| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I loaned my friends some money for a film project and I've not heard from them since! What should I do?
Q. I've been financially double crossed by friends and I need advice on what to do now. Some background: in september I was apart in a project for a film festival where you make a short film in 2 days and enter it before the deadline ends. The team w...
A. 16 March 2012: Yeah!!! I am so happy for you OP! It feels like a personal victory! :)
I am really happy you went for it and just goes to show that you should give as good as you get when the situation demands it. Whether or nor she keeps in touch with you is n... (read in full...)
I loaned my friends some money for a film project and I've not heard from them since! What should I do?
Q. I've been financially double crossed by friends and I need advice on what to do now. Some background: in september I was apart in a project for a film festival where you make a short film in 2 days and enter it before the deadline ends. The team w...
A. 15 March 2012: You did the right thing. I know its not something you wanted to do, but you have to take the bull by the horns, if the damn bull doesn't pay up! Just don't budge till the money is paid. Your friends are really insolent and this is the only way to ... (read in full...)
I loaned my friends some money for a film project and I've not heard from them since! What should I do?
Q. I've been financially double crossed by friends and I need advice on what to do now. Some background: in september I was apart in a project for a film festival where you make a short film in 2 days and enter it before the deadline ends. The team w...
A. 17 February 2012: Good for you OP!! I'm so glad you didn't give in! Never, ever let such people get the better of you and always give as good as you get.
Now keep pursuing her, remind her that you have already given her the receipts and she should not act funny an... (read in full...)
How can I wriggle out of this dating situation safely?
Q. I have been going out with a certain guy for the past few days, kissed him and have found that we have no chemistry. He is incredibly caring, wonderful and protective and I know he genuinly feels for me. However, I don't enjoy kissing him. In ...
A. 10 February 2012: There's no easy way of doing this. Treat it like ripping off a band aid. The more you elongate the process, the more its going to hurt.
Remember OP, you cant please everyone in life and you shouldn't even try to. And you don't have to feel bad... (read in full...)
Maybe I do lack empathy but has my girlfriend's moaning gone beyond the norm?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together 3 years, living together for one. We have good times, we have a healthy relationship in most aspects, but by god there is a problem. She moans and whinges and goes hysterical on a fairly regular basis. ...
A. 9 February 2012: Your G/f has become too comfortable in the relationship and she's taken you for granted. She doesn't give a damn about what you think, its all about her. Her day, her life, her whims, her fancies, her mood swings. You need to put your foot down OP, ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my ex!
Q. I'm happily engaged to a man who loves me. I do love him, more than I love anyone else in the world. (With the exception of my little brothers) He gives me everything I ever wanted and any normal person wouldn't be on a relationship forum ...
A. 9 February 2012: To some extent, its natural to want what you cant have. All of us crave for the forbidden, something that's out of reach, whether we admit or or not. That's the case with your ex. The fact that he's treated you like crap and has been an ass makes ... (read in full...)
A guy online sends me raunchy messages. Should I stop talking to him?
Q. Ok so i met this guy in a Chatroom and he seems really nice but he's 21 and I'm 16 he texts me kind of raunchy stuff like where he wants to have sex with me but I told him I'm a virgin and he lives in NY and Im in Ohio he says he wants to hook up ...
A. 8 February 2012: Are you really that naive? I wouldnt even call that naive, that's just stupid. How can you fall for someone who calls you hun and honey?!! Are you really so silly that you think these words imply love?!! And why are you discussing your virginity and ... (read in full...)
I'm in a horrible, controlling relationship, and I want to get out, but I cant!
Q. Okay. So this is going to be quite long but here goes. .... Iv been with my boyfriend 3 years. We live together. I love him, and iv got strong beliefs about relationships, I'm not the kind of person to just walk out on them. I'm by no means perfect. ...
A. 8 February 2012: Run. Run. RUN.
This guy is a nightmare and the sooner you get out of this relationship the better it is for you. I'm uncomfortable just reading about this! He's crazy, obsessive, his behavior is dangerous and he can hurt you. Its not somethin... (read in full...)
Affair with husband's brother, and husband is okay with it.
Q. My brother-in-law (husband's brother) and I have started to engage in an affair. It started about a month ago. Initially after we first had sex, he was feeling so guilty that he said he never wanted it to happen again. I also felt guilty for what ...
A. 8 February 2012: You know, I feel bad for you for having such a husband. What you did was wrong. Horribly wrong. However, I'm appalled at your husband's reaction to this entire mess!! How can a man ALLOW his wife to screw his own brother!! I mean come ON!! The ... (read in full...)
