My girlfriend doesn't show affection or that she cares!
Q. Hey guys. Quick question. I'm a 30 year old male, dating a 24 year old female. We've been dating for 15 months. I don't really know what to do with our relationship. Every other woman I've ever dated has expressed her feelings in one wa...
A. 7 March 2014: When a girl doesn't tell you that she likes or loves you... or, values, you.... then, LISTEN TO HER!!!!! The message is deafening!!!!!!
I've "been there; done that".... and wasted 4 years believing that I just wasn't understanding what was goin... (read in full...)
Should I stick around? Is he still interested?
Q. Hi there! I have a strange situation with my boyfriend of almost three years and I really need some advice as it's beginning to take over my thoughts! He has recently joined a touring band and we moved to the city the band lives in to be clo...
A. 7 March 2014: Time goes by.... "things" change.....
"Sounds" to me as if this relationship... which was so good for you, in the past, at that different location... and with a more-humble man.... has morphed to become other than tolerable for you.... and you ... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 6 March 2014: If this guy can't give you his undivided attenion for a while... then HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!!!!
Get a better boyfriend. There are OOOOdles of them out there....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
How far should the "my house, my rules" concept be taken?
Q. I am curious to know your thoughts about the concept of "my house, my rules". Recently there was a question posted by an (over 18) OP living at home with her parents, who wanted to get a piercing against her mother's vigorous oppositi...
A. 5 March 2014: HI Cindy. Good question......
It's my opinion that, as parents, we are allowed to apply what I call the "bonehead" rule to behaviour of those under our roof...... That is:
If your kid wants to do something that YOU think is stupid ("bonehea... (read in full...)
Boyfriend tells me my vagina is loose and we have other relationship problems. What should I do?
Q. Hi all. I'm sorry I have question. Me and my boyfriend is on long distance relationship now. He was staying in same country for last 3 months and now he's in his country for some visa and application purposes to come back here. Actually I feel a l...
A. 5 March 2014: "Sounds" to me like you've found an immature idiot who isn't worth a whit of your time and/or mental attention....
Dump him.... and find out about the ooooodles of other nice guys who are "out there".... and would like to spend time with you.... ... (read in full...)
His ex-wife is trash-talking me all over town.
Q. The man I was seeing is now trying to get back with his wife and she is harassing me and telling everyone I stalked him and wouldnt leave him alone when in fact we had a 3 month relationship which he instigated and I finished. He had already split ...
A. 5 March 2014: Sometimes, just being quiet can be uber-effective in disarming slander.... (Don't "do" a darn thing!!!!!)
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Feelings of guilt over new relationship
Q. I am a 62 year old retired professional man, and I was widowed a little over two years ago. My late wife and I were married for 32 years, essentially we had a 'good' marriage, and I have one grown up son. Seven months ago (August 2013) I met in s...
A. 5 March 2014: FORGET any "feelings of guilt".....
Your late-wife would probably be ecstatic to learn that - following her death - you are enjoying life as much as - even MORE than - you did when she was alive and with you.
You have my permission to ha... (read in full...)
I want to be supportive of my boyfriend after the death of his son, but he's pushing me away
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend since 9/14/13. On 12/13/13, his 23-year-old son committed suicide. He and his ex split up many years ago and he had not physically been involved in the kids’ lives for about 10 years or so, though he did still keep ...
A. 4 March 2014: WE guys prefer to be in our caves if/when we experience some of life's stresses. It's just "who we are."
Give him lots of scope for, say, 3 months.... then be back in contact and see how he is doing.... You (and he) may choose to re-start... (read in full...)
How can he change his mind like that? And how can he say he loves me while he's having sex with other women?
Q. Ok idk if my boyfriend loves me. If he does when did he start idk and i think he is with me only cause i love him not sure. How can i be sure when he left 3 times. He says ii came back. But the last 2 breakups was evil mean very badbad. I wonder if ...
