A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I got out of a 4 year relationship just under a year ago and now that I'm dating again, I'm wondering how people cope with 1) the uncertainty of it all, getting to know different guys at the same time and not knowing if there could be a future with one or any of them and 2) juggling everything - I'm not getting as much work done as I'd like because I'm going out on dates or trying to figure out if so and so likes me and if I like him. I just moved to a new city and am meeting a lot of new guys, particularly because the area I work in has a ratio of about 20 single guys per single girl. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 August 2009):
 God I want to live where you live! 20 guys per girl? sounds pretty good to me, here in the UK its more like 100 girls to every guy (at least it feels like that!).
I am in a similar situation to you, I have just started dating again and I'm finding it exhausting, I've started a new job in a new city so I want to impress, but I've also met a couple of guys I quite like! And really what I have found is that there is no way to juggle both dating and work, they are pretty detrimental to each other! Work means you have less time for dating and you are too tired at the end of the day to make the effort to go on a date, and then dating means you are more distracted at work and are more tired if you've been out on a date the night before!
In the early stages of dating someone your work/life balance will be a mess, I think you just have to accept that. Like me this week - I have had 5 hours sleep over the last 2 days! But it was so worth it because I went on my second date with a lovely guy who I've been completely distracted by all day at work today! But that feeling you get when you are first with someone is so exciting, so I think even if work suffers for a couple of weeks its not the end of the world!
Work isnt everything - we dont live to work, we work to live. So just enjoy being single and dating again, have fun and if your work really starts to suffer then try to cut back on the number of guys you are dating (I know over in the US you like to go out with lots of guys at once! Here in the UK we only date one at a time, makes life a lot easier believe me!). Keep dates to the weekend so you are not having to rush around so much, and just try and work out the merits of each guy you are seeing so you dont waste time on unsuitable men!
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (14 August 2009):
You still have to remember to keep your priorities number one in your life. Then dating comes after that. Do what you can, and if you're too busy or need to catch up on work, then do that. I know dating can lead to your mind wandering and thinking about the guys that you're seeing. If someone wants to see you on a night that you need to try to catch up on work, reschedule or weed out the ones that you're not really into anyway.
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