My 27 year old schoolmate is dating a 79 year old billionaire. Isn't this a sign of complete materialism? Or am I an idealistic idiot?
Q. I saw a question posted here the other day that got me thinking about a schoolmate of mine who is a lovely looking lass of 27, an aspiring actress, dating a 79-year-old billionaire. ok im not a complete moron i know that money makes the world ...
A. 8 February 2012: It could be materialism. It could also have blossomed into love, with the money acting as the catalyst, of course. Who cares! Its her life, why be judgmental? ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 5 years and never had sex so now he's leaving me
Q. please help.Ihave been with my boyfriend for five years and we have never had sex.resently he stopped calling and texting me and i when i asked him,he said if he doesn't get it from me,where do i expect him to get it from? however when i told him ...
A. 8 February 2012: I'll answer each question of yours at a time.
"Was I mean to make him wait for five years?" NO. Sex is your choice, *your* decision and whether you want to have it or not, is entirely up to *you*. You don't owe this guy anything,you are not obli... (read in full...)
She won't talk to me after our fight. What do I do? I don't want to be a stalker, but I don't want to lose everything just because I blew up!
Q. Had a row with a girl I been seeing fortnight ago. She had been promising me to meet but kept cancelling or puttin me off. Told her how much it bothered me but she kept doin it. So I got very frustrated and blew up, saying it was over between us and ...
A. 7 February 2012: Well Berne, you've done all you can, and now there's nothing else to do that wont make you look stalkerish.
She doesnt seem to be just that into you. Sorry, but you may have to accept that sooner or later.
She's been putting off dates, cance... (read in full...)
My daughter is planning on having IVF with her partner, but I know they are unhappy and she has been having an affair. What can I do in this situation?
Q. my daughter is soon to be forty and has decided to have ivf with her partner of 6 years. it appears that for the last 4 years she has been having an affair.her partner is manipulative and calculating and i think he knows what has been going on her ...
A. 7 February 2012: You cant do anything OP; as difficult as it is, you have no choice but to let her do what she wants and just watch the drama unfold.
Here's why.
She's an adult and can turn around and tell you to keep out of her business and not interfere. ... (read in full...)
Shall I deny I kissed this other guy? Especially when my guy realizes who the other guy is?
Q. I'm involved with a guy we'll call him X It's been going on a little over a year now. But I'm sure the end is near. This past weekend his friend Y had a house warming. Y invited my friend who he's been seeing for a few months now. Im not a fan of...
A. 7 February 2012: Tell him. Its going to blow up soon and its better he hears it from you that anyone else. In any case you've mentioned at the beginning of your post that you know that you and X are nearing the end of your relationship, this would just hasten the ... (read in full...)
I loaned my friends some money for a film project and I've not heard from them since! What should I do?
Q. I've been financially double crossed by friends and I need advice on what to do now. Some background: in september I was apart in a project for a film festival where you make a short film in 2 days and enter it before the deadline ends. The team w...
A. 7 February 2012: You shouldnt just let this go. These cheapskates do not have an iota of decency left in them, and when you do get your money back, make sure that's the last you see of them.
Your silence has been taken as your weakness and they feel that since yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has no hygiene and no self esteem! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. One of the problems I have with our relationship is that over the past couple of years he has turned into an epic slob. He doesn't just leave a disaster wherever he goes-- He does not brush his ...
A. 7 February 2012: You are right OP, these could be signs of depression and he does need help. Either that or he's just a slob who couldn't be *bleep* bothered about anything! Its not fair to you to have to put up with all this. You're not his mom and its not your... (read in full...)
How do I respond to the fact that everyone he know is commenting on our relationship? People I haven't even met!
Q. Should i be worried about this ?. I am dating this guy, and one of his friends sent me a message once saying " Hi. ( The name if the guy i am dating ) can't wait to see you again. I think he is in love ". This friend also sent me another message ...
A. 4 February 2012: This guy sounds like a pain OP. Sorry I'm trying not to be judgmental here but its all out there.
He sounds very clingy.
He has advertised your relationship all over the place and because of the way he has projected you, he has given his fr... (read in full...)
My ex husband's fiancée posted a picture of our LEGAL divorce decree ON FACEBOOK
Q. Gang, I am MORTIFIED. I am not thrilled or happy about my divorce... it's a failure on my part and it is what it is. I don't need or WANT to shout from the rooftops I'm divorced (yet again). I just got a text from a friend of mine congratulat...
