A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so theres this guy at work and usually i just say hi then carry on with my work. like i dont pay him much attentionrecently every time i walk past him he'll pretend to punch me(without making contact) /lightly punch my arm or like pretend to throw the bottle of water he's holding at me. and if i'm sitting at the desk he'll stretch a rubber band pretending he's going to flick it at me?? i dont understand why he does this/ what it means? he also offers me lifts home too which i accepthe's 60 married with kids and like i dunno i find it weird behaviour for a 60 yr old why would he want to be friends with me i am 20
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (25 February 2014):
 He wants to be "friends" with you because there is nothing one of us old dubbas wants/needs/craves more than a tender young thing, like you, to make US feel young - and sexy - again....
Resist his advances... (Yes, they're "advances"!).... and, if necessary, take him aside and tell him that they're inappropriate, that you aren't interested in them, or him, and that you will take action if he doesn't cease....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2014):
 As a 54 yr old woman with a playful personality and friends of all ages I think you are over thinking this.
I wonder if you may be concerned that he finds you attractive and is going to hit on you.... I don't think that's the issue.
If you are co-workers then you have that in common.
He sounds like he just is trying to get you to relax a bit.
at 60 he's learned that taking everything too seriously is a sure fire way to ruin life.
you spend 8 hours a day at work.. that's more than anywhere else... you might as well relax and have fun with it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2014): He's just mucking around by the sound of it. Some people just never completely grow up and they always have a bit of the child in them (me included). His behaviour doesn't sound like anything to be worried about but if it makes you uncomfortable I'd be keeping a distance.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 February 2014):
 I think he is just being a goofball.
My dad (when he was in his late 50's) would pick up 2 of his younger co-workers in the morning and drop them off if they needed it in the evening- because it was on his way to work and neither had cars. Though I doubt he acted like he was on JackAss - The movie with the younger staff. I do know they would call and ask personal advice and he would usually hand the phone over to my mom (who was brilliant at that)
You do know that 60 year old are people too, right? Just because people grow old doesn't mean they sit quietly in a corner and drool over the younger generation.
If you feel uncomfortable with it, stop accepting rides home.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2014): Sounds to me like he's being a friendly person, kinda sounds like the 'dad approach', he's taken you under his wing. I don't think there's anything sinister about it.
If anything goes any further then you have to make that decision that it's no longer appropriate, but I don't think his behaviour is inappropriate from what you've said. I would assume it's just being friendly.
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A
male
reader, crushed_by_love +, writes (25 February 2014):
He's being friendly! Unless he's totally deluded, he has no other kind of interest in you and is just trying to create a relaxed working relationship with you.If you had any doubts at all about him having ulterior motives towards you, you shouldn't accept lifts from him. You know that don't you?
I sometimes give a lift home to 19 year old girl I work with ( because its 11pm at night) I would be mortified if she thought there was any dubious intent on my part.He would most likely feel the same.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2014): He's trying to make you relax around him. At home,he is used to being around children and young people. If you're tense or unfriendly; it's nervous clowning to let you know he's cool and he wants to get along.
Have you ever worked around someone who snubbed you? If you haven't, in good time you will; and maybe learn how to be more civil and respectful. Politely ask, please don't do that. He'll stop. That's better than cold stares or being snotty.
You obviously walk around him without acknowledging his presence; because of his age. That makes people feel uncomfortable.
Fortunately; you'll get old someday, and see how it feels.
He offers you a ride, because you apparently need one.
All you have to say is "no thank you."
Why would he make the offer if you didn't?
He's not trying to be friends with you, he's trying to make the thick air around him breathable, and being at work more pleasant.
It's just as uncomfortable for him; having to take a job at his age, that is truly meant for people much younger.
That's sometimes not an easy thing to do; but he obviously needs the job. He's slightly embarrassed being there; and your cold-shouldering him because of his age must be awful from his perspective. I guess he's not entitled to courtesy because he's older?
Wish I could be a fly on the wall. I'm sure there is another side to this. It would be most disheartening.
You impolite description is typical of people who aren't used to, or don't respect older people. You treat him like a relic who doesn't have feelings. He's being playful because you're younger than he is and he wants to loosen up and not look down your nose like you about to step in a pile of dog poo.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 February 2014):
 maybe, despite the fact he has kids, maybe he is unsure how to relate to somebody so much younger in the workplace and jovial jokey dad/uncle is the only way he knows how.
Maybe, despite the fact you see his age as a barrier, maybe he is just a friendly guy. Maybe he is the office clown. Maybe he has picked up some negative vibes from you and this is how he is trying to lighten the mood.
You accept lifts from him, so you cant be feeling threatened in any way ...... try talking to him, you never know, underneath all that old age and stuff might be a regular person, just like you and me!
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