Can you cheat in an open relationship?
Q. So I've been in a long term relationship with my partner for the past 9 years. We talk about having children one day and getting married and we already own a home together. We have an extremely happy and healthy relationship and are very open and ...
A. 14 August 2014: It's kind of ironic - and a little sad - that you could submit this question. Why?
Because you describe your's and B/F's as a "semi-open" relationship.... BUT, you know that the "semi" is your's and the "open" is his....
See.... he's ... (read in full...)
I want to explore this new girl but don't want to lose something I already have
Q. Hello readers. I hope you can give me some insight in the hope that I would understand my feelings and know what to do. Firstly I have a gf, been together for 1.5yrs. I don't know if I love her or if I am emotionally attached. She says she loves m...
A. 13 August 2014: What you are experiencing is the "kid in a candy store" syndrome. Get used to it.... as you are going to continue to experience it, from now until the day you die.....
This happens because we guys are sure that there is ALWAYS that perfect ... (read in full...)
Does life get better?
Q. I'm a beautiful girl, skinny nice body always at the gym. But I'm insecure with my boobs , I want implants I don't have the money. I want change in my life , I'm 19 and tired of the same things. When does it all end ? When do I get a better job , ...
A. 10 August 2014: You write: "....But I know I have a problem."
Please look up "President Franklin Delano Roosevelt". During WWII he made a rousing speech which included the phrase, "...we have nothing to fear but fear, itself...."
You could borrow his phras... (read in full...)
He won't get a divorce, should I call it a day?
Q. I've been with boyfriend for around 2 years now, we don't officially live together as I look after my mum but I have a key and spend all my free time at his house! He was separated from his wife for 2 years before we started seeing each othe...
A. 10 August 2014: You write: "....I asked him yesterday to speak to her and he was like "not this again" yet he wants us to have a baby?
What should I do?"
You should keep your knees pressed tightly together... and tell "Mr Wonderful-bu... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 10 August 2014: If you and he have been "best buds" for a long time.... then, you and he had an imprompteau coming-together-of-the-minds... (and, possibly, of the loins)..... it's quite likely that his inability to "get it up" was understandable, and not likely ... (read in full...)
Is it important that you like the engagement ring that your boyfriend gave you?
Q. Hi aunty! My boyfriend proposed to me last year and now were getting married this year. But i dont like the ring he bought me I told him before i want a specific designs. But he bought different. Which i always tell him about it but not to be in...
A. 10 August 2014: Yes, you're being too "material"..... and your B/F - nee fiance - will be lucky if you and he don't go through with the marriage.....
YOU will not be so lucky, as you'll have screwed up making a marriage and life with a great guy... and now, you... (read in full...)
If you keep your partner very sexually satisfied. does that make them less likely to look at or fantasize about other girls?
Q. My boyfriend has a few good looking female friends. He has ample opportunity to cheat but I don't think he would. I was just wondering, if you keep your partner very sexually satisfied does that make them less likely to look at other girls or ...
A. 9 August 2014: WE guys are interesting creatures. We might have a delightful partner (such as YOU are, apparently)... but we STILL are willing to risk that (the partnership with you) because we believe that there really IS some greener grass on somebody else's ... (read in full...)
13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women"
Q. I woul love some advise please. 13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women" he was a virgin when we met (not that he told me) and he regrets not sleeping with more women. He works away a lot and ...
A. 9 August 2014: How unfortunate.... Perhaps you could relate to him my experiences?
I have "been with" oodles of ladies during my life. What I've finally figured out, is that, after the lights go out, they are ALL beautiful and sexy....
What Hubby needs to l... (read in full...)
My family won't support me because I didn't go to university!
Q. My family are stressing me out. I can never please them, no matter what I do. They are serioulsy struggling to accept the fact I didn't go to University. I really didn't want to go- it wasn't the route I wanted to take in life, it was what THEY...
A. 6 August 2014: Why bother "getting them off your back???... and accepting you for who you are?????"
Who's going to live your life? YOU? .... or, them????
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why do I feel guilty even though I didn't cheat?
Q. I am married to a lovely man who I love dearly. I would never intentionally hurt him. Anyway, last week I was at a party at my friends house. No one knew each other, and there was a bit of an awkward silence. I noticed the guy sitting next to ...
A. 5 August 2014: I can't add to the good advice you've gotten ahead of my submittal.... but I DO have this question: What were you doing alone at a party such as this one? On the face of it, THAT looks suspicious, to me....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
What are ways my fiancé can prove to me he wont cheat again and to regain my trust?
Q. So in may this yr. I have to go to jail for some owed back child support. While im gone for 25 days my fiancé takes it upon himself to "not put his life on hold" and decided to cheat. He said he blacked out from within an hr before up to in the ...
A. 5 August 2014: The only way to "prove" that one won't repeat an infidelity is for time and time and time to pass, WITHOUT repeating that indiscretion.
