A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my fiance are planning our wedding. I've always wanted to get married in a cathedral, and have a ball-gown style dress, and of course marry the man of my dreams. Unfortunately...my mom who would be fronting the bill, can't afford how much the average wedding costs now a days. (My sister who got married 14 years ago, had a 13k budget, and it got her a very very elegant wedding) The same wedding now costs over 30k. My mom is basically telling me, we can't afford it. I wont be able to help pay for the wedding for years as I'm going to Medical School and will have a mountain of debt. The parents of my fiance are very well off, and take us on mini-vacations every month or so, for a weekend. They refuse to help us. I find it really sad that they can spend so much money on just a weekend or clothes, but wont help financially with the wedding. In their mind, we're lucky they may attend. I'm really heartbroken over this. But it seems like there's nothing I can do, and my fiance almost refuses to talk to them at all. What can I do? :(
View related questions:
debt, fiance, heartbroken, money, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): You're really, really frustrated, and I can see why. When you were just a little girl you saw your sister get this huge, beautiful wedding celebration that your family paid for. There's no reason why you would have expected that when the time came you wouldn't get the same. But for some reason, that's not being offered to you. You've been thrown a pretty unkind curveball to say the least.I think this is a good time to ask yourself what YOU really want and value. Forget what your family considers rude - do you really need 100 people at the wedding to be happy? Your sister may have done it but somebody had $13K to drop on her wedding for her and you do not have that same luxury.I don't know what your values are or what the core of your dream really is but here's what I'd be inclined to do:-As someone else said, have a seamstress make a drop-dead gorgeous ball gown for you. You can probably find one locally who will do it for next to nothing...or, knowing that many folks in your family alone, you may even have a creative and talented person somewhere near you who would love to do it for no more than the cost of materials and the ability to put photos in his/her scrapbook or portfolio.-Instead of inviting the 100 or so people who think they've got a right to attend because you're related to them, invite the handful of people who make you smile every time you think of them.-I don't know if it's expensive to have a ceremony in a cathedral or not but my guess would be that you have a beautiful retreat center somewhere near you. In my opinion there is no man-made structure on earth that can compare in beauty and majesty to nature, whether it's a vast desert or a grove of age-old trees.-This is a time for you and your intended so live it up together, to the degree you can reasonably do so. If I were you I think I'd save up three or four grand, have the local seamstress whip up a gorgeous gown, have the closest people in my life watch me marry the man of my dreams in the shelter of centuries-old trees, have an intimate gathering in the banquet room of a nice but reasonably priced restaurant (or at the wedding site itself), then jet off to a heavenly week on Maui.And dear lady, your fiancee's troubles with his family are mostly his to work out. From now on, you and he are the nucleus of your own family; what either of your families of origin have to say is not nearly so important as what you two want for yourselves.I wish you all the best.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 September 2011):
 I'm not asking for a fancy wedding. I've always just wanted a ballgown and a small cathedral. I don't live in NY or Europe, where those are common. I've never imagined anything else but those two things.
--Okay, so you MUST HAVE the ballgown and the cathedral. So you will have to travel, preferably by air, to a town that will offer you the cathedral thing. This will help with the next comment.
Secondly, I have a fairly large family. It's considered rude in my large family to not invite everyone (about 100 people.)
--You can certainly invite them all but the fact that you have suddenly turned into a destination wedding will filter out all but those family member who are close to you.
Our friends and fiance's side only counts for less than half of that. Third, I won't be getting out of school for another 6 years, I've barely even started, and my fiance still lives at home, and also goes to school full-time and won't be getting a job til he graduates. If we were going to pay for it, it would take years.
--So shrink your expectations. You seem to be stuck in the schoolgirl fantasy of a Cinderella style wedding. Isn't that a bit, well, boring? Unimaginative? Change up your paradigm.
Alternatively, you could wait until you are out of school and earning some money. Maybe the economy will have shifted in your favor. Maybe your tastes will have changed by then. Finally, my mother in law is a very nice woman to invite me out to all these mini-vacations and all, but she's slightly crazy.
--If you expect her to pay for your wedding, she will deservedly expect to have input into the planning and execution and if she is slightly crazy, you won't want that.
