| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My son's wedding will be a disaster!
Q. My son is 37 and marrying a 28 year old woman. My son is getting married this summer and im not happy with the way his fiancees family and friends re-acted at the engagement party 2 weeks ago because im afraid they will ruin the day of the weddi...
A. 16 January 2012: I'm inclined to agree with the poster who said that perhaps you're feeling this way because you're paying for half the wedding. Do you think that if you remove the money matter, (and the nosey neighbors!!), would it still hurt quite as much?
And y... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not want to kiss one's wife?
Q. Is it normal to feel like I don't want to kiss my wife? It just makes me feel gross and icky like kissing a sister. Sure, we did kiss once upon a time, but after 10 years together it creeps me out. She doesn't seem to miss it either. She neve...
A. 15 January 2012: Its definitely not normal, and the way you've worded your post, it seems that all is not right.
Kissing is intimate, I would say even more intimate than the act of sex. Kissing someone you love comes out of a passion for them, and if you don't li... (read in full...)
What advise can I give my friend?
Q. Dear Cupid, my girlfriend has been in an relationship with a married man for ten yrs. now she's also married. 2wks ago they were out of town together in a hotel. The guy paid for the room with his credit card and his wife tracked the hotel and ...
A. 15 January 2012: Is this man doing his "adult daughter" any favours by having an affair while cheating on her mother?!! This isnt even an excuse!!
If your friend at her age refuses to see the situation as it is and get out of it, then there's nothing you can do a... (read in full...)
Am I just his "booty call"?
Q. I met this young guy (25y) I am 33y female....We had chemistry..started whith just kisses..with the time we ended up in sex.... I like him a lot. Is very mature and has a brillant career, is very smart and corteous. Very succesful for his age. La...
A. 13 January 2012: Yes you are.
A convenient, easy, available option. Why would he invest all the time in taking you out for dinner/dance/the movies, when he can just get to have sex without any effort? He doesn't give a damn about your company, you are unfortun... (read in full...)
I'm with a great guy, except he may be facing 4 years in prison. Should I wait?
Q. Well I been dating this guy for a little over a year now. And he is a great guy. Hes the best thing thats happend to me. I love being with him and I catch myself smiling for no reason sometimes:) But he has been in trouble wit the cops before, ...
A. 13 January 2012: Wait. Just wait long enough to pack your stuff and run out of the door.
4 years in prison at your age shows that he is making terrible choices in life, and while he makes you smile now, its not going to be quite so hunky-dory during the 4 years at... (read in full...)
My husband, the stripper and the bouncer
Q. A few days ago, my husband came to me and told me that he had been taken advantage of by a stripper. He had gone to a strip club for lunch and a show. A stripper convinced him to go in the back room for a private dance for $20. Once there, she ...
A. 10 January 2012: What does he want sympathy for? The fact that he was roughed up and thrown out by the bouncer? Because I dont see what else hurts him here.
He went to the strip club on his own accord, agreed to a private lap dance and then you dont really k... (read in full...)
There's an 8 year age difference, is that OK?
Q. Hi agony aunts, i need some advice on what to do with this older man I have been seeing. He is 25 yrs old (8 yr age gap, I'm 17) i have met him only a few times in the month and a half i have known him and other than that mostly keeping in touch ...
A. 9 January 2012: Read Celtic Tiger's answer carefully, that's the best advice and sums it all up.
This man is scum and just wants sex and nothing else. Dont fall into the "I'm scared I'm falling in love with you" trash. Its just pure nonsense. And how dare he ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 5 January 2012: If you have it all planned and refuse to consider any advice, then why exactly did you post your question here?... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 3 January 2012: At 19 years of age, you want a baby to fill in the void in your B/f's life because of his father's death! Are you financially stable enough to support a child? What about your B/f? Is he ready? Are you both done with your studies?
"I bet you're t... (read in full...)
My B/f was chatting with another girl, about cuddling and licking chocolate off her breasts!! How do I confront him?
Q. He left himself logged in and curiosity got the better of me. I recognize the girl he spoke to and i think he's been with her in the past before me. Him: Hey 3 Her: Hey Him: How are you baby? Her: Good thanks, yourself? Him: Goo...
A. 2 January 2012: You do know its over, right? Because this is cheating and there are no two ways about it. Just tell him the truth, tell him you saw his chat because it was right in your face and that you are done with him. Throw him out of your life OP, no second ... (read in full...)
I feel awful for misguiding the girl I plan to marry for so many years but I'm so scared to face the music but I also want to right my wrong
Q. So, about five years ago I met a girl, who is now my girlfriend of three years, online and she lives in PA. We always got a long real well and eventually we started to play on the ps3 with eachother, because we were curious about what the other ...
