A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend runs a web hosting company. It's not just online though - he does meet with clients offline(i.e. face-to-face, these are business clients, not members of the public).When I told friends what he does they accused him of being as bad as online gaming addicts, people addicted to World of Warcraft (WoW), Runescape etc.His hosting company doesn't even have gaming sites - mostly corporate websites, motoring websites, advice websites, financial advice websites, basically anything lifestyle-related gets hosted by him.Even though I explained that it's a business and he makes money off it, and that he does have face-to-face interaction with corporate individuals, and that web hosting was a legitimate industry, they then accused me of being with him for his money.Yes, he makes a fair bit of money, but I knew him long before he got into web hosting with his best friend- back when I was in university.I feel like these friends are either jealous of our relationship or bitchy.He's not an addict, he knows when the workday's over, and he has offline interests (we take part in a film-making club together, and motor racing) so why do they accuse him of being gaming addicts? I do not get this.I feel stressed thinking about it, but my boyfriend just lets it wash over him - is this a good reaction?Our relationship is good though, he's rarely if ever jealous, our sex life is good, and the financial crisis doesn't affect us, as my boyfriend seems to invest wisely with his money, and he's a loving caring person - he taught pensioners how to use computers at the local day centre - which was a lovely thing, my grandmother learnt off him.There's NO age-gap between us - we're both 23 years old, and have known each other for 6 years now.I just feel so sick of narrow-minded attitudes towards us as a couple.Advice on dealing with this would be appreciated.
View related questions:
best friend, grandmother, jealous, money, online gaming, sex life, university, world of warcraft Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (7 August 2009):
 Seems like your friends are rather judgemental. Everything is wrong if they are the ones doing it?
Get better friends. The slagging everything off fad is over.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (7 August 2009):
 I think your boyfriend definately has the right attitude towards the negativity shown by your friends, just letting it wash over you is the best possible way to deal with it!
Your friends are both jealous and ignorant (they clearly have no idea what web hosting involves if they think it is like online gaming!). Your best bet is to leave them to it, they can be as negative as they like but the fact is you are happy and they are just jealous.
I am surprised they act like this; if they are supposed to be your friends then they would be happy for you that you have such a great relationship and they should be interested in your boyfriend and not criticising him!
I think you should have a word with your friends if you feel you cant let it wash over you - explain to them that their comments are getting you down and you wish they could be more supportive of your relationship. If they dont stop then maybe just stop seeing those particular friends - you dont need people like that in your life who only want to bring you down. Hanging around with people who are so negative will only make your life worse, not better so if they carry on then you are best off without them!
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (7 August 2009):
 They are definitely jealous. Hands down. You guys are only twenty three years old and he has this good of a job? And oh my god you are happy too??? Haha. People tend not to like to see other people happy and if what you just described is true, you have a lot to be happy about! This guy has a really good job, he leaves work at work, and he does things that include you at home! You both have known each other for six years and you still have a great relationship together. You both appreciate sex still, and he's a good guy! You know deep down if you are really using him for money or not, and by the sounds of it you aren't. You just really appreciate this guy who happens to work with computers for a living.
The fact that he lets it wash over is a good sign. It means that he doesn't take offense to it and that he isn't overly defensive. He knows it is all just a bunch of jealous people yapping their mouths, so he doesn't care. You should really take a leaf from his book and just forget what they are saying. Heck, maybe even find some different friends. It would be one thing if they were concerned that he was abusing you or cheating, but they are just wasting time attempting to bring you down with them. Tell them to stop, and that if they were really your friends, they wouldn't talk so negatively about your relationship and the person you care about.
...............................
|
