A
male
age
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*ick299
writes:hi my girlfriend and i have split for 2 months now after a drunken argument day after boxing day.we had been together for 12 months previous,prior to that we had a 2.5yr seperation due to myself committing assault on my partner after she had cancelled the wedding we was due to have at the time.i was prosecuted rightly so and attended an idap course which i embraced and learned loads about myself which has definately made me a better person.do you think my partner has left because i may have shown signs of my past and could there be any chance of us getting back?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 March 2014):
 Fool me once shame on you
fool me twice shame on me
so you had a relationship with this young lady and it ended due to violence which probably involved some drinking....
now she lovingly gave you a second chance and you two had a fight that possibly escalated to a level where she felt fear. ( I know that if my husband is drinking there is way more chance [about 95% more] that he will be violent with me than if he's sober)
REGARDLESS of if she was drinking too, REGARDLESs of if she started the fight etc. IF she felt afraid or she felt you were not making progress as expected and she ended the relationship for the second time, I doubt that there is much of a shot of you two getting back together.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 March 2014):
 "Sounds" to me like your lady-friend has learned her lesson... which lesson is that you and she don't make up much of a "couple".... and she doesn't want to risk being your punching bag, again, at any time in the future...
I suggest you start anew with some other woman... IF you are a changed man.... and would like to have a "special" woman-friend and a special relationship....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (2 March 2014):
 Well, you have a history of violence and apparently some issue with the drink, and you haven't heard from the woman in over two months so, yep, that would be my guess.
I don't know if the anonymous male is also you, but I suggest you might want to reign in your alcohol consumption because not much appears to have changed since your original two and a half year break up.
I think there is just too much baggage here and you have too much personal sorting out to do. Let her go, take some time to get yourself straightened out and begin fresh with someone new.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (2 March 2014):
 Do you think you are a fit person to be a loving caring, unvolatile partner? Is she a fit person to bring peace and harmony to a relationship?
You blame her, she blames you...this doesn't make stable grounds for a relationship to grow.
I think you are in denial. You have jumped through a few hoops because the court told you to...but have you really changed as a person inside?
I also want to ask:
If you know alcohol excess leads you both into fights...why do you both do it? It's fine, if that is the lifestyle you want but will it ever lead to a normal peaceful loving relationship...NO...Zero chance!!...You got to accept that.
You also assaulted her and that leaves a HUGE stain on any relationship and there is no getting away from that. Not saying you cannot change...and really you should, unless you want to go to prison. I am sure you covered all this in the course...but has it gone in?...with the drunken argument...probably not.
I think she's gone and I think you need to accept you both killed it and try to move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2014): am i still in denial,minimilisation n blame?? yes. i am.i am an idiot,fool n the rest but it still takes two.we both were drinken to excess over the xmas period.my partner had fallen out with me 3 nights previously over nothing n when i confronted her....|||booom massive argument| ending in? leaving.
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