A. 2 January 2012: Good luck having a telephonic relationship for life then. You do realize you're just messing it all up more and more each day, right? You HAVE to summon up the courage, because this cannot go on for ever and you know that too.... (read in full...)
I feel awful for misguiding the girl I plan to marry for so many years but I'm so scared to face the music but I also want to right my wrong
Q. So, about five years ago I met a girl, who is now my girlfriend of three years, online and she lives in PA. We always got a long real well and eventually we started to play on the ps3 with eachother, because we were curious about what the other ...
A. 2 January 2012: All the best! Hope everything works out fine, please keep us updated... (read in full...)
Would texting him at midnight on NYE be a good move? we fell out, but he said to try things again in 2012
Q. i really like this boy and we've been meeting up, texting and stuff like that. we fell out but we are ok now, he said to try things in 2012.. seeing as its new years eve i was thinking of texting him how i felt at midnight? but i wouldnt know what ...
A. 31 December 2011: Nope, dont give him that kind of importance. Why did he tell you to "try" things in 2012? Its like he's telling you, "I'm giving you a chance, lets see how you are".
Dont make yourself too available for him. You'll just come across as needy an... (read in full...)
Is it normal to love one child more than your other?
Q. This might be a very "rough" question.. But, let's say you have 2 children. Would it be normal to love one more then the other? Or, let's say you were put in a situation where only one of your children would live, and you had to choose which one ...
A. 31 December 2011: I dont think so. I know that for parents, all children are alike and there can never be a choice. ... (read in full...)
I don't want anyone liking me in a romantic way!
Q. Hi, thanks for viewing this question:D. Anyways, on the problem. I think this year is an extremely strange year, maybe its because of the fact that everyone in my level will be graduating from our school. But this year, I received 17 confessi...
A. 31 December 2011: There is NOTHING wrong with you, I was exactly like that! The first time that a guy confessed his undying love towards me, I was only 14. I didn't know anything about all this, I was a complete Enid Blyton devotee, my life consisted of school, home, ... (read in full...)
Unexpected gifts at Christmas have left us feeling badly. What should we do?
Q. Hello. I've got a bit of a post christmas problem. Basically I spent christmas at my partners brothers house. We had a lovely time but we feel a bit awkward because her brothers partner signed her name on the presents from him, aswell as his na...
A. 31 December 2011: A thank you card with a box of chocolates might be a good idea. And if you could find out when her birthday is, you can make up by giving her a good gift then, maybe a nice bottle of perfume or something. Then it wont seem like you're trying to ... (read in full...)
My husband has been impotent for 5 years. Should I stay?
Q. What would you do, if your husband 20 years, suddenly goes impotent , without any any medical cause? He is 50 now, but he was 43, when one day to the next he just lost his erection, and ever since, he is unable to get a normal erection. He also lost ...
A. 31 December 2011: The question you have to ask yourself is, is love enough to sustain your relationship? If it were me, I would think that companionship and love,especially after 20 years of togetherness far outweighs the sexual aspect, but its entirely up to you to ... (read in full...)
I feel awful for misguiding the girl I plan to marry for so many years but I'm so scared to face the music but I also want to right my wrong
Q. So, about five years ago I met a girl, who is now my girlfriend of three years, online and she lives in PA. We always got a long real well and eventually we started to play on the ps3 with eachother, because we were curious about what the other ...
A. 31 December 2011: First things first. How is it you have never met in the last 3 years? Does her mom know about your "relationship" now? Where is all this leading to? Anyway now to answer your question, you can only mend it with the truth. As difficult as it ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but I'm disgusted, jealous and angry about her sexual past with her ex-boyfriends!
Q. My girlfriend is a nice and I really love her a ton and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She's everything I could have ever wanted. She's smart, beautiful, and very kind. But when we first hooked up a friend of mine told me she gave BJs ...
A. 31 December 2011: It will be very hard to come across someone who hasn't had any sexual experience whatsoever. The only thing to do is to tell yourself that her past is none of your business, she wasn't cheating on you, she was someone else's girlfriend and they ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being thoughtless by refusing to change his facebook status?
Q. Hi, I was having some issues with my bf because of his ex and his friendship and working with her. Anyway he swore to me that although he did really like her, they didn't really have a great relationship, that they didn't have a connection l...
A. 30 December 2011: Social networking, facebook, twitter, these things don't really do justice to one's personal life. He didnt change his status probably because he wasn't even thinking about it and also, there is a deluge of "comments" after status changes, maybe he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's lazy, unhygienic, has cockroaches on his bed,wants to get married and live in a trailer park..I'm done with him! Is it bad if I break up with him through text?
Q. Hey. I have an issue. I've been dating my bf for a year, and I want out. The problem is, he doesn't know I feel this way... Yet. I told my friends that I wanted to break up with him and when they all got drunk at a party, they told my bf's best ...