A. 4 March 2014: You ask: ".... I wonder if im being manipulated or abusedabused in some way..."
The answer to THAT is "yes, of course".... AND you've delineated all the ways in which you KNOW about that deceit...
The only "question" is: Why do you put up wi... (read in full...)
Girls, would you date a guy who isn't funny?
Q. Girls say all the time that they want guys who are funny, well the truth is, that not everybody can make everybody laugh and be the life at the party. Some guys like me are not funny or sarcastic and generally don't have a sense of humor. I'll n...
A. 4 March 2014: They might be... HOWEVER, if you whip out your American Express credit card and look her directly in the eye and say: "Hey, (her name here) how would you like to spend a couple of weeks with me in Jamaica?".... I assure you, that you'll probably ... (read in full...)
It bugs me that my BF 'likes' a friend's photos on Facebook! Am I crazy?
Q. Hey, This may seem childish but it has really been bothering me. Or maybe this is a common type of thing that bothers people in relationships, I need your help and advice. My boyfriend will "like" an old friend of mines photos on facebook. Mos...
A. 4 March 2014: I suggest that you keep quiet about your concern(s)... and see if he ever brings up the subject with you....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
What can I do to ensure that I can find someone who doesn't blow me out after 5 months or so?
Q. Dear Cupid, Im a 30 year old women living in London. I'm single and have had around 6 serious boyfriends. Over the past couple of years, my elderly father has become very ill with a heart condition and dementia. It has been complicated as this...
A. 4 March 2014: I think you have given us the KEY to your dilemma....right there in the text of your submittal....
You write: "....It has been complicated as this things often are,..."
My retort: No... things DON'T have to be "complicated, often." Figur... (read in full...)
I am so low on my fiance's priority list we havent met for a month!
Q. Dead Cupid, I'm in a long term relationship. Engaged last year, will be married next year. I don't know if it's a phase? But I'm starting to get sick and tired of my fiancé's attitude. He always pioritise his friends and will always second me...
A. 4 March 2014: It's SO ironic. You wrote this: "My fiancé is a great guy."..... but your submittal describes a guy who is NOT ONLY not "great"... BUT ALSO seems rather boorish... AND who seems to not give a darn about YOU. THIS(!!!) is the guy you want to ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my close-minded mother?
Q. Hello, this may seem like a pathetic question...but how do I deal with my traditional close-minded mother? I am 20 and will be turning 21 soon, but I still live with my parents. I want to get an eyebrow piercing (I have wanted one since highscho...
A. 3 March 2014: You ask: "How do I handle this situation when it comes?"
What you do is,... you learn to be an adult... and AVOID this situation ("... when it comes"....) by NOT HAVING IT COME!!!!!!!!!
Damn!!! You LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS (!!!) and can't ... (read in full...)
I like him but he's seven years older and I'm worried my family will freak out
Q. So lately I've been talking to a guy I really like. The only thing is that I'm 20 and he's 27. I'm worried that my family will freak over the age difference if we do ever become boyfriend and girlfriend. Is the age difference too far apart? What ...
A. 3 March 2014: If "your (my) family" has an opportunity to date this guy, then THEY can then pass judgement on the age difference and decide that THEY will date him... or not.
YOU are the person who might date the guy. You family has no say in the matter. ... (read in full...)
He invited me, so why shouldn't he pay?
Q. Dear ok Cupid, I have male friend who I haven't talked to for over a year, asked if I would accompany he and his family to Disney Land n July 2014. He told me that all I have to pay for is my airfare. If this was an invite, don't u think he...
A. 3 March 2014: I think his offer was appropriate... and the onus is on YOU do decide if you want to take him up on it.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
He wants us to move in but also tells me he has 'committment issues'
Q. Hello! Ok, so my boyfriend mentioned to me yesterday that he thinks he has issues with commitment. He is 31 and has had three girlfriends before me throughout his 20s. The first was four years long, he wasn't really happy though so they broke up...