YOU get to determine when he has remained faithful for long enough to be "trusted" again....
If all his be... (read in full...)
Should I leave him for good for lying and verbally abusing me?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, but from the second time I met him he talked about a 'friend' constantly. Every time I'd see him she'd be brought into the conversation somewhere. Then after a few weeks he said it was his ex ...
A. 5 August 2014: My "answer" to your question is another question: What took you so long?
Good luck...... (read in full...)
She won't allow me to kiss or touch her, she's pregnant by so-called rape, why the change?
Q. hey guys i have been dating this girl for a year and everything seems fine and she is pregnant with the soo called rape child she doesnt allow me to kiss or touch her ,i feel like i dont exist even though we stay together and share the same bed ...
A. 5 August 2014: "Rape child"? Are you - or are you NOT - the father of this child? Two widely-differing "replies" depending upon that answer........ (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance with my ex but only told him we kissed.
Q. My fiance and I have been together for over 5 years and we are set to be married in a month and a half. I ended up sleeping with my ex and told my fiancé that we kissed. I was going to tell him the whole truth but he went ballistic anyway. He was ...
A. 4 August 2014: You write: "I can't help but feel that I need to stay because I gave him my word to marry him."
Didn't you - by inference - also give him your word that you would be faithful? .... so much for "your word..."
I would suggest that you be hone... (read in full...)
I am suspicious of this married guy and don't trust him. He's hinted he'd like a relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I am feeling really down about an issue to do with a guy who 'came on' to me about a year or so ago. When I first got to know him he was a friend of my (now ex) partner, who I was with for 17 years. My gut instinct when I met this person was ...
A. 2 August 2014: I measured your submittal on my monitor screen. It takes up 24 inches!!!!!! Throughout it all.... I couldn't help thinking, "this girls sounds like she's pretty smart..... why can she not see that she is dealing with a cad who has no interest in ... (read in full...)
Why is it so easy for men to break their SO heart?
Q. Im looking for guys opinions ....... I'm desperate to understand what men are thinking and the reasoning why they need to talk, flirt, cheat with other girls while they have a faithful loyal loving wife, family or girlfriend. How is it so easy for ...
A. 2 August 2014: Sometimes, I wonder why women will refer to their man-friends as people. Why not just call them "lawn specialists?" Why?
Because most every man.... regardless how wonderful, warm, beautiful and sexy his G/F, S/O is.... is on the lookout to see i... (read in full...)
Need tips to help a player boy falling madly in love with me but not handling it well
Q. I am dealing with a man who is having difficulty handling Love and handling it very strangely. I am concerned for his wellbeing. Well I met this guy a month and some days ago who from what I was told by many, he was a bad boy you know AKA player p...
A. 2 August 2014: We can "cut to the quick" swiftly with your submittal.
Let's concentrate upon your: "....I am dealing with a man who is having difficulty handling Love..." and interpret that.....
What you are REALLY dealing with, is a man who is having di... (read in full...)
Should I marry a female therapist/psychologist?
Q. I just thought i would ask this question. Basically I'm a sensitive man....not a weak man...but i had a very unhappy childhood/ dysfunctional family. And alot of bad things have happened in my life...(bad luck, life failures, betrayals by others ...
A. 2 August 2014: My hint:
You can't do a DAMN THING to change what happened in your past. You CAN do all sorts of things to make your future better....
Concentrate on the future - only - and let the past fade in to your distant memories....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I'm not into some of the things he does. Am I a prude? What should I do?
Q. Hey, I'm in a new relationship and the sex is already an issue! I've addressed a few issues but I'm worried I'm being a complete prude! The 2 issues I've yet to mention are these - When he drinks he wants sex but needs help getting hard then...
A. 2 August 2014: Soooo... what you're really telling us, is that you and this guy are 180 degrees out of sync on what "sex" and/or "intimacy" really is.
How long do you suppose you should put up with his antics, before/until you realize that he is the EXCEPTIO... (read in full...)
Major in-law issues and my husband is too controlling. Is my reaction to my abusive husband justified?
Q. My husband has been controlling me in all sorts of ways. He has made it quite difficult for me to have a relationship with my mother by calling her numerous names and whenever I wished to speak to her I had to put the phone on loud speaker so he co...
A. 2 August 2014: There is really only ONE WAY to deal with a controlling and abusive husband such as you described in our submittal.
YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM and NEVER LOOK BACK...
I think that should be clear enough....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I am torn between two women. Should I stay as I am, 80% happy, or make a decision?
Q. Hi, I had an affair with a woman 3 years ago and we just connected. My marriage ended, although that was one reason, it was not the main one. After the marriage ended the woman I had the affair with said she could not be with me as she was m...