A. 26 December 2011: Yes, its low. You need to call it off and be strong and brave enough to talk to him face to face and call it quits. Ending it over text is just really cowardly and disgusting and really, you have nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to hide. Of ... (read in full...)
I've decided to break up with my Bf. Should I wait until a week or so into the new year and just have a peaceful x-mas?
Q. I have decided to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I no longer feel right in the relationship. I made this decision finally yesterday after lots of thought over the past few weeks, so it's not a spur of the moment thing and I am not ...
A. 23 December 2011: Do you think you can wait that long? I mean, if you've decided that its over, then its over. Now its just a matter of time before you tell him. If you do wait until after Christmas and New Year, can you keep your feelings under wraps? How are you ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever spent New Year's Eve alone?
Q. Hey aunts! So, I'm going through a pretty rocky phase in my life (my mom passed away last spring, I recently broke up with my 5year bf and I'm very heartbroken). Looks like I'm gonna be spending New Years Eve alone. I know it's a super loser thing ...
A. 22 December 2011: 31st December is just another date, and its just ridiculously hyped by the media and TV channels that constantly keep reminding everyone under the sun that its NYE.
Honestly,its no different from any other day. Its just another date, another ... (read in full...)
Am I too young to get married?
Q. Ok so me and my girlfriend were really good friends before we ever started to date. she had some emotional issues with things and then she started caring for me as more than friends when she relized that i was a caring person and wanted/tried to ...
A. 22 December 2011: What you have with your girlfriend is great. Enjoy the dating phase and all the fun, enjoy your time with her.
While its not too soon to get married, give it a few years more. If she is yours for keeps, then it will only make your relation... (read in full...)
I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 22 December 2011: Sorry for jumping into this thread rather late, but from what I gather from your post and subsequent follow-ups is that you are horribly hurt and you cannot understand how to move beyond this.
OP you HAVE to undergo counselling, either alone or... (read in full...)
Paranormal Activity?
Q. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so scared right now and I suppose I've been feeling uneasy for some time, I've just been trying to ignore it... But I’m really starting to think that there might be something in my house. It started off smal...
A. 21 December 2011: I'll be honest with you, normally the first reaction on reading a post like this is, "are you kidding me"!! But obviously something's amiss, because you are the one facing it and its apparent that you are distressed.
First and foremost, rule out... (read in full...)
My Bf had a message in the drafts folder of his phone saying, "I don't even know why I'm with (my name), she's f**king gross bro, like who hasn't f***ed her."!!
Q. so basically the other day my boyfriend and I of 4 months got in a fight because he found out that I had dated this guy he knows that he thinks is DISGUSTING. It doesn't make sense also because this happened like 6 years ago, it's not fair that he's ...
A. 17 December 2011: If it was an expression of his feelings in that moment of anger, then I don't think you should over-analyze it. You should talk to him and ask him what he feels for you now. Agreed that he wrote that in a fit of anger, and maybe he's over it now, ... (read in full...)
Just when I realize how great the guy is he says he's getting back with his ex!
Q. Hi, I'm really stupid, I met a perfect man, he is 32, funny, good career, sweet, good looking, from same background. We met 3 months ago in a club, I am 31 female And we got on great. Problem was in always felt a bit awkward in bed! He wa...
A. 16 December 2011: You know what OP, when you decided to compromise and settle for him, that's exactly what it was. A compromise. You were ready to look beyond something that was important for you,because you are starting to feel (unreasonably so!) that you are ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 15 December 2011: I would say wait for the right girl because "This girl who I really don't know but seems cool offered to take it from me" is like the biggest anti-climax (no pun here!) ever!!
If you've waited to have sex for so long, do it with the right pe... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm being a pest.....do they really like me?
Q. Basically, i started highschool about a week and abit ago, and so far everything has been going brilliantly, i'm doing well with the work, my sets are getting sorted out and my anxiety ( i have a severe anxiety disorder) is getting easier to ...
A. 14 December 2011: They talk to you because they GENUINELY like you, not because they feel sorry for you. Stop over-analyzing things so much. Why are you digging so deep into a simple matter of people talking to you?
You are doing well with your work, carry on with ... (read in full...)
Questions about my sex life on the first date
Q. Today I went out with a guy for the first time- we've got some mutual acquaintances and that's how we got to meet. Date went well enough- the standard movie + eating one. He seems cute, easy going, laid back, kind to people and very good looking. ...
A. 13 December 2011: This is priceless...I'm not going to forget this "world changer" chap for sure!! ... (read in full...)
Is 20 years too long to apologize after a bad break up?
