A
male
age
41-50,
*eadduderc
writes:One of my ex-girlfriends keeps trying to get back into my life because she keeps claiming that we are destined to be together because I took her virginity. But I really don't think that what I did with her really counted. Sure, we had all sorts of sexual fun, but we only supposedly had regular vaginal sex once and I am almost 100% positive that only the tip of my penis even entered her vagina and it was probably only for a few seconds at the very most. Also, I am positive that her hymen was still intact afterwards because I definitely saw it later on when I was eating her out. Besides, I was not really horny at that particular moment so my penis did not get nearly as hard as usual and I don't think it could have gone punctured the hymen anyways. So what I want to know is exactly which moment of the penis touching the vagina counts as losing your virginity: the second the tip of the penis touches the outside of the vagina, the moment the tip actually enters the vagina, the moment the hymen is actually punctured, or none of the above?
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ex girlfriend, horny, hymen, my ex, my penis, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, deadduderc +, writes (18 August 2009):
deadduderc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wanted to thank all of you for the excellent feedback!!!
A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (14 August 2009):
I agree with baby duck. The real issue is she wants to get back into your life. If you don't want to, then tell her.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 August 2009):
 Well what I am most surprised about is that you said you had all sorts of "sexual fun" but her hymen was still in tact?! How on earth did you manage that? I am going to assume that sexual fun included fingering her, therefore it is massively unlikely that the hymen was still there! And I dont know what you were looking at because its not visible (in most cases!). Women's hymens can break from a very young age, from doing things such as gymnastics, horse riding, using tampons etc. So I dont know how old this woman was when you thought you saw her hymen, but the chances are it wouldnt have still been in tact if she is a similar age to you!
But that is slightly off-topic! If your penis was even just slightly inside her then she can claim that was her losing her virginity, you cant really argue about that! I personally wouldnt think of that as my first time if that was what had happened to me but I guess on technicalities having a penis inside the vagina = not a virgin anymore.
You should just talk to her - say that you dont really see that as being sex because you were just fooling around but if she does feel it was her first time then you are sorry but you dont want a relationship with her. Be honest - it is hard to say and I know you will find it difficult but women just appreciate the truth. There is nothing worse than being led on by a man - so just tell her there is no future for you as a couple because you are not interested in a relationship with her. It is a little brutal but at least she will know where she stands.
I hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 August 2009):
Your penis went in her vagina.
If you met a girl who said she was a virgin and then said, "oh well, he did stick it in me but he wasn't incredibly in the mood at the time, and it was a bit small so it didn't go in very far...." would you still think she was a virgin?
No.
If you are too young to handle the responsibility then do not have sex.
You took her virginity, you have to deal with her.
Yes, it doesn't matter much when it comes to destiny, but you had sex with the girl so you have to talk to her and let her down gently.
Don't try and weasel out of this.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): I am a female aged 37 years. I think that she has to accept responsibility that she went this far with you. Following this, this does not mean that you owe her as these terms were not given prior. That is, she could have said no sex before marriage and not done as she had. I think this is poor communication on her part.
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