A. 2 August 2014: Take a few steps back... and a few deep breaths.... and consider these details of your situation:
1. The woman who you had the affair with.... was neither committed enough to you - and/or lacked the guts - to cast her lot with you. Do you REAL... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he want to be honest and talk? What is wrong with him and his libido?
Q. I have been with my Fiancée for 5 years and about 2 years ago his libido and need for sex started declining drastically. We used to have a great sex life. After talking, reading, being patient, supporting him and being constantly rejected when I ...
A. 1 August 2014: I've said it again and again on this site..... If two people cannot reconcile their sexual/sensual/intimate interactions... then they cannot have a "relationship" or marriage. Be glad that he tipped his hand now, rather than after you and he were ... (read in full...)
Why marry me if I wasn't his type?
Q. Why would my husband have married me when I was cjwarky not his type ? All through our marriage he would make little comments about my looks .. Implying that there were things about me that disappointed him . He was constantly looking at other ...
A. 1 August 2014: ... so.... why would you waste any time and mental energy even THINKING about this guy?????... (read in full...)
Any advice on ending this relationship?
Q. I started talking to this girl a little over a month ago online. we seemed to get along well have some similar interests so i asked her to meet. i didnt feel any sparwhen we metks or anything but i figured thats just because we are still just ...
A. 25 July 2014: Making the break from a potential friendship/relationship that you have figured isn't going anywhere.... is much like jumping in to a pond that you KNOW is cold water.
For the pond, you hold your nose, jump in, and anticipate that you are going to... (read in full...)
I feel like a booty call without the sex! Should I give him a chance or run for the hills?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month now. My issue is for some reason if I plan a date something family related always comes up and he either ends up coming really late or rescheduling. The huge thing is we always end up hanging out ...
A. 25 July 2014: Trust your intuition.... this guy is really looking at you as a potential "booty call"..... even tho' YOU are desparately trying to give him a "pass" for his doing all the things that "tell you" that he is seeing you as a booty call....
You c... (read in full...)
Every time I sleep with him I fall more in love with him! Advice needed, please!
Q. I've been sleeping with this guy on and off for about 6 years when I say on and off I mean 2-3 time a year. Each time I've seen him I've fell more and more In love with him. The only problem is he's married with a kid, this is where it gets ...
A. 24 July 2014: The "Answer" to your dilemma is so clear, AND, so cliche...
YOU are enamored of him - believing (incorrectly) that he is a great guy....
HE is USING YOU... and will continue to do so for as long as you allow it....
How about dumping his... (read in full...)
Why would someone block their profile after sending a message?
Q. I am on match.com ... I wrote someone a quick note whose profile looked interesting. He wrote back this real long letter that was quite pleasant but ended with the statement that he wasn't on the site on a daily basis .and gave me his e-mail ...
A. 23 July 2014: He's got SOMETHING to hide... or, has ignoble motives.
You'll be wise to "pass" on him....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Will he still like me if I wear something different?
Q. I met this guy a few weeks ago and we have been on quite a few dates. The first time we met I was wearing a skirt with a slip underneath. As he told me then and keeps telling me since, that he loves me wearing such clothes, I have always dressed ...
A. 20 July 2014: I think you SHOULD go ahead and wear something outside the realm that you know is his schtick. THEN, you will find out if he is in to your clothes, or YOU!!!!
Good luck....
P.S. I always try to convince girls that I like them WITHOUT clo... (read in full...)
I don't want to give him an ultimatum, either pick me or masturbation/porn but his choice is having an impact on our sex life. What would you do?
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months has a lot of great qualities but our sex life is lacking. He can't always maintain an erection when we're having sex or when he can he can sometimes he still can't orgasm. He says he watches a lot of porn and masturb...
A. 20 July 2014: It's OK for you to tell him, "choose me, or porn".... and, then, if he chooses porn, you know that YOU are "second fiddle". You really shouldn't choose to be that....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got another girl pregnant
Q. i would like to ask about my boyfriend of six years. he got another girl pregnant. i saw them dating through the pictures in facebook. i ask my boyfriend first but he refuse to answer. thats why i directly ask the girl. she said that my boyfriend is ...
A. 6 July 2014: "Sounds" to me like your "boyfriend" has a WHOLE 'nother life going on... and YOU aren't in it.
Are you content with that???? OR, do you realize that you'll be much better off once you dump this cad and get on with your life....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says for our relationship to survive I need to start surprising him sexually
Q. Quick and short... My boyfriend says that for our relationship to survive I need to start "surprising" him sexually. One of his versions of being surprised is a spontaneous blowjob in the car. That's pretty much all the hints he has given me! An...
A. 6 July 2014: Here's MY idea: He's a self-centered, self-serving (and immature) narcissist; and you'll be better off when you figure out that guys like that don't make very good "boyfriends".. and you dump him and go out and find a NICE boyfriend...