She doesn't want to attend her own sons wedding because her ex- husband (my fiancee's father) will be there. They've been divorced for 25 years now.
--Looks like there's a history of bitterness there that has nothing whatsoever to do with you. Don't try to understand it, don't try to mitigate it, don't try to manage it. Just leave that to your fiance to deal with. They are his crazy family and he will understand the craziness better than you ever will, even after years of marriage.
I understand that no one is OBLIGATED to pay for my wedding, other than me. It's just really upsetting knowing that weddings have increased 70% in the past 14 years, and I wont be getting anything special like my sister did.
--What makes you think that simply spending a boatload of cash gets you special? Special is giving yourself and your guests great memories and you can do that on the cheap, in fact, the same ol' same ol' that comes out of the wedding industry is really really boring and ho-hum.
I really wish that the mom would help out, simply because she can.
--I really think that if she is as crazy as you think she is, she would then insert her ideas and her aesthetic onto what you and your mother would be planning. It would introduce another cook into the kitchen and I think that would actually be pretty disastrous, as you've made it kind of clear that you don't really much like her or your in-laws to be.
You're in training to be a medical doctor. Do you have any idea how many people would give their right arm to be as fortunate as you are?
I remember planning my wedding. It's really easy to get sucked into all the nonsense that the wedding industry wants you to buy. Pillows for the freakin' rings, give me a BREAK. Favors for the guest, oh come ON. I decided my guests would rather have a great band. I skipped the favors and didn't hear one word about anyone missing the little bags of whatever unnecessary stuff the current wedding thinking had decided was soooo important.
Make it a destination wedding to a town with a cathedral; invite you you want and don't get sucked into the lala-land that is the wedding industry machine. Be smarter than that.
Unless of course, you're just having a vent and getting out those negative feelings? In which case, vent away, but don't expect a whole lot of support for your notion that HIS family should pay for YOUR fantasy, okay?
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 OP, I understand how having childhood dreams thwarted is painful , and anybody is entitled to a good rant, but ... now you are throwing tantrums.
Just because you " believe " that a wedding's costs should be split 50/50 between the families, it does not make it etched in granite. Actually , generally it does not work like this : either you go " modern " and the bride and groom pay out of their own pockets, or you go " classic " and the BRIDE's family shells out the lion's share. To adopt your solution , the other part should agree , but if it does not agree , that in your mind means they are cheap or crazy ? Isn't that a bit drastic ? Maybe they just have different values and priorities, or ideas about wedding planning .
You think that your MIL should shell 15000 USD to wine and dine your extended family of onehundredd some, just because " she can ". But maybe she thinks that " you can " too : you CAN pare down the invitation list, or you CAN have just finger food served, who's stopping you ? This just to say that CAN and MUST are two very different things.
Anyway, since the absolute "MUST HAVE " are only two- cathedral and ballgown- I can't see how this is going to be a big problem moneywise.
I did get married in a cathedral and my friends too, as far as I remember it's not like renting a ballroom, they just ask you an "offer " for the church, which customarily is in the extent of few hundreds.
As for the ballgown, unless you want a Valentino original just out of the atelier, there are so many possibilities :
buy luxury vintage, contact fashion maisons for their runway samples, rent it , have it sewn by any no logo but competent seamstress, wait for sales season ( twice a year ) in large bridal saloons , buy a white, ivory, off white evening dress in a department store then personalize it with Swarovski or beads or whatnot, visit fashion outlets for last year's collection ... the gown does not need to be a problem unless you mean either the newest Vera Wang or nothing.
Focus on the positive, with a little flexibility ,enterprise and creativity , you can still put together a very nice ceremony.
...............................
A
female
reader, KittenPaws  +, writes (22 September 2011):
One idea occurred to me that I understand that weddings can actually be much cheaper in different countries. For example, a work colleague once explained that they'd found it far cheaper to host their wedding in Spain than in the UK, and that doing so enabled them to celebrate in comparative luxury.If you can't find anywhere affordable in cheap-flight distance, however, it might not be feasible to expect all of your guests to travel. But could you hold a very low key/ 'formal' / legal ceremony for the family at home, and then hold a much smaller ceremony in the style you'd dream of in a cheaper location incorporated into your honeymoon? -It might take a lot of searching around, but it's worth looking into prices if it could help. Perhaps you might even include your mother in law in the other ceremony than your father in law. That way she might be far more interested in helping you to organise you big day! Treat it as one humanitarian ceremony and one actual legal service, but make sure everyone can be involved as much or as little as they would like and can afford?