Q. Is 20 years after a bad break up too long to apoligize? We had a really bad break up and I cheated on him. We had dated for about 2 years. I was not happy and he was so self absorbed he never caught on. I recently saw him and he avoids me. Turn and ...
A. 12 December 2011: Thank you OP!
Its always nice to be appreciated and it feels really nice to know that I was of some help. My best wishes are with you and I really hope you come out of this much stronger and happier. ... (read in full...)
Is 20 years too long to apologize after a bad break up?
Q. Is 20 years after a bad break up too long to apoligize? We had a really bad break up and I cheated on him. We had dated for about 2 years. I was not happy and he was so self absorbed he never caught on. I recently saw him and he avoids me. Turn and ...
A. 12 December 2011: Glad to be of help OP.
Please keep us updated and I really hope you come out of this much stronger and without the baggage of guilt that you have been carrying for 20 years.
All the best to you...... (read in full...)
Questions about my sex life on the first date
Q. Today I went out with a guy for the first time- we've got some mutual acquaintances and that's how we got to meet. Date went well enough- the standard movie + eating one. He seems cute, easy going, laid back, kind to people and very good looking. ...
A. 12 December 2011: The others have been very vocal about this creep, so I'm not going to go there. Read Cerberus' answer carefully...it pretty much sums the guy up.
Avoid him, because underneath the "cute, easy going, laid back, kind to people and very good looking"... (read in full...)
Is 20 years too long to apologize after a bad break up?
Q. Is 20 years after a bad break up too long to apoligize? We had a really bad break up and I cheated on him. We had dated for about 2 years. I was not happy and he was so self absorbed he never caught on. I recently saw him and he avoids me. Turn and ...
A. 12 December 2011: Hi OP,
Many people would say that what you did was wrong (cheating on him), but given the way that things were shaping up, I don't think it was wrong. I'm not condoning the fact that you cheated on him, I'm just saying you took that path bec... (read in full...)
Is 20 years too long to apologize after a bad break up?
Q. Is 20 years after a bad break up too long to apoligize? We had a really bad break up and I cheated on him. We had dated for about 2 years. I was not happy and he was so self absorbed he never caught on. I recently saw him and he avoids me. Turn and ...
A. 11 December 2011: Hi OP,
You are right, his behavior is extremely immature and childlike. This is not how a mature, balanced adult should behave. When we look back at ourselves, we were different maybe 5-10 years ago, but we have all evolved as individuals and that... (read in full...)
Is 20 years too long to apologize after a bad break up?
Q. Is 20 years after a bad break up too long to apoligize? We had a really bad break up and I cheated on him. We had dated for about 2 years. I was not happy and he was so self absorbed he never caught on. I recently saw him and he avoids me. Turn and ...
A. 10 December 2011: Are you sure apologizing will make him feel better? 20 years is a long time,and its enough time for a person to move on...more than enough in fact. I'm guessing you were in your twenties when you broke up with him?
Look OP, its not going to matte... (read in full...)
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
Q. Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
A. 10 December 2011: This is an interesting exercise!
Ok lets see now...Flaws:
1.)Worry too much
2.)I Come across as cold to people who don't know me
3.)Impatient
4.)Cynical
5.)Irritable
6.)Over react to the smallest things
7.)Very rigid... (read in full...)
My husband left me for a younger woman. Is this Karma?
Q. How do I repent for all the hearts and minds that I toyed with and crushed? I never knew what it felt like to be crushed because I was always the one doing the crushing and not giving crap about how I left my victims broken and damaged. I left ...
A. 8 December 2011: What goes around, comes around.
You tested your husband's patience to the limit, to the point when he had finally perhaps even given up on himself. Can you even imagine how he must have felt, through all your affairs? His sense of self worth wa... (read in full...)
Should I fret about my girlfriend violated my butt-hole?
Q. My girlfriend and I met a few months ago. We started having sex the third time we met (she initiated). First I thought to myself "great, no more boring lengthy dating". The first few times were like normal sex (I led and she followed) but since then ...
A. 8 December 2011: You cant turn gay, so please get rid of this misconception first. People don't become gay overnight. How do these terrible delusions even come into being? Sigh!
Anyway, coming to your question, it is for you to decide what is acceptable or not. ... (read in full...)
My partner couldn't be bothered that I miscarried our baby, and he's been busy texting his ex while I'm going through hell!
Q. Hi I've been with my partner for 3 half years. I was due to move on with him next month. In October I found out I was pregnant and was so happy. I'm 41 and my son has left home. My bf wasn't too keen at first but eventually began to get excited....
A. 7 December 2011: "Watch a man in times of... adversity to discover what kind of man he is; for then at last words of truth are drawn from the depths of his heart, and the mask is torn off. "
~Lucretius, On the Nature of Things
I'm sorry you had to go through t... (read in full...)
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