A
female
age
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*oldenlady09
writes:Dear ok Cupid,I have male friend who I haven't talked to for over a year, asked if I would accompany he and his family to Disney Land n July 2014. He told me that all I have to pay for is my airfare. If this was an invite, don't u think he would pay for me to get there. He's paying for the hotel and entrance to theme park. What do u suggest? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Goldenlady09 +, writes (5 March 2014):
Goldenlady09 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks to all of you for being helpful, but I've decided to decline the offer from an old male friend (boyfriend), I may have confused some of u by saying friend, instead of old boyfriend, b/c of my age. Why would I want to accept a trip with his family that I hardly knows? If he's trying to rekindle a relationship, shouldn't we go some place romantic together? A theme park @ 62 yrs. nope!
These are two different situations, and two different men.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (3 March 2014):
 I assume this is a different man? Not Mr Disney Land?
I think that dating someone so soon after a divorce is very risky. I'd back off. His prolonged attack of hives may be a stress response to the divorce ... or an excuse not to meet again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): I think he will definitely need time to get over his divorce; and make some adjustments emotionally and psychologically.
I'd be cautious around someone who got divorced, after being married for only 18 months. He either has an extremely poor judgement of character, or he's no catch.
I don't think he will be ready to be in a relationship for sometime. So it's up to you. If you are just looking for companionship, but nothing committed. Recent divorcee's are notorious for rebound relationships; so you had better watch out.
You've been dating only since December. I don't think you should hang your heart on expecting anything serious with this man.
However; his offer was considerably generous for not knowing you very long. Why would you expect him to pay for everything?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): What? How did a question about air fare turn into that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): I wouldn't expect a friend to cover my expenses. Normally when you go out with friends everyone pays their own way. I think he is being very generous in paying for a hotel and tickets to the park. He might not have the extra money to pay for everything, but at least he is letting you know upfront what you'd have to cover.
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female
reader, Goldenlady09 +, writes (3 March 2014):
Goldenlady09 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was dating this guy since Dec. 20, 2013. We had a great start, talked every day, went out twice. The problem is he just filed for divorce n Dec after 1 1/2 years of marriage. He had to have her put off the property it was his home before marriage. I'm a widow. We went out for Valentines and had a wonderful time together, he texted me for my bd last week, no phone call for bd just a text. He's been sick with the hives for 4 wks, and been seeking medical treatment, I called last Wed to check on him b/c this isn't like him not to call. Told him I was just concerned, and checking up on him, didn't want to b a bother, just concerned. Do u think I should back off & give him some time to think about his divorce and illness?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 March 2014):
 I suggest he ask someone else who would actually appreciate it for the generous offer that it is.
OP, this friend didn't invite you our for lunch or coffee, but invited you on a trip and all you'd have to cover is your air fare and spending money. it may be part of a package deal, perhaps someone else backed out or it was cheaper to have an extra person. Either way it sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
If a woman friend suggested you both go on a tropical vacation would you expect her to pay your way?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 March 2014):
 It costs nearly 100 per day to go to disney land.
hotels are not cheap either.
I think it's a very generous offer and if you want to go you should say yes and be very grateful. if you can't afford it be very grateful and explain that the air fare is out of your budget.
You say he's a friend you have not talked to for over a year... do you know what prompted the invite?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): Do you want him to pay for the food you eat on the journey there too, or the tampons you may need while there if you're on your period, or the haircut you get before you go?
OP he's a friend, they probably had an extra place available on a package deal that would be cheaper with a certain number of peoples on the holiday they booked and he was being nice in seeing if you wanted to avail of that.
I suggest you go ahead and tell him how rude you think he's being by not paying for your ticket too and come back and tell us his response.
The invite is as it is, you either will take him up on it or you won't. Sounds to me like an awesome offer, with plenty of time to get the money together for the fair and food etc.
OP don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): I think paying for your own air fare and nothing else, is a great value and really cool deal.
My friends have done this for me on many many occasions. I purchased my plane tickets at minimal cost; and I still sprung for meals or drinks in appreciation. They didn't expect me too. That's how much I appreciate them and their invitation. The memories and time we shared together are priceless.
I think he may have thought you would be pleased to receive the invitation, which includes a very generous offer.
If you don't like the deal, you can graciously and most politely decline.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): I thik it's actually very nice of him to just invite you without offering to pay anything for you. For you To pay for your air is not as much at all, considering that only entrance is around 100$.
Our friends invite us but never offer to pay anything.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (3 March 2014):
He is a very generous friend. I hope you can afford the airfare and have a great holiday.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 March 2014):
 I think his offer was appropriate... and the onus is on YOU do decide if you want to take him up on it.....
Good luck....
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (3 March 2014):
 If he is just a friend, your expectations are too high. It was rather generous to pay for the hotel and entrance.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 March 2014):
 Why should he pay the airfare? It's PRETTY generous to offer entrance and hotel.
We had friends come up North to visit us from Kentucky - we INVITED them (and paid for the hotel because we have don't have enough room for guests) but they paid for the gas it took to drive up here. and back.
If you can't afford it, tell him and then he will have to cancel the plans with you. And either find someone else or take his kids by himself.
Hotel and entrance to Disneyland isn't exactly cheap.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): I think what he has offered is a fair deal. He's offering to subsidise your trip and hotels are expensive anyway as is entrance to the park, if you want to spend the time with him then you'd pay the airfare and be grateful he paid the rest.
I find it a bit odd you wouldn't speak to someone for a year then want to go on holiday with them. Did you fall out or just lose touch? If you fell out I probably wouldn't go away at all as being invited on holiday you are kind of obliged to spend a fair amount of time with them!
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 March 2014):
 I don't understand why you feel somebody you have not seen in over 12 months should pay your airfare.
I think his offer to pay hotel and entrance fees is very generous to somebody who is simply a friend not seen for more than 12 months.
If you want to go and can afford the airfare, email and tell him thankyou, you would love to visit Disney Land with him and his family and you will email him your flight details.
If you can afford, but feel for some reason that you should not have to pay then decline the invitation graciously.
If you can't afford the airfare and would like to go, thank him very much for his generous offer, and tell him unfortunately you have to decline on this occasion as you are a little strapped for cash. Ask him to not let this deter him from inviting you again, because when you can afford it you would love to see him and his family.
If you cant afford the airfare and don't want to go, again decline graciously letting him know you appreciate his offer but on this occasion will be declining the invitation.
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