A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Girls say all the time that they want guys who are funny, well the truth is, that not everybody can make everybody laugh and be the life at the party. Some guys like me are not funny or sarcastic and generally don't have a sense of humor.I'll never be that guy who has the ability to make anybody laugh, as I am more serious and reservd.Are girls put off by guys like me, who are not funny? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 March 2014):
 Yes, I would and I did. To some extent, at least.
I AM the story teller and official entertainer in a couple, I am the witty one, the one who makes people laugh. I feel better with men who do not steal my thunder and do not compete for center stage ( as you see, I admit my weaknesses :) and, also more importantly, that complement me rather than being like me. So, a serious, self contained vibe vs. my extrovert, at times frivolous one . A " strong and silent " type vs. chatterbox , always put-my-2-cents in me.
I DO appreciate a good sense of humour, a rapier wit, a tongue in-cheek approach to life, I think is a great quality to have. But not necessarily in my partner, I don't need a man to entertain me and make me laugh. I am content with Seinfeld for that.
The extent where I draw the line is if they can't occasionally laugh at themselves, of they take themselves, and anything and everything in life, too seriously and heavily. Serious does not have to mean pompous , or ,even less, BORING. It does not mean you have to be intense or dramatic or, worse, gloomy about everything.
Maybe I am not explaining it too well here, - it's hard to explain- but I feel that if you can be , at times and when necessary, light hearted and easy going IN LIFE, you don't need to be able to translate it into jokes and puns and / or to be a barrel of laughs around people,- or around me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2014): No, I wouldn't date a guy without a sense of humor. Sometimes you need someone to make you smile and cheer you up. If a guy can't even do that, what good is he? He doesn't need to be a clown or make jokes every other sentence. But a couple who can make one another laugh and smile is the happiest couple.
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A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (5 March 2014):
Sorry, but I think you need to make a girl laugh. For one, it shows wit and intellect, but it also makes her happy. Being funny can overcome a lot of other shortfalls. A guy who used to work for me had the funniest self-deprecating humor I've ever seen. He wasn't good looking by a longshot, but everyone wanted to be around him, esp the ladies.
For myself, I'm not nearly as much a "life-of-the-party" guy, but every girl Ive ever been with always laughed. Ive always heard them tell their friends/family something to the effect of "I know he seems so serious, but you should see how funny he is with me..."
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (5 March 2014):
 Humour is called for in a number of different ways; it’s not all about being the life of the party or making people laugh. It’s also about making people comfortable around you, being at ease, can they approach you and or see that you have the ability to laugh at yourself if/when you stuff up or loose your way…
E.g. A friend of mine takes the wrong exit and has to drive a few extra kilometres to get back on the highway… He goes ‘ballistic’ at his error (cause he terminally lacks humour) and makes everyone else in the car suffer! :( Another person could do the same error and make light of this situation by saying; we’re taking the scenic route folks and we’ll by back on track shortly :) So is this other person a comedian or life at a party? NO
So perhaps it’s not all about having humour in the; ha ha fashion, but one must be able to make light of a situation in lieu of humour!? Girls can easily be put off by guys who lack humour and those who go over the top – YES, but what a guy can do is make people relax around him in other ways.
If you need Que Cards when to laugh, then we’re seriously talking about having a problem. However, if you’re simply not inclined to make jokes, that’s ok.
CAA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): I don't want someone who is the life of the party, a little sense of humor is great, but I wouldn't mind dating someone serious, as long as he also could be goofy sometimes. I wouldn't be put off if someone wasn't funny, I don't really expect to be laughing all the time when I am with someone and if it doesn't come naturally to you, don't try to be someone you're not. what I don't like is when a guy only ever wants to talk about "serious" things
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 March 2014):
 I prefer guys with a good sense of humor. One who "gets" sarcasm, irony and at the same time can be goofy from time to time.
I don't need a stand up comedian, but if you have as much sense of humor as a rock, we probably wouldn't be compatible. I love to laugh. I'd rather be with someone who has a sense of humor that is compatible to mine then someone romantic.
However, not all girls do. Some rather have a romantic guy.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 March 2014):
 They might be... HOWEVER, if you whip out your American Express credit card and look her directly in the eye and say: "Hey, (her name here) how would you like to spend a couple of weeks with me in Jamaica?".... I assure you, that you'll probably end up in bed with her that night.... AND all the nights that you and she are in Jamaica.
It's critical that you keep all this in perspective. After all.... a girl that wants to start a family (with you) won't be too concerned if you are as hilarious as Red Skelton... just so long as she gets her sperm!!!
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): I think the other posters have been a bit soft with you. There is no way I would even entertain dating someone that didn't have a sense of humour. There is nothing wrong with being serious, and I would dislike dating the 'class clown' but being able to laugh with someone, I would say is an important part of a relationship. Sometimes, LIFE isn't funny and you need to be with someone that can make you smile.You don't have to constantly entertain people, but you should at least have a sense of humour, even if that doesn't involve joking around or being sarcastic (which is lowest form of wit anyway, don't you know haha), there should be a private joke or SOMETHING you can laugh about with your other half. I read a paper once on 'the science of laughter' - to sum up very, very, briefly, it is a way we BOND with other humans. It shows something in common, it shows we are not a threat to one another.I don't think you should change, but you should be able to laugh with a girl you are looking to date, even if YOU are not being funny, you should be able to laugh over something together. You don't need to BE funny yourself, but you do need to be able to laugh and have fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): You don't have to be funny. Different women like different things. Some people like serious. In fact, some couples are complete opposites of each other and that's what makes them work. You might find that you end up with a bubbly woman who loves to be the centre of attention to complement you.Just don't be a negative Ned OP and you'll be fine.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 March 2014):
 My husband is humor impaired. It makes my life very difficult as i am very sarcastic.
IF you get jokes and you can enjoy funny things, then it's not a total wash... being able to make jokes is a skill not everyone has, but it doesn't mean you have to be humorless or bland or a stick in the mud.
do i want a guy who has to be the center of attention? no
do i want a guy who is "the life of the party" NO
do I want a guy with a sense of humor? Yes.
big difference.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): I don't think so. Some girls don't like funny sarcastic guys. Plus when you date a girl, she should like you for who you are. You sound alright to me. Maybe you could try some dating websites to find some girls who'll go for people like yourself. I'm sure there are a lot out there. Can you be charming? A lot of girls like charmers even if they're not funny and humorous, if that's a word.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (4 March 2014):
Dear OP,
I don't need a guy to be "funny" in the sense that he has to entertain me or make me laugh with jokes or wit. But I really appreciate it if I can have some fun with the man, for instance if we can both find something to laugh about. This can be some childish inside joke that we develop together over time, or some mistake one of us makes that we can share a laugh about, or a funny movie we enjoy together and then remember the lines together, or when I'm being teased in a funny way.
This kind of humour doesn't require you to do all the "funny" work, but to go along with the situation and see the fun in it, or at least join in and laugh when your girl says something funny. I'd say most men can develop a certain degree of this kind of "funny" as it doesn't require the same talent as being a great entertainer by yourself.
Hope this helped,
E.
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