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 September 2011):
 I've been married three times
1. big wedding lots of folks. marriage ended after 7 years
2. court house wedding... marriage ended a few years later
3. big wedding (the groom's first) marriage ended after 6 years
WEDDINGS do NOT make the marriage....
IF you want a fairy tale wedding and your mommy can't afford it, then you save for it. Traditionally it was the bride's family that paid for the wedding.... but that was when there was a bride price and marriages were business deals.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): I'm not asking for a fancy wedding. I've always just wanted a ballgown and a small cathedral. I don't live in NY or Europe, where those are common. I've never imagined anything else but those two things. Secondly, I have a fairly large family. It's considered rude in my large family to not invite everyone (about 100 people.) Our friends and fiance's side only counts for less than half of that. Third, I won't be getting out of school for another 6 years, I've barely even started, and my fiance still lives at home, and also goes to school full-time and won't be getting a job til he graduates. If we were going to pay for it, it would take years. Finally, my mother in law is a very nice woman to invite me out to all these mini-vacations and all, but she's slightly crazy. She doesn't want to attend her own sons wedding because her ex- husband (my fiancee's father) will be there. They've been divorced for 25 years now. I understand that no one is OBLIGATED to pay for my wedding, other than me. It's just really upsetting knowing that weddings have increased 70% in the past 14 years, and I wont be getting anything special like my sister did. I really wish that the mom would help out, simply because she can. And personally, I would help out with my future son/daughters wedding because I believe everything should be 50/50. The point is, I dont want to even go with them on vacations anymore because I see them blow so much money, when my family is suffering financially. AND THEY LOOK DOWN ON US. It's not right, and it's not fair :( I just wanted to rant, not ask anyone for any money for my wedding. I know my post came out wrong.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (21 September 2011):
While I personally cringe at the idea of spending 30000 USD for ,basically, throwing a party- I see that the OP is rather taking a beating and , in spirit of fairness, I want to try and play devil's advocate.
First, if one wants to go traditional, white gown, sit down dinner and all, it makes sense going traditional all the way . Tradition says that the bride and groom 's families pay for everything, much more, alas, the girl's family, while the man's family is only supposed to take care of a few odds and ends, but yes, it's nothing unheard of or weird or crazy that the costs of a formal, traditional wedding are sustained by the families ( nowadays, if people had to do all by themselves, they'd be in their late 40s before they can afford it ).
Second, it sounds like her mother's did cough up for the OP's sister's wedding , so she may now not be in position to give the OP the exact equivalent ,but I think the mom is the first one who should - and wants !- to be concerned about this disparity of treatment, and reduce the gap as much as possible.
That still does not solve the situation, since your fiance's family does not wish to help, and alas there's nothing to do. Even the strictest wedding etiquette ( which anyway would bind them to a minor contribution than yours )is a suggestion, not a law; basically , everybody is entitled to do what they want with their own money, and to have different spending priorities. Deciding what other people should spent their money on is invasive ,inappropriate,ungracious and ultimately an exercise in futility. So, don't insist with your fiancee' to bring up the subject with them.
You have been given already lots of excellent suggestions for helping you to have a fantastic wedding even on a minor scale and a lower budget. I'll add my 2 cents :
elope. But make it a luxury,jet-set elopement.
Go get married,just the two of you, on a beach in the Maldives, or the Seychelles, or somewhere in the Caribbeans. There are many agencies that organize these weddings, visit a travel agency, or research on line. What do you care about feeding 200 third cousins anyway ? splurge on a fantastic dress, have great pictures taken, enjoy an exotic romantic honeymoon, and when you come back make everybody green with envy.
...............................
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Postpone the wedding, finish school and work towards saving up enough to pay for the wedding yourself. Your mother isn't obligated to pay for anything, the least you could do is be considerate of the fact that she just doesn't have the money to fund your every wish for this wedding. As the others here have said, she's doing a HUGE favor for you just by offering to pay for it all, and in the grand scheme of things a lavish wedding isn't everything. There are more important things in life to worry about than that, and it seems you need to gain a bit more perspective before even thinking about getting married, otherwise you'll be sorely disappointed with your married life after the big day is over.
