A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I was supposed to meet my online date in person, for the first time, earlier this afternoon.We have been chatting online for approx 2 months and have been looking forward to meeting each other.I, unfortunately was unable to meet him in person this afternoon, as I had to drive a long way from home and I unexpectedly got caught in heavy traffic on the freeway, as there was a car accident up ahead.I sent my date to be, a text message to inform him of the traffic conditions and that I would be late.He did reply and said , all was OK and that he would wait, as he still has the movie tickets.The problem is that by the time I finally reached the cinema (over 30 mins late!), I could not find him and I walked around for over 30 mins searching for him, but he was not there.I began to get stressed and I admit to feeling very let down by him, as I told him why I was late and he said he would wait for me.I then got quite upset and decided to head back to my car and go home.In the meantime, he had been ringing me, texting me, but by then, I was driving, my mob phone was in my handbag and I didn't hear the phone ringing, as I had accidentally turned my volume down, with all the stress I was feeling.After I got home, I sent him a message of apology and he had already sent me a message too prior, to ask me what had happened to me.He also said that it would have been nice, if I had replied. (I did reply earlier, but not after he sent me further messages, as by then, I was heading back home).His second reply message sent,however, was rather short and dry, compared to all the lovely, long text messages, over the 2 months prior.He ended that message, with a simple, All the Best.In the past, all his emails ended with, take care, look forward to hearing from you + his name.He also told me in previous emails, that he believes in giving second chances, yet he seems to have given up on me completely and I sent him the warmest message, to say sorry about what occurred.I did not act needy or desperate in my message either. It was simply, sincere, logical and apologetic.He still has me listed as an interest on the dating site and he even viewed my profile again today.What should I now do, as I would like to give us a second chance?Should I just accept that he is not interested in me anymore and just move on, or do I just give him time to think about whether i am still worth going out with?I am quite confused.
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (3 March 2014):
 I am glad he is giving you a second chance. Goodluck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thankyou so much to all of you, who took the time to answer my question & give me your opinions & advice!
I am very happy to say, that i arrived home from work tonight, to see that my online date, had sent me another email. He asked me if i would like to go on another date in 2 weeks, as he felt that it was a shame we never got to meet. He also said that he felt we had lots in common & shared similar values, so of course, i was over the moon!
I obviously feel very bad for what i did to him & i did send him an email of deep apology, as he did not answer, when i rang him. (He told me he had taken his dog out for a walk).
I feel honoured, that he would even grant me a 2nd chance, however, i will not screw it up again this time!
I will take all of the wise advice given to me on this page & yes, i don't know why i didn't call him, after i got there. I guess i was feeling pretty nervous & maybe even had cold feet, when i assumed that he may have left.
Either way, what i did was wrong & this man is obviously forgiving to some extent, understanding & appears to be a real gentleman, so he will not be let down by me again.
I will make this meeting, worth his while.
I'll let you all know how it goes! :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2014): Wow, what a fiasco. I bet you were both disappointed the day turned out like and that. It does sound like he's ready to just move on, with the 'all the best' message ending. I guess what happens next depends on if he is willing to have another date. Personally, I'd give it a week, like someone mentioned to let him cool down and then message him and maybe offer to buy the tickets this time. Give yourself plenty of time to get there even leave an hour ahead of time if need be. Good luck, hope it all works out.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (1 March 2014):
It does sound like you kind of stood him up. I also had trouble understanding why you got there and didn't call him or text him to let him know you were there and couldn't find him, and then just decided to leave and ignore your phone.
So apparently, he spent money on movie tickets and then you were a no-show. I would assume he probably felt stupid/humiliated.
You're probably going to have to make it up to him big time. Let him know you weren't thinking clearly and you'd still like to really meet up with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2014): Sounds like a whole mess of factors just didn't want you two to meet that day. It sucks but it happens.
Look he was obviously pissed, as you would be and understandably so, as you didn't really ring him while you were at the cinema to see where he was. You walked around for 30 minutes instead.
I'd honestly find it hard to believe you even showed up because the least I'd expect is you to call as soon as you got to the cinema to say you'd arrived and let's meet somewhere etc.
Give him a day to clam down, then send him a message that you'd like to treat him to dinner near where he lives or something as a means to atone for your errors and show him you're not really a flake and that it was a one off.
As far as he's concerned you're kind of not bothered, so show him you are by making a bit of an effort. You really did waste his time, OP, he went to all that effort and for simply not thinking to give him a call the whole situation got out of hand.
Give it another shot, if he's not interested just take it as a lesson. Always have your phone with you and ring people instead of sending a message.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (1 March 2014):
 I have to ask - why didn't you just phone him when you got to the cinema to ask him where he was, rather than wander around looking for him for half an hour? Why didn't you text him? He is probably going to be wondering exactly the same things, and thinks that you stood him up/ flaked out.
I am not sure what else you can do, maybe give him a few days to cool down and then try and explain once more, and give him a good, sensible reason why you didn't just phone/ text him from the cinema. See how he reacts.
Sorry if that sounds harsh. I know we all make mistakes; maybe you were too flustered to think to phone/ text him, and hopefully he'll be OK with it that explanation.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 March 2014):
 If'n I were him... and had the experience you described (almost being stood up; but under peculiar - and explicable - circumstances), I would take a "second chance" at making a subsequent date with you.... (IF you screwed that up, I'd forget about you - post haste!)...
Soooo, see if you can make that date... then do whatever it takes to keep it!!!!!
Good luck...
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