A. 3 March 2014: Yes... you "... should worry about his committment."
This guy has TOLD YOU that he isn't interested in a REAL committment/relationship.
You wrote: ::...he says he loves me and is happy and if he wasn't happy he would leave!" Do you know what... (read in full...)
I know there's no future for me with this guy, but it still bothers me that I haven't heard from him since we broke up
Q. I broke up with the guy I've been seeing for the past year because we were on different pages. He agreed with it. But then in a moment of weakness, I texted him that I didn't want that. I feel really stupid about texting him, breaking up is t...
A. 3 March 2014: Sounds like HE completed his 1/2 of the breakup, and YOU didn't....
Put his and your "relationship" in your rear-view mirror, forget it, and get on with your life. He has already done so....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
After the drunken argument we had I'm afraid my partner thinks I haven't really changed!
Q. hi my girlfriend and i have split for 2 months now after a drunken argument day after boxing day.we had been together for 12 months previous,prior to that we had a 2.5yr seperation due to myself committing assault on my partner after she had ...
A. 3 March 2014: "Sounds" to me like your lady-friend has learned her lesson... which lesson is that you and she don't make up much of a "couple".... and she doesn't want to risk being your punching bag, again, at any time in the future...
I suggest you start an... (read in full...)
We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.
Q. is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...
A. 3 March 2014: I'm imagining that you wear glasses....
.... and the glasses you are wearing, currently, have black paint over the lenses....
You put up a frightfully long and detailed description of a "man" who is - simultaneously - a child and a whore... T... (read in full...)
We were so in love then poof he's gone..
Q. At my recent works Christmas meal, our waiter gave me his number, I was flattered and decided to text him. The more we text to and from we found that we clicked almost instantly, he said he couldn't take his eyes off me at the meal and I was take...
A. 1 March 2014: If'n you put out for him.... then you can chalk this up as your first/best experience with guys using you, then walking away (from you).....
YOU can "benefit" only by recognizing what happened (this event) and NEVER repeating it!!!!
Sorry (... (read in full...)
I accidentally missed my first date with a guy. I apologised but has he had enough already? What should I do?
Q. Hi, I was supposed to meet my online date in person, for the first time, earlier this afternoon. We have been chatting online for approx 2 months and have been looking forward to meeting each other. I, unfortunately was unable to meet him in pers...
A. 1 March 2014: If'n I were him... and had the experience you described (almost being stood up; but under peculiar - and explicable - circumstances), I would take a "second chance" at making a subsequent date with you.... (IF you screwed that up, I'd forget about ... (read in full...)
I resent that his ex-wife expects me and my family to run errands for her!
Q. I am frustrated and unhappy and thinking of leaving my 3 year relationship. My live in divorced boyfriend's ex wife seems to think it is appropriate for everyone to run errands for her and thir child. She instructs him to tell me to pick up art ...
A. 27 February 2014: Are you crazy?????? Here you have a "boyfriend" who is treating you like his (and is ex's) personal "go-fer"!!!!!
Put your foot down... say: "This stops TODAY..... and stays stopped FOREVER".... and, if he doesn't go along with that....... (read in full...)
His home smells. Am I being petty. How can I solve this problem ?
Q. I am in an LDR and every other weekend I see my bf. I love him very much but I hate his house. I know it sounds very shallow but it is a very very old house. The bathroom has mould growing in it and green bathtub...toilet etc. The whole house ...
A. 27 February 2014: IF you think that your's and his relationship might ever evolve to marriage, then you MUST consider that he has been living in squalor.... since that is an idicator of how he lives... AND, how he might live/contribute to your (mutual) surroundings ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has said "I'm a keeper" multiple times out of no where?
Q. So this past week my bf has said I was a keeper multiple times. Last night he tells me his boss wanted to meet me because he was telling her about me, he said "she's a keeper". Within the past 2 days he's said it 3 times. what does that really mean ...