As for ways to cut down the cost a bit, have you considered renting your dress instead of buying one? I know some people are sentimental about their wedding dress, but since money is an issue in your case, it would be better than paying thousands of dollars for a dress you can only wear once in your life. Also, why not scale down the guest list a bit? Cutting your expenses here and there can really add up, and you'll still be able to afford a beautiful ceremony. The key is to compromise a little and keep your budget in mind.
...............................
A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (21 September 2011):
 The 'norm' these days is to pay for your wedding yourselves. I did with mine. If your mother can help you, that is wonderful of her - but I think it's extremely SHALLOW of you to expect her to pay for what you want - which is one big fat expensive wedding.Downscale.In regards to the in-laws, they do enough for you. You shouldn't expect them to pay for anything more, if they want to, it's a bonus, but if you are being too push, which it sounds like, then you get what you deserve -nothing.You and your fiance should quit wingeing at everyone and start saving.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Girl, you say you want to be a doctor - but has it occurred to you, for a second, that there are people out there who are dying right now? People who are watching their kids, sick in hospital, who would give anything to get well again? In the grand scheme of things, this is not even a dilemma! First of all, the wedding is just a day. The marriage is forever. Getting married is not about swanning around in some ball gown, it's about love and care and affection FOR LIFE! It's as much about the sickness and the health, and as much about the poorer as the richer. The fact that you are so upset about this makes me question your priorities a little. Secondly, you're actually jeopardizing your relationship with your future in-laws by even asking them to pay - it sounds like they are being more than generous entertaining you already! You have no right to be angry with them for not funding your dreams. Why on earth should they pay for some juvenile fantasy of a wedding? Get in the real world!Thirdly, why on earth do you expect other people to pay? If your mother is struggling for money, surely the kindest thing you can do as a daughter is to make the burden of your wedding as light as possible? Someone who can drive their family into poverty for a dress and a tiara has their priorities seriously screwed. Why not postpone the wedding until you're through med school? You'll then be earning a decent wage, and you'll be able to pay for the perfect day yourself - AND feel good that you're not burdening your family. Once you've seen some sick, poor people in hospital, and grown with the realization that there are more important things in life than pageboy outfits, you might find your priorities change a bit. Alternatively, you can still have the wedding of your dreams, even on a tight budget. But it means putting in some hard graft. You can buy beautiful designer dresses, worn just once, for a fraction of their original cost on ebay. Ditto for bridesmaids outfits. You can ask friends for help with invite design, flowers, photography, etc. You can make your own favours. You can cut a lot of corners, save your family a lot of cost, and no-one will be any the wiser.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Your fiance's parents arent obligated to you in any way. Just because they take you on fancy vacations doesn't mean they have to chip in for YOUR dream wedding!Its nice of them as it is to do whatever they are doing. What if you were in their place? Would you be willing to help your daughter-in-law if she had some rosy, romantic idea for a wedding but couldnt afford it? In all probability, NO.Its her idea, her life, let her do it herself.
The thing is,you've started expecting stuff from them. They're doing you a favour by taking you on fancy vacations, its not something they are expected to do. Treat it as a favor to be returned some day, instead of expecting more and more.They can do whatever they want with their money and no one can or should question them on that.