Good ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is as unromantic as can be
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. We connect so well in everything. He challenges me intellectually, is fun, sweet, affectionate. The thing is, he is as unromantic as a person can be. As an example, he lives right across t...
A. 6 July 2014: When you "outlove" your partner, it can be terribly frustrating that they don't seem to understand that THEY could reciprocate.....
With that in-mind, it's fair ONLY that you give him a few hints.... more and more explicit.... and, if he doesn't ... (read in full...)
One night stand trouble
Q. Dear readers, I wonder does anyone have similar a similar problem: Lately any guy that I have sex with doesn't seem to be able to maintain an erection. I understand that nerves etc. can play havoc and mixed with alcohol can also play havoc, but...
A. 6 July 2014: I suppose the only way to be able to give you a real, and complete reply/response would be to have you visit me (or, have me visit you).... for thorough testing and diagnosis of your problem. When would you like to do that?
P.S. Do you have goo... (read in full...)
Is it true that white girls don't like Indian guys?
Q. Hi, i'm an Indian. I am 20 years but i didnt ever travelled out of India. But soon i am going to visit some countries. My problem is I want to date with a white girl. But i am worried about do they like me or not. I am shy to approach them. One of ...
A. 3 July 2014: Don't waste your time and mental energy generalizing "white girls." If you want to interact with "girls" (young women) then do so. Don't go in with a predisposition that any one of them (or, all of them) is/are not going to be interested in you ... (read in full...)
Can a married person having an affair have the right to accuse the partner of being deceitful?
Q. Does this make any sense or am I wrong? Here's the scenario: a single guys is having a torrid love affair with a married woman for a long time. He only sleeps with her but does socialize with other women, and men of course, from time to time, bu...
A. 3 July 2014: The form of your "question" sounds as if you believe that there is a fixed amount of angst and vitriole available in the world... so, if the wronged spouse uses it - toward the cad who is cheating with the wife - then there's none left for the cad ... (read in full...)
Was she reasonable to accuse me of emotional cheating?
Q. Here we go on the merry-go-round once again. Our relationship started to go down hill. I had been married before, and I admit to cheating, so I vowed not to make that same mistake again. So when I met V, I took my time and listened, when she said...
A. 3 July 2014: Sooo.... let her go, and chalk this up as your getting attracted to a girl who was insecure and had an agenda that you couldn't tolerate...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I like a married guy. How do guys behave when they have genuine feelings for girl Versus if they just want sex?
Q. I like a guy whose older than me. He's married, I'm not. He's only really made a sexual joke once or twice. Other than that, he tells me i'm pretty/cute, he holds doors, tries to make me laugh, compliments me, goes out of his way to talk to me an...
A. 3 July 2014: When a guy has GENUINE feelings for a girl, he acts nice to her.
When a guy wants SEX from a girl, he also acts nice toward her.... EXCEPT it's all a facade, which he needs to keep up until he gets her to put out....
YOU (lucky lady) have to tr... (read in full...)
I'm unemployed, my family support me, he lost his job and wants me to give him money to relocate
Q. Why is he so angry? Is this an abusive relationship? So my bf lost his job and he's having a had time finding another one. I've been supporting him with money for food. Phone bills etc Now be wants to relocate for a job and he's told me to...
A. 3 July 2014: He's revealed himself to be quite a bully. Is THAT the kind of man who you want in your life? I suspect "No."
So.... dump him. Let him go on in his wretched life, by himself...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My Bf's family bully me and my Bf never stands up for me. How can I cope with this?
Q. I am hoping that you may be able to help me find the way on this problem... I don't especially like my boyfriend's family. It is very strange as he is entirely different to them. To describe them will sound critical I am afraid but they are loud, se...
A. 1 July 2014: It "sounds" like you and boyfriend are in a dilemma.
YOU can't adjust how you feel about his family; HE can't seem to relax the hold they have on him... and turn his attentions to you.
My guess? ... is that you will, ultimately, find... (read in full...)
I'm confused about what "true love" is?
Q. I just have a question about the definition/s of "true love". I've dated many guys but I never felt as strongly as I did about my ex. We were together for a year. He was 2 years younger than me (16). I would have done anything for him and I always...
A. 1 July 2014: Perhaps it would be helpful if you got guys' points-of-view about true love. You'll find that they run across an entire spectrum defined thusly:
1. Some guys can't experience "love" while they and their partner have clothes on, and,
2. Oth... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to want a partner who desires me and finds me attractive?
Q. I have been married 16 years and have been bothered by something that may seem trivial to some people. I am aware that all people will notice other attractive people but my husband seems to have a real issue with this and I have talked to him about ...
A. 29 June 2014: "... seem trivial.." Hell, NO!!! It's HUMUNGOUS!!!! .... and if this creep hasn't (and can't, or won't) figure it out.... then you are well rid of him.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
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