A
female
age
36-40,
*poe
writes:I'm in a great long term relationship of 4 years with my boyfriend. He's sweet and loving but recently I've found myself having loving feelings towards someone else. I'm afraid that if i say something to my boyfriend he'll leave me and if i say something to the other person he'll want nothing to do with me. I feel confused and lost what should i do ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 May 2007):
 You will always meet others you're attracted to. That is normal and should be expected to happen. It's OK and doesn't make you bad nor should you feel ashamed. Since you're young and have already been with your guy 4 years, I can understand your confusion. This is an important time in your life to discover where yo want to be. At your age, it would be understandable if you decided to take a break from your current relationship. Be warned though it might not work out !!You have to decide what's best for you. It's much better to do this now as opposed to cheating on your guy after marriage. Believe me, this happens all the time. The feelings you're having WILL come again, even after marriage. We're built that way.
If you were older and already married, I'd suggest putting more time into your marriage. Spice things up and freshen up the romance. That could still apply at your young age too. The fact that you've been with your guy since you were so young though, gives you a valid reason to question your position.
Whatever you decide, finish with on guy BEFORE you start with the next. Make it clean and respectful. Otherwise, everything nice you've done for the last four years will be quickly forgotten.
A
female
reader, Day Day  +, writes (15 May 2007):
 If you are happy with the man you are with, keep it that way. Don't go screwing it up for something you aren't real sure about. By all means don't tell your current bf. Even if you two could talk about anything, you may hurt him and his security in you. When you start having these loving thoughts about the other guy, take them out on your bf. Ya never know, he might appreciate the xtra attention ;-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): dont throw away 4yrs with someone whom is as you say sweet an loving for someone you dont know,seems you ar`nt to happy if thats so go be single for a while and then if you feel your feelings are still there then go for it.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (14 May 2007):
 Ask yourself whether these feelings you are having for this other guy are that of love, or just a five minute lust thing. Only you can work out what these feelings are, but be careful because its so easy to confuse love and lust.
If you think it could be love then you have got to honest and upfront with your boyfriend, otherwise you will just be stringing him along. If you thinks it could just be lust then let it be, in time it will pass.
Good luck x
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