Moreover,if you want a fancy wedding,pay for it yourself.If you cant, then come down to whatever your mom can afford and accept it gracefully. It might be a romantic dream for you, but it might turn out to be a nightmare for your mom to foot the tab and then spend sleepless nights worrying about payments.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): Congratulations on your engagement.Welcome to your first problem as a couple. I'm sure you'll get through it fine, especially when you remember that the way the two of you solve this problem will set the template for future tougher problems.It seems to me that the trick with this problem is to decide what you really want and to do that one thing, with everything else being cheap, cheerful and great fun. In short, what does "cathedral wedding" mean for you.If it is actually getting a Minister in a Cathedral to say "you may now kiss" then the hire costs of churches aren't massive.If it is actually the clothes then look at theatre hire shops. Maybe outfit everyone. And since you are hiring, maybe as dapper Victorians, or Arabesque, or ...The absolute best wedding I ever went to was one where the couple decided that what they most wanted was a Reception with their friends.It was held in a marque in their backyard. His suit and her dress were loaned by married friends. Catering was done by a spit roast firm. People had to bring their own drinks: a bottle of champers for the toasts and whatever quantity they wanted of their usual poison. The flowers were from my garden -- I was poor and the planting and care of the hundreds and hundreds of flowers was my present to them. Their honeymoon was at their house -- they left the wedding, were driven around the block, and arrived at their front door. We'd set up a Reception desk, acted the part of hotel staff, and gave them a huge cardboard key to their room. We'd even stocked a minibar in their room, complete with a faked-up price list, each item saying $0.00.In short, they acknowledged that things had to be done on the cheap and then they set about finding the most inventive ways to make that as much fun as possible. That's why people remember their wedding -- it was a huge amount of fun. No one cares that the trestle tables and chairs were loaned from the football club, everyone remembers that they were each covered with different tablecloths (because they were the cheap ends of rolls) with the most amazing switchwork animals (both the gift of another poor friend). Even a $30,000 wedding can't afford hand-stitched tablecloths -- not spending much often doesn't mean as much going without as you think.The most amazing thing was that all of this inventiveness and asking favours and making-do was much, much less hassle than the usual wedding arrangement. In a odd way it also seemed much more traditional -- how weddings must have been done back in the day of villages and small communities.
...............................
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Well I am gonig through a similar situation. Although I do have a very different outlook on it. My parents are in dire financial straits right now. They helped my sister out with her wedding years ago, now they can't help me with mine at all. I accepted this. My fiancee's parents don't have a lot of money either, though I would never expect them to pay for my "dream wedding". I guess it is partly because I do things within my means and partly because I accept my situation without whining about it, but I decided on having a smaller wedding that we are paying for ourselves. I never thought wasting a lot of money on a wedding was worth it anyhow. The average wedding being over 20k is pretty outrageous.
What we decided to do was determine what was important to us for the big day. Like what was worth the extra money for and what wasn't. Photographer important to him, dress and make up important to me, neither cared about big reception, and so on. I decided I wanted to do Vegas if there was a nice chapel that was elegant (no cheap, tacky Elvis stuff). I'm pretty big on keeping things nice looking without breaking the bank for it. So we found a very sweet chapel. And you basically make your own wedding day, adding what you want and taking off what you don't. Which turned out great for us because we didn't want all the planning and hassle that goes into a big wedding, and the wedding planner plans it all there. In essence I have picked out everything for my own perfect wedding day, a limo, ball gown dress, chapel, photographer, everything I wanted for a price we can actually do. We also plan to go to a restaurant with a banquet room and have a mini reception there, nothing huge but good food, and an excuse to wear my dress as long as possible :) We had both decided that a big fancy reception with a caterer wasn't important to either of us, we want it small and not over the top. So we both get what we want and aren't getting help from anyone else. Altogether we went cheaper on the rings than most, average amount spent on dress, TONS saved on ceremony and reception, and I feel completely thrilled with everything we are getting. It's probably going to be around 4k for the whole thing, including plane tickets. I think it is about accepting your situation, deciding what is important to you, and finding out how to make it happen without depending on other people. Also just making it your own.
If you really can't do without the huge wedding then you should wait until you are able to do it together. It has never been the groom's parent's job to pay for a wedding, nor should you expect anything from people anyway. If you get help then great! But you should be able to do it on your own too. Thinking they should pay and complaining that they can't won't get you far. At the end of the day it is your wedding and their money, and their choice what to do with it. Your dream wedding is no one's responsibility than your own. The love between you and the rest of your life together should be the most important part anyway... A 30k wedding is just an extravagent display for everyone else. Good luck with the wedding plans and congrats on the engagement.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 September 2011):
His parents aren't responsible for fulfilling your childhood dreams, alas. They have their own dreams, which they are funding for themselves, I assume? I mean, your fiance's grandparents aren't funding their life, vacations, paying their bills and all that?
I'd say you could certainly afford a cathedral and the ballgown, you just wouldn't be able to afford the meals for hundreds of guests. So if you want the cathedral and ballgown, go for it. Just scale back the number of guests to maybe 20 or 30, and do the wedding on a Friday or mid-week. That is usually cheaper.