A. 2 February 2012: Dont react directly to the picture SVC, just get legal help. Also, I think you can write to FB saying that your privacy has been violated by your ex's account. I dont know how long they take to act upon it, but do everything you can. But most ... (read in full...)
Husband confessed to having sex with a prostitute 3 years back during an official trip. Now he has a trip to Bangkok coming up and I'm horrified at the thought of letting him go!
Q. Some 3 years back my husband had sex with a prostitute on an official trip abroad, he back and confessed too but since then I cannot trust him and I am constantly living under the fear that sooner or later he will do it again. How can I start trus...
A. 1 February 2012: What are the circumstances that have led you to continue in the marriage despite the cheating? Is it the cultural context of your country and society? Does your family know about this?
OP you have to realize something here. If a man wants to cheat... (read in full...)
Urgent! I snooped through my boyfriend's phone and now his mother says I have to tell him right away
Q. Hello, I really need some advice/help fast my as boyfriends mom tells me Im running out of time..JOY! Ok heres what happenned, I live with my boyfriend and his mom for the last 6months. We've had our ups and downs..Im having some stuggles due to f...
A. 1 February 2012: OP what you want from him is completely understandable, its a human need and all over the world people long and crave for the same things, everlasting love and companionship. Just make sure that you person you want this from is capable of giving you ... (read in full...)
Urgent! I snooped through my boyfriend's phone and now his mother says I have to tell him right away
Q. Hello, I really need some advice/help fast my as boyfriends mom tells me Im running out of time..JOY! Ok heres what happenned, I live with my boyfriend and his mom for the last 6months. We've had our ups and downs..Im having some stuggles due to f...
A. 31 January 2012: Tell him before the mom does, because by the sounds of it, she will. Tell him upfront that you made the mistake of checking his phone and told his sister-in-law and she sneaked on you. You are sorry and you would never do something like this again. ... (read in full...)
We have two children together. He's my fiance. Should I forgive him for kissing my younger sister?
Q. so my younger sister confessed to me that my fiance kissed her!! she seemed pretty upset and she didn't know how to tell me she said she pushed him away and told him that was wrong and was freaking out. he told me he didn't know what he was th...
A. 31 January 2012: This couldnt have been the first time this has happened OP, I'm dead sure this guy has been up to tricks earlier.
Assuming you're 21 and already have 2 kids, how are you supporting them? What is this guy's contribution in your lives? You haven't ... (read in full...)
His codependency is slowly killing me.
Q. I'm in a relationship I don't see any future in and honestly I don't want to be in the relationship at all anymore. I'm 21 years old and I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 years come this April. The saddest part is I have told my boyfriend this ...
A. 31 January 2012: You've been dating this boy since you were 16, and so you he pretty much someone you have grown up with and whose presence you have grown comfortable to, which is why you cannot seem to let go of him. But you must, because this relationship has run ... (read in full...)
He's my ex and he still checks me out all the time. Why does he do this still? His Gf hates me.
Q. My ex and I share a lot of history, we were best friends for a year and liked each other for a lot, a year after we hugged for the first time and hung out as well with friends. Few months later we had our first kiss and first sex and it was very pas...
A. 29 January 2012: He is still not over you and still likes you...a LOT! perhaps that is the reason why he hasnt been able to stick with one particular girl. the very reason why he started dating in the first place was because he wanted to make you feel jealous, so ... (read in full...)
I'm so keen to find somebody I scare them away on the first date!
Q. to get straight to the point- i get too carried away about girls on the 1st date that im left gutted when they dont want a second. I work in a very male dominated industry and all my friends are couples. i have lots of interests and am always bu...
A. 29 January 2012: Stop pinning all your hopes on your dates. Dont see every date as a potential long term thing, just treat it as a date. It doesnt necessarily have to turn into something romantic, you might just end up finding a really good friend in the girl. Just ... (read in full...)
Is my ex FWB (who now has a girlfriend) suggesting something? What did the kiss on my neck mean?
Q. He and i were fwb in the past but we're just friends now. I went to see him at his place because he's going away for a month and we wanted to see each other before he left. We've always been pretty flirty around each other but nothing has happened ...
A. 27 January 2012: Yep, he's suggesting sex. That's what the kiss and the text means. To say he's disgusting is an understatement, because he seems to have zero morals. You do know what "do something"when he gets back means, right? You cant be that naive!
He's ... (read in full...)
Our living situation is getting to my wife. I endure her regular tantrums. Do I change our whole lifestyle and income due to her whim?
