A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidHad a fight with my bf of 2 years, since he blocked me from his facebook, saying like I am disturbing him often in chat. Got angry and we had a fight and after that he never called me, I tried to reach him after 3 days, he now says he moved on and found a girl with whom he is interested in. It really hurts, since I did everything for him. Cooked for him, gave him money whenver he needed, its like he took a free ride and now wants to be out once he found what he wanted. I invested a lot in him in these 2 years, don’t know how to move on. I literally begged him yesterday to take me back, he was very cruel and cold and saying like I am very bad in bed and I look ugly, he tried his best to put with me for the last 2 years, now he cannot do this anymore. I never really had a good selfesteem to begin with and all the things he is saying about me makes my skin crawl. Please help me
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facebook, money, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (3 October 2011):
 You did things for him because you wanted to do them,not because he pointed a gun to your head and made you do stuff for him. You've just made yourself too available in your efforts to please him.
Look, sometimes relationships workout and sometimes they dont. Its nothing to do with YOU, maybe you two just didnt click, or so he thought. Please dont ever beg a man to take you back, you're too good for that! Agreed you gave this relationship all you had, but it didnt work out and now you need to move on and never look back at him. Its entirely his loss. Dont ever remind him of all that you've done; not only will it make you look horribly needy and clingy and desperate, it will also not have any effect on him. He remembers all that very well, he just chooses to ignore it. He's being bitter and he's just trying to hurt you, hoping you'll back off if he spits venom.
Stop trying to get him back. Don't take this break-up personally.You had a life before you met him, and you'll have a better one now.
A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (3 October 2011):
He said all that? Please, he's not someone who deserves to be with you! I'm not saying this to make you feel better, its true. You deserve a man who will love you for you. It hurts to move on from a long term relationship, but you will manage. Dont beg him anymore, just take him out of your life. Focus your life on other things and hobbies, spend time with friends or family. Dont be alone, it will depress you more. Time is the best healer. I wish you a quick recovery!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 October 2011):
 This is a painful time for you, but instead of simply patting you on the back and saying 'there, there' I encourage you to try and look at the events that led up to this a little differently.
It sounds like you did a lot for your ex boyfriend, cooking for him, giving him money and probably doing a variety of other favours. Could it be that by doting on him as you did you were actually smothering him?
He accused you of often disurbing him in chat. I assume he meant that you expected to have his undivided attention from the moment he signed on. Could there be any truth to this?
It was rather cruel of him to say what he did, but begging is very pushy and aggressive. Clearly you weren't accepting 'no' for an answer. Is it possible he used cruelty as a last resort to get you to back off? Were you listening to what he said before he got nasty?
The fact that you were overly generous with your time and resources does not automatically mean you were right and he was wrong. People will often use doting as a means of controlling someone else and rely on the recipient to feel too guilty to challenge them.
If you want to be appreciated for what you do then you must do it in moderation. Bombarding someone with favours and affection crowds them and breeds resentment. A hungry person will appreciate food you offer them. A person who has just eaten a 7 course meal will not.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (3 October 2011):
He sounds like a jerk! Why would you want him back? You deserve better and don't give him ANY more power. He wanted out if he could move on so quickly.
I know it's hard to understand, but you are better off without him in the long run. The best medicine for your wounded heart and bruised ego is to try to erase him. Don't contact him, block him from being able to text you, etc. Pretend he died.
Then, go and get a makeover of sorts. New haircut, a free makeup lesson at mall cosmetics store, a new outfit. Improve yourself and pamper yourself. Go out with friends. When you are ready, maybe sign up for a dating website?
Remember that there is someone out there who will see your true beauty - inside and out!
xoxo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2011): If you don't want to hear,don't listen.Don't contact him forget him.
He sounds a nasty piece of work and you are well rid of him.Hes used you like a doormat then moved on.
Yes it will hurt you,badly, you did so much for him, but what did you get in return?
You need to take one day at a time, talk to your friends,they will help you to see you have had a lucky escape. Eat ice cream, cry, whatever but do not take to heart what one man has said about you,he did it to hurt you and its worked.
Good luck x
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