Your alternative choice is to quit medical school and give up THAT dream to fund the one day of your wedding. Hm. That sounds like a poor trade-off. Perhaps that will help you decide which is more important in the long run?
Time to get creative. You can have a great and memorable wedding without breaking the bank.
Good luck to you and congratulations on finding the dream guy and your bright future as an MD. Remember this when it comes time to fund your son's wedding!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): You stop asking, you start saving, and you plan a wedding you can afford.
You can always have a lavish vow renewel ceremony later in life to make up for not having a lavish ceremony now.
Have you ever even sent a proper thank you card or gift after these 'mini vacations' his parents bring you on? If not, you may be coming across as an ungrateful and possibly greedy individual.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 September 2011):
 I get it. Parents pay for their kids. And that's great, if these kids appreciate it rather than EXPECT it, like you do. Just listen to yourself and your expectations, you want this and that and this and that and mommy needs to pay the lot. How horrible if she can't. Or? Really?
You have no right to complain. You are a very lucky woman who's mother has offered to help pay for her wedding (that's NOT to be expected). Your boyfriends parents doesn't owe it to you or him to pay for anything they don't feel like paying for. Their money. They do what they please with it. Same goes for your mom, it's her money, she gets to spend it how she likes. You have no say in that. If the prices went up, and you want something expensive, well then you have to be an adult and not cry for it, but work for it. Save up money. Marry at a later date. Or suck it up, be creative, and have a smaller wedding.
Reality check: parents don't always pay for everything you know! Only rich parents who have spoiled their children do that sort of thing. You can not be complaining about what really is a benefit, without it making you sound both arrogant and spoiled. I hope you are neither, and that this was just an outburst of irrational thoughts.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (20 September 2011):
 At the end of the day, nobody is obliged to pay for your wedding except you and your fiance.
It'd be nice if they helped out, but they owe you nothing and pushing the issue through your fiance probably isn't going to help. So either delay the wedding or scale it down.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 September 2011):
 Honestly, I've never understood the point of a wedding costing as much as a very nice new car or a down payment on a house. I know it's sad, but it's just a few hours one day. Do you want to remember the financial burden that day was, or how you had a special day devoted to your love together?
As for comparing what they spend their money on... A mini vacation on the weekend is NOT the same as $30,000 on a party. My guess is your fiancé isn't willing to talk to them more about it because he doesn't think you should spend that much on a wedding when you can't afford it. What they choose to spend their own money on is their choice. It doesn't matter if they want to go spend $200,000 on a diamond encrusted purse, they aren't obligated to basically in essence give you a $30,000 gift and it doesn't make them bad people.
I don't mean to be harsh, but you need to fit this into your own budget. You shouldn't be getting angry at your family or his family, you two need to find ways to cut costs and make this fit within budget. You don't want to put yourself farther debt for just one day. The amount you spend doesn't have anything to do with how much you love each other or how lovely the wedding is.
Here are some money saving ideas: You can get your beautiful ball gown dress on Craigslist for a huge discount (they're only worn once, or something not at all) and then get it fitted. I've seen everything from really cheap looking stuff to Vera Wang, you just have to search around. Or even Salvation Army usually has an ENORMOUS collection of wedding dresses. I once saw the most amazing vintage lace covered ballgown for $25. It was stunning and no one would ever think it was second hand. Instead of hiring pricey wedding photographers find some talented college students to do it and put disposable cameras at all the guest tables. Have the reception somewhere meaningful to you. The most beautiful wedding reception I've ever seen was in a park where they strung up linen as a canopy and put christmas lights on top of them. Must have cost less than $50 to do and was spectacular. You just have to be creative.
I think you're missing the point of getting married a bit. It's not so you can have a fairy tale wedding, it's so you can spend your life with someone you love. The wedding is just a way to honor that commitment.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 September 2011):
 I guess you'll just have to scale down on your wedding plans. I also think a big expensive wedding is a waste of money anyway. A small but tasteful wedding can be so lovely.And since you can't/won't be helping with the cost, then I would add that beggars can't be choosers.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): Why are your or his parents obligated to pay? You and your fiance can save up for your own wedding!! You are grown ups now and not dependent on your parents.
...............................
|
