl be doing the right thing anyway. i havent really got any advice about the boyfriends family, but good luck with that any way and do what you feel about the abortion.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 August 2009):
 You have to do what YOU think is right for YOU. Don't worry about his family or even him for that matter. In this situation he is pretty useless.
Just do me a big big favor, get counseling after the abortion. And good job dumping the boyfriend. You deserve so much better, don't ever think less of yourself.
Good luck,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): WOW, in many locations he could be arrested for a sex crime and charged with having sex with an underaged minor. That kind of crime usually haughts people the rest of their life as it can affect employmeet & housing- not to mention that he may have to explaine to every girlfriend after you what happended, since he wouldn't be able to get a good job, and would have to notify the police everytime he moved.
You need to turn this into a positive expeience, and you're likely very right- at 15 your too young to bring a baby into the world, and you need to focus on you, getting schooled and preparing yourself for a long and fulfilling life. You need to get an education, and get out there and meet people who will have a future - a 16 year old drug addict is likely not going anywhere good anytime soon, and it sounds as if his family lacks quality...
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 August 2009):
 If the abortion is the right thing for you to do then go ahead and see your doctor to get it arranged (the longer you leave it the more invasive the process). It is your body and your life, and you have to make the right choice for you.
I suggest you are just honest with your ex-boyfriend and tell him that you are getting the abortion. He can then tell his family - if they try and hurt you in anyway or threaten you then go to the police and get a restraining order against them. They have no say in your decision - personally I think you are doing the right thing because you are too young and clearly your boyfriend would be an unfit father therefore it wouldnt be fair to bring a baby into that mess. His family can do nothing about it, they might be angry or upset but eventually they will get over it.
Dont let anyone scare you or intimidate you - you seem like a very intelligent young girl and you've thought about this carefully so no-one has any right to try and judge you or try and change your mind.
I hope this helps and all the best for the future
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (13 August 2009):
 I'm so sorry that you are in this situation.
If you believe this is the right choice for you, go ahead and do it. His family will just have to cope with it. It's your body and you have the right to make whatever choices about it that you want. If you believe that you can't be a good parent at this point in your life, abortion is a perfectly valid choice. Don't worry. You'll be okay. They might dislike you but so what? They'll get over it, and your ex-boyfriend (please keep him as an ex, he sounds like he needs to get his life together) will have plenty of chances to be a parent another time.
Do what's right for you and don't worry about what other people think.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (13 August 2009):
 its your baby your life your body your choice.
if he treats you so shittily then get out of there!
you shouldn't feel threatened by him or his family!!!
you're 15 for gods sakes!! if you feel scared of how they'll react then get the police involved get some protection around you!
you are right in thinking on the options you have and you've clearly picked your ideal choice i respect that seeing as you guys are both young and he's a druggy and obviously had a criminal record which in alot of cases means won't get a job.
you do whatever you feel is right for you!
get the abortion if that's your choice but make sure it is your choice and no-one elses!!!
his family should no way threaten you or hurt you neither should he at the end of the day this is your body your choice your life!!
they can't force you to do anything you don't want too.
if they try to you tell your mum or someone you trust and get the police involved.
hope this helps hun :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
female
reader, rosie-rouge +, writes (13 August 2009):
 Hi there.
A pretty tricky situation you've got there :S But here goes :)
TO be honest, you made the right decision having been through all of your possibilites, so well done for that, that was the mature thing to do.
And, because your ex-boyfriend wasn't supportive or treating you in the right way, you have the right to make the decision becuase it's your baby (like, in your body) so I think they should appreciate that you've made a decision.
If they start to hurt you, you should call the police straight away. My friend's ex boyfriend nearly rapped her 4 times and desperately wanted her dead. She ended up in hospital a few times and had to be resusitated last week. I think all of thise was because when he started doing things like this, she just kept it quiet and never wanted the police involved. In the end she went to the police and got the doctor to write a letter, or something like that, to qualify the offence (or whatever they call it).
I think you should just come clean without lying, because if you lie and they find out that you were, you will be in even more trouble than you already are with them (You may even feel guilty about it as well, never good). Be confident and tell them how it is. Tell them all of your reasons - even make some up if you get stuck - just be honest and tell them how it is - straight up.
I hope everything goes well for you. I hope a helped a little.
Rosie-Rouge Ox'
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): First off, if you can, at least lean on your mother for guidance.
If your boyfriend is no longer in your life, his family doesn't have to be either in which case their opinion is irrelevant. If they are going to be out of your life, as hard as it is, you shouldn't care if they think you were lying about the pregnancy. If a miscarriage lie gets them to leave you alone, do it.
If you are having second thoughts about the abortion and get along with and trust your ex's family, maybe they could help you through the pregnancy and raise the baby or help with the adoption process. If they are trustworthy and you are willing to go through with the pregnancy sit down and explain the kind of support you would need to them and see if they are in a position and willing to help.
If you are going through with the abortion and they have threatened you and you are genuinely scared for your safety, maybe you should look into getting a restraining order or talking to the police.
I'm sorry to hear that you are in this situation.
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