A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need some help as I've fallen for a man who is married with children I see him once a week usually I am a client of where he works. We've known each other for about two years on and off. I keep thinking of him and I saw him the other day When I don't see him I'm sad. I've just come out of a difficult long term relationship. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 If you think your last relationship was difficult you are going from the frying pan into the fire with this married guy. You aren't being very bright, and you aren't being very honorable either. Move on and don't give this idea a second thought.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 If you've just come out of a difficult long term relationship, why would you want to start another difficult relationship? This relationship would be created out of an affair. Would you really want to put his wife and kids through that much pain and break up the family, just so you could have him in your life? That would really be an inappropriate choice.
At this time you're feeling like you need a new realtionship. You probably need time to get your feet back on the ground. Take your time give yourself some space to enjoy being single for a while.
What continues to surprise me is the number of people who actually sit down and deliberate over whether or not they should embark on a mission to interfere with another persons marriage. Perhaps it's just my way of thiniking but when you go down that path, it's an evil choice and when it blows up in the faces of the cheating couple, I feel no compassion. Just as I feel little compassion for people who plan and commit other acts aimed at causing pain. It's all about the proper choices and being able to see past the end of our noses and do what's right, not just whats right for us, at that moment. Quite often our choices affect many people.
Think about positive choices and look for a person who is available. It's not worth going after someone who is willing to abandon his wife and kids. What kind of person would that make him?
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A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (16 May 2007):
 We need to remember that he is MARRIED and has a wife and children. Being that you have come out of a relationship, it is easy to say that you probably are seeing him as a "rebound" because he probably is someone close to you that you deal with because you are his client and you look forward to seeing him once a week. Being said, it probably isn't to healthy right now to focus on meeting someone right now, other then dealing with the pain and sadness of your recent breakup....and dealing with that. Once you "feel" you are ready to move on, then at that point, your eyes should be focused on a SINGLE man. I am sure if you were married you would not want someone having an affair with your husband and/or him meeting up with some other woman. Always remember to put yourself in someone else's shoes. There would be hurt, pain and the suffering of the wife and children if this were to happen. Best thing to do would be to completely get him out of your mind and fill it with time to do things for yourself. This should leave little time to think about him, other then "just" the meeting you have with hime once a week...and strictly focus on the reason why you are meeting up with him. The sadness you feel probably isn't even for him, it probably still has to do with your breakup, you just can't see that right now and have "moved" this married man in it's place to not deal with your REAL sadness. Face those issues first, that's why I said it's probably not healthy right now to be involved with anyone at the moment. Let time heal your wounds and focus on YOU and in time, you will not even give this man a thought. Good Luck to you!!!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (16 May 2007):
 If you've just come out of a relationship it strikes me that this man is probably your rebound guy. Perhaps he represents everything you want? A stable relationship with kids etc... I know how hard unrequited love, even rebound love can be to get over but this man isn't yours to love. You have to forget him and find someone who you can love completely and who is free to love you the same way.
CD
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