Q. I am 41 and I have been married to my wife for 19 years. We have no children. We bought this house in a large suburb (120K people) 10 years ago. It's near the mountains and we get a lot of wildlife. There are lots of trees, too, and you'd never know...
A. 26 January 2012: Your wife is depressed OP. On the outside it seems hard to believe so, because she is in an enviable place, a place most women would die to be in. But sometimes depression sets in for various reasons, repressed anger, lack of self worth, etc., and ... (read in full...)
Have I hurt my Bf's self esteem? I'm shy and got worried I'd do something wrong during making out, so stopped him going further.
Q. My boyfriend and I are both each others first relationship. We have not gone farther then kissing. In the past few days, things heated up between us. He kept telling me to do only what I was comfortable with. The first time this happened, ...
A. 26 January 2012: Oh Puhleez!! He didnt want to guilt you any anything?! The fact that he said that and then was "hurt"" is enough of a guilt trip for you. He knows you are naive and he's not hurt or anything, he's just upset he's not getting any action.
Look ... (read in full...)
I've been sleeping with a boy who has a G/f and I'm starting to like him
Q. Hey, I know this is wrong but iv been sleeping with this boy which has a gf. We have been meeting up now and then for the last 4 months, and I admit it is just sex, but I'm starting to like him. I know it's wrong and shouldn't have done it but...
A. 26 January 2012: Well the boy obviously has no morals so in any case its a no win situation for you. You're sleeping for him while he has a G/f, he's getting all the pleasure while you are falling for him and the risk of possible STIs', because he obviously has ... (read in full...)
While we were broken up, we both hooked up with other people. Now that we're back together, I cant bear to think of her doing something with someone else!
Q. My girlfriend of 11 months and I broke up around Halloween of last year. We were having issues, I liked her more than she liked me, and I felt I was the only one putting forth effort in the relationship. We were both obviously upset by the ...
A. 26 January 2012: " I do not want to think of my girl pleasuring some other dude".
What about the fact that some other girl pleased YOU? I'm sorry I cant be nice about this...I mean, its ok for you, but its not ok for her to do it? And like you are perfect?... (read in full...)
What's wrong with sexting someone else while in a committed relationship?
Q. why is sexting (sending racy/sexually suggestive texts and FB messages) wrong? I can't see a problem with it and have been sexting an ex-colleague who i have no intention of seeing in reality. My gf of 6 months (who i love and am serious about) ...
A. 26 January 2012: Its as good as cheating on someone by having sex with another woman, and then saying, "It didnt mean anything! I was thinking of you the whole time". Do you see the logic (or the lack of it!) behind this?
What you say is "harmless" is certainl... (read in full...)
What's wrong with sexting someone else while in a committed relationship?
Q. why is sexting (sending racy/sexually suggestive texts and FB messages) wrong? I can't see a problem with it and have been sexting an ex-colleague who i have no intention of seeing in reality. My gf of 6 months (who i love and am serious about) ...
A. 25 January 2012: You're kidding, right?
What according to you is acceptable about it?
If it means nothing to you then why would you do it? You're talking to another woman about SEX, that is out of line. You are cheating on your girlfriend, whether you agre... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see sex as another job/chore. My husband jokes its my "duty" but I really feel like telling him he can shove it
Q. My and my H have been together for over 10 years and have 2 children we both work full time. I am 27 and he is 35 we get on great and normally I have the higher sex drive however atm I just don't have the energy/need to have sex I haven't lost my ...
A. 25 January 2012: You are right OP, he can shove it.
You are not being a bitch, its your husband who's insensitive. It seems that all he cares about is having his desires met. If he was at all concerned, HE should be the one suggesting counselling, because this is ... (read in full...)
Am I justified in getting upset when he talks about his 'sex and drugs' days?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 6 months and we're both in our early 30s. I'm a very responsible, financially stable woman and I pretty much have my shit together. I'm educated and worked hard to get where I am. He dropped out of school when he was ...
A. 24 January 2012: I'll be honest, it takes guts to date a guy with this kind of a past.
Your reactions are normal OP, anyone would get mad listening to this nonsense. But the thing is, its YOUR decision to date him. His past will always be a part of him, its not ... (read in full...)
I think I like multiple women.
Q. Hey all, I'll keep this brief. I have three lady friends at my university. And whenever I see one of them I think: "ooo, I think I like you because your personality is ________________". Or "you're attractive". Then I'll see the next woman maybe 1 ...
A. 24 January 2012: Dont worry about it, I had crushes on more than one guy too, when I was your age. I liked a bunch of losers (yes they were ALL losers!) and thankfully I never acted on it! It was nice just to be silly and stare at them all dreamy eyed!