A. 27 February 2014: "She's a keeper" is high praise. It traces back to fishing.... wherein there are limits on the size of the fish one may "keep" (smaller ones must be thrown back). However, it's evolution is NO LONGER reference to size (like the fish), but, ... (read in full...)
I am overreacting or is he purposefully putting me down?
Q. I am older than my husband. He is from a different country and keeps calling me old woman. This has been going on for a while now and I find it very irritatating and annoying and when someone persists in keep saying and doing something that you ...
A. 27 February 2014: Like SVC's, my relationship is with a woman who is older than I am. Occasionally, I will make a quip about her advanced years (For example: "I love the giant Redwood trees, out in California. They're majestic and have perserved through ... (read in full...)
If a young female sleeps around, does it change the views men have of them?
Q. Okay! I'd like some opinions on this please. I am a college student and I have a lot of female friends who are my age (17-18) who simply enjoy to have NSA sex, one night stands, and FWB's. ...
A. 26 February 2014: Girls who put out "at the drop of a hat".... are considered to be whorish... and have a great deal of trouble establishing respect for themselves, later, once they've exhibited this whorish behaviour....
It's much easier to AVOID being a whore th... (read in full...)
Help. My sister has gone off the rails and I worry about her son.
Q. 12 Years ago, my sister got pregnant out of wedlock and at first tried to move out of her apartment with her friends and home with us. Thankfully, her friends weren't having it because she owed rent money (she had planned to work from home and pay ...
A. 26 February 2014: YOu "ask": "...I don't know what I'm asking for. Maybe for insight and understanding?" Here it is:
Your sister is a big girl. She is an adult. She has to make her OWN WAY in this world..... and it's NOT your job to "save" her from herself.... (read in full...)
Why is the ex back in touch? Is he just playing games or is he for real?
Q. Dear Cupid... Its me again.... its been over a month now and I have not talked to my ex, he started calling me back about a week ago and he is still calling and sending me text messages.I have not responded to him at all. I mean he said that he did ...
A. 26 February 2014: He's call/contacting you because he has a drought in his sex life... and knows that YOU are vulnerable (are likely to put out if he sez just the right things, and holds out just the right "promises"...).... and can't imagine going too long without a ... (read in full...)
Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while?
Q. Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....
A. 26 February 2014: Women know that they have to put out to "hook" you.... and.... once they are comfortable that they DO "have you on the hook" they discontinue with the sex.....
NOT ALL women do this.... but you have been uncanny in your ability to find some who... (read in full...)
He's so special to me, but I wonder if I'm just one more of the countless girls for him
Q. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with my boyfriend's past. In the beginning, I knew he had been somewhat promiscuous but I didn't know to what extent. I have never been promiscuous myself, although I have had no strings attached sex, only a ...
A. 25 February 2014: Here's my "take" on this.....
You've fallen for a Lothario who knows how to sweet-talk girls in to putting out for him.... has done so MANY TIMES before (by his own admission)... and YOU think that YOU are "the one" who is going to break him of t... (read in full...)
Why is he acting like this? A late mid-life crisis?
Q. ok so theres this guy at work and usually i just say hi then carry on with my work. like i dont pay him much attention recently every time i walk past him he'll pretend to punch me(without making contact) /lightly punch my arm or like pretend to ...
A. 25 February 2014: He wants to be "friends" with you because there is nothing one of us old dubbas wants/needs/craves more than a tender young thing, like you, to make US feel young - and sexy - again....
Resist his advances... (Yes, they're "advance... (read in full...)
If she can't take money from me in this crunch, what's the point of me being her fiance and see her struggling?
Q. I have been in love with American woman for two years. I met her when I was visiting US for business purpose. She also came to Pakistan and I also go here and there. I'm 33 , she is 28. We were engaged now and she has ring from my side and I have ...
A. 25 February 2014: You can't do a darn thing to "make her accept (your) my offer..." The reason is very likely that she is savvy enough to know that, IF she accepts financial help from a man (this is not particular to you!), THEN she is beholden to him... and that ... (read in full...)
