A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm 16 and my girlfriend has just turned 13 but she wants sex! What should I do?Is it ok to have sex with someone that age cos she has kept asking me almost every night for about 3 weeks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): Don't whatever you do - it's illegal to have sex with a girl who's under age (it's 15 or 16 yrs.) She's not old enough to realise the seriousness of the possible lifelong consequences. Remember if you play with fire you must expect to get burnt. Looks like you'll have to be the mature one and say NO.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (15 August 2009):
 The irony of the religious comment is Mary the Virgin was betrothed to Joseph and became pregnant with Jesus the son of God at guess what - 13! So im guessing God wouldnt have a problem with it
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (15 August 2009):
I say go for just make sure its good because its her first time and she will never forget hopefully. and use protection and be safe.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): you people are crazy.only she knows if she is ready or not so you cant just go and say 'shes not ready'.and sex is fun so there.virginity isnt 'precious' it is religious rubbish.
and the not ready mentally and physically? physically she is ready mentally only she knows.but you know what adults are like they always fib to deter kids from enjoying sex.
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A
female
reader, tamika1983 +, writes (13 August 2009):
She's not really ready for sex. She may think that once u have sex with her it'll make u want her more or be in love with her. If no one else has told her u have to tell her that its a sacred thing and if she's a virgin she should wait for sex. There's no reason to rush cause once its gone u can't get it back. Think about the consequences like pregnancy or jail. I'm not telling u to dump her but u defiently need to wait until she's 18.
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A
female
reader, Asian! +, writes (12 August 2009):
Don't have sex with her. She may think she is ready but trust me she is not. I was the same way when I was 13 I wanted to have sex with this guy that was older and we almost did but he stopped it and I hated that. But now I am glad he did I have realized I was not ready. Don't let her give up her virginity so young, make sure she knows it is something very special. Hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): We have been together for a year now and she is very pysically mature for her age. I have already tried to talk her out of it but she seems very persistant. The thing is though, we really do love each other a lot but i feel that we're both confused and i would prefer some proper advice than pointing out the obvious thing that it is illegal because i know it is which is why im worried.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (12 August 2009):
 It is possible that you would be charged with statutory rape for sex with a minor. I have known cases of parents pursuing this when they find out what is going on. Even if you didn't get charged with an offence, the stress of dealing with the police by you and your parents would be a hassle. I am more worried about this girl from a psychological point of view - it sounds like she feels under pressure from peers to 'do it' and maybe she thinks that sex will make her more interesting to an older boy such as yourself. Either way the girl has self confidence issues if she feels the need to ask for sex at that age. The mature thing to do is to say no, tell her to stop asking about it and to explain that you see her as more than just a sexual object.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (12 August 2009):
 I think some of the answers on here are a bit overdramatic, it wouldnt be rape because she consents. But you do have the issue that it is illegal in the UK for anyone over 16 to have sex with a minor (under 16).
Now I lost my virginity when I was 15 to a 17 year old, and we had been going out for around 6 months when we decided to do it. We both wanted to, it was very special and nothing bad happened (dont believe all the scaremongers on here!). BUT the main element here that made it right as opposed to very very wrong was the fact we had been together a while and we loved each other.
Your girlfriend may think that she is ready for sex but it sounds like you are having some doubts (hence why you are on this site). So I dont think its a good idea to sleep with her, you would need to be 100% certain it is the right thing to do and that you loved each other very much. 13 is very young, she has only just turned a teenager so I imagine she is feeling very happy she has an older boyfriend, hence she feels like she has to have sex with you to keep hold of you.
Maybe have a chat with her about sex - try and figure out why she is so keen to have sex now. Tell her that you feel it would be best to wait until she is a bit older because it is a very big decision to make to lose your virginity and you want to make sure it is special for her. I bet if she hears that she will be relieved in a way because she is probably just trying to please you by claiming to want sex.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): she is 13. NO WAY, Do not expect anyone to give you a reason for you doing this, its wrong and you know that already, listen to the voice in your head, be a man and say No.
Its called stautory rape.
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A
female
reader, Miss Karma Louise +, writes (12 August 2009):
oh my godness.
she is 13!! and you are 16. MAJOR PROBLEM.
do you know that having sex with somebody under16 is highley illegal.
finish the realtionship find sombody your OWN AGE.
be carfull.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): Absolutely NOT!! you are both waaaaay too young both emotionally and physically (her mostly) and it sounds like for her, there are some other issues going on that need addressing first!!
Offer her comfort, physicall affection (the pure type!), support with things such as schoolwork etc, talk things through with her and get involved with other physical activities like sports etc.. She will later on love and repsect you (and herself) for holding off! Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): Absolutley not!! Both of you cant risk her getting pregnant! She probly just wants it to fill the empty feeling on the inside she's probly getting pressured because all her friends are doing it.. But you never know just keep treating her like a gf and evry thing will b fine! Kisses, huggs, and holding hands do something to get her mind off of it.. hope i helped..
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A
female
reader, Leighann_ox +, writes (12 August 2009):
No it's not right for you to have sex with her, period.
A thirteen year old girl is too naive to know about the possibility of STD's and pregnancy, even considering it is wrong if I'm honest.
You're sixteen, find a girlfriend your own age and stop dating young girls who think dating sixteen year old makes them more 'mature.' More than likely you have not been in a relationship with this girl for a long time. Do you really want to take someone's virginity when they're at such a young, tender age?
Having sex underage is easy, but think about the repercussions;
STD's, pregnancy, a lack of education due to a teenage pregnancy, the fact that her parents will more than likely report you and you'll be put on the sex offendors register, imprisioned and unable to get a job in the future.
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A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (12 August 2009):
 No, it is not right for you both to have sex with each other. She is underage and you could be taken to court if you're found out. The law is there for a reason. I think she may want to have sex with you because she may feel peer pressed or just hormones. Ask her why she wants to have sex with you. How long have you both been together?
Hope this helps X
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