I think it... (read in full...)
Rough sex got out of control and I hurt my girlfriend.
Q. I really feel bad about hurting my GF. My girl friend likes it when I get rough. like when we have sex or fingering her, she likes it when I really slam her. or she likes to be slammed against the wall sometime. well last weekend I was fingering her ...
A. 24 January 2012: You should be more careful. She might like it rough, but you must realize she is a lady and if you use physical strength on her, you will end up physically hurting her, which is unacceptable. If you are both fine with it, then do what is acceptable ... (read in full...)
Matters down under!
Q. I was wondering how most women have their pubic hair, i guess? Just because idk if a guy will be freaked out if I have hair down there, or if it's normal too. If you don't have hair down there, how do you remove it? What do guys prefer? Is having ...
A. 23 January 2012: Who cares what a guy thinks, do whatever you feel comfortable in.
Personally, I find it more hygienic to keep it neat and shaven down there, it feels cleaner plus there's no tangled, matted hair during the periods.
Shaving does make it itc... (read in full...)
Should I go to Paris alone?
Q. My parents have offered me an amazing deal, but i'm not sure if I should do it.. They asked if I wanted to go to paris for the weekend by myself, as an independent experience and to see Paris as i've always talked about. Sure it'd be incredible an...
A. 23 January 2012: I'm telling you from first hand experience... GO!! I've been to Paris alone, and it was AMAZING!! Sure you might feel you would want to share such a romantic city with someone special, but dont wait. If you're getting the chance, take it.
Trust... (read in full...)
My self esteem is low. I have a huge crush on this guy. So how do I get over all my worries that he's seeing other girls?
Q. Hey, I've had a thing with a guy for about two years, he's asked me to be his girlfriend, but I said no because he was leaving for college in another place soon. Also, I'm not good enough for him and I just don't want him to be stuck with me. ...
A. 22 January 2012: How many times in the entire post have you stated, "I'm not good enough for him"?!!
Come on OP, stop thinking that way!! If you dont love yourself, then how can you expect others to? Your self esteem has taken such a hit, you even doubt people w... (read in full...)
Three years together. We are happy to remain celibate. But How do I deal with my apprehension about sex in the future?
Q. My guy and I have been together for 3 years now and we've been pretty close to having sex a couple of times now and I know I want him to be my first and he's sure he wants me to be his first but I am just so scared for the first time so I always ...
A. 22 January 2012: If you have apprehensions, then you are still not ready. And its not about it being a good thing or a bad thing, bottom line is you are not ready and you shouldn't do it unless you are a thousand percent sure and confident about having sex.
If yo... (read in full...)
What makes a girl a "safe bet"?
Q. What does it mean when a guy says you are 'a safe bet' ???????...
A. 21 January 2012: A "safe bet" is someone whom the guy can bank upon, while he goes gallivanting. I don't think a decent guy would ever call a girl a "safe bet". A safe bet means someone who is good enough to take home to mom, from a good family background, fairly ... (read in full...)
My father is selling his body!
Q. i reently found out my father and his new girlfriends selling their bodies for sex on a website [name of website removed by mod]. its torn my family apart one of my brothers thinks the sun shines out of my fathers rear end and my sister is getting ...
A. 18 January 2012: Sadly you cant do anything else, except completely detach yourself from your father's life.
All of us have choices that we make in life, sadly your father has chosen to make the wrong choices and refuses to change. What else can you do? Exposing... (read in full...)
My G/f is utterly convinced that most of her unhappiness has to do with me, and I have a hard time dealing with such a heavy burden
Q. I am feeling very confused and trapped in my current relationship with my girlfriend. I’ve been dating her for 2 and a half years, I am 21 and she is 23 years old, if this is any help. I care for her a lot, yet she is simultaneously a...
A. 16 January 2012: This girl needs professional help and its not up to you to help her OP. You have been very good with her, maybe even too good, and rather than helping her, that's actually worsened her case. She just needs a vent for her frustrations and someone to ... (read in full...)
My son's wedding will be a disaster!
Q. My son is 37 and marrying a 28 year old woman. My son is getting married this summer and im not happy with the way his fiancees family and friends re-acted at the engagement party 2 weeks ago because im afraid they will ruin the day of the weddi...
A. 16 January 2012: I'm inclined to agree with the poster who said that perhaps you're feeling this way because you're paying for half the wedding. Do you think that if you remove the money matter, (and the nosey neighbors!!), would it still hurt quite as much?
And y... (read in full...)
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