A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with the guy I've been seeing for the past year because we were on different pages. He agreed with it. But then in a moment of weakness, I texted him that I didn't want that. I feel really stupid about texting him, breaking up is the right thing to do because there's no future with this guy. And he knows that, he's not in a place right now where he wants anything serious. But I haven't heard from him since. What do you think is going through his head?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 March 2014):
 Sounds like HE completed his 1/2 of the breakup, and YOU didn't....
Put his and your "relationship" in your rear-view mirror, forget it, and get on with your life. He has already done so....
Good luck...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2014): "Oh a message. It's from her. She's probably just drunk or emotional, best to ignore her and she'll go away. I think I've seen this movie before, in fact I know I have. Balls better throw on another one instead. Damn anyway, it took me ages to figure out one to watch, maybe I should just watch a few episodes of Breaking Bad. Can't wait for Better Call Saul, I wonder when it's out, I'll check on my phone. Oh yeah she sent me a message, haha, I guess I'm too amazing to resist. Ah there we go, season 3 episode 4, my favourite one."
I'd say that was going through his head.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (2 March 2014):
 Don't feel stupid about texting him. It was just once, a one off mistake. Put it behind you now. I agree with the anonymous poster below: delete his number so texting is no longer an option. Take control.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2014): I've been in a similar situation more than once. Not always me doing the breaking up, but trying to reach out to someone who I cared about and who once cared about me, and getting nothing back. It's hard. It's horrible. And most of all, you can't change it. You can't make that person want to have you in his life.
You broke up with him for a reason. You didn't want the same thing. He couldn't give you what you wanted. That's a very valid reason to end a relationship, in my opinion. You did the right thing. You could have stayed with him and accepted a non-serious relationship, but the pain of going along with something like that when you want more is far worse than being without that person.
The last time this happened to me, I decided I wanted to keep my dignity. I immediately deleted all our texts back and forth, as well as his number and email address. I blocked him on Skype and whatsapp and then I went to bed, got up in the morning, and got on with my life without him in it. Of course it wasn't as easy as I make it sound, it was hard and painful and I thought about him a lot and it bothered me that he didn't seem to care, but this way I was in control of my own life. In moments of weakness I was tempted to text him but couldn't, because I no longer had his number. That was a favour I had done to myself. I suggest you do the same.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 March 2014):
 That, no matter if and what you text him, he still is not in a place right now where he wants anything serious.
And since you say you are on different pages, I take this to mean that you would like instead something more serious - or anyway something different than he wants and can give now. So he figured that it would be pointless to start again the whole debate serious / not serious / how much serious ? etc., since he has not changed his mind.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 March 2014):
What's going through his head is that you broke up with him, you're on different pages, you obviously don't know what you want, and he figures there's no point in talking to you and starting the whole thing up again and ending with the same result all over again.
Stay strong. Stick to you guns. You did the right thing in the first place, now you need to stick with your decision otherwise, you will not be taken seriously. Stick with no contact. It prevents you from feeling like how you feel right now. If you keep up the no contact, you'll feel better. I promise.
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