We've been talking on the phone for 6 months, dating for 5 weeks, we are a perfect match and he has asked me to move in with him!
Q. I was speaking to a guy on the phone for about 6 months, he always asked me out on a date but going from his picture he wasn't my type. Then my car blew up and he said he knew someone who had a golf so 1 afternoon my mum and 1 went up to see it and ...
A. 25 February 2014: You should stay where you are... and tell Romeo: "I rather like things as they have been. I DO like you, however, and would like to continue spending time together.... AND, if, after, say, another 6 months or more, we want to get closer... then ... (read in full...)
Will he be better to her than he was to me?
Q. Will he be different with her? My husband and I divorced mainly because he was very emotionally/verbally abusive and he walked out. We have a child together-so I try to maintain a civil relationship with him because of that. He has a girlfr...
A. 25 February 2014: WHAT DO YOU CARE?????? SHE is stuck with him, now....
Get on with your life,... and live it the very best you can...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Why are there times when I'm not attracted to him?
Q. Why do I go through phases of finding him very attractive, and then not so much so? I love my boyfriend, and generally speaking he is a good looking guy. I find myself wildly attracted to him sometimes...and then other times...not really. I know i...
A. 25 February 2014: Here's the key. You write: "I love him for who he is, why are there times when I don't find myself attracted to him?"
It's because you really DON'T "... love him for who he is." It seems that you are attracted to his APPEARANCE (by your own... (read in full...)
I want to be exclusive, he's not so sure
Q. I met this guy online, we've been talking for about two months. We've had a few discussions about us being together, but of course we both feel it's best to be friends first before we date. Though, I have mentioned being exclusive. We've gotten into ...
A. 25 February 2014: You write: "....he always says "in the future""
Your response should be: "OK, (his name here), contact me when the future arrives, and we can talk then..."
Until then, keep your eyes out for a guy who is more compatible with, and more in keep... (read in full...)
Things were a bit of a blur when we saw each other and I'm not sure how to respond to him!
Q. Why did my ex contact me, and what should I do?. Last time I saw him, I went to his place. We have met a few times recently. We went out for drinks. It went well at first. I had some cider, which I am used to drinking. However, he gave me some ...
A. 25 February 2014: "If I do contact him, what should I say?". IF you're Hell-bent to contact him, you say, "Ya know that night we spent together? Welll, it resulted from YOU giving ME alcohol... and isn't EVER, EVER, EVER going to happen again." Then.....
"I do... (read in full...)
Tell me what I already know but don't wanna believe
Q. Hello! Heres the situation; I've been dating a guy for about a month, 'talking' for about two. In those two months we have been Facebook friends on and off, I have deleted him 3 times now, the first time was because a lady was putting comment ...
A. 25 February 2014: HOW outlandish will his behaviour have to be before you see how much he's making a fool of you???? Do you covet to be in that position (the fool)? If so... then continue as things have been. IF you find that you have bits of self-respect that you ... (read in full...)
I would love for us to make a step forward in living together but he is not prepared to talk about any future plans!
Q. Hi , would love an answer to a complexed dilemma . My boyfriend lives in London . I live in Scotland , we have been seeing each other for three years . I would love to see a step forward towards us living together . I was told by my boyfrien...
A. 25 February 2014: I LOVE your submittal. Why?
Because you say you would "...love to see a step forward towards us living together ..." Who'se to say that THAT's a step FORWARD???? What it IS, is an opportunity for HIM to gain MUCHO control... and put YOU in t... (read in full...)
Not sure if I'm bisexual or just bi-curious!
Q. I am really confused about my sexual orientation. I have liked guys for all my life. I feel attracted to men and sometimes in a sexual attraction,but I was always uncomfortable with the idea of sex whenever it got to where me and a guy were alone. ...
A. 23 February 2014: I'm not sure if I'm straight, or bi- or gay.... but every time I get my G/F to remove her clothes I believe I am zeroing in on the "answer" to that tri-lemma.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
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