A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessRiches
writes:I am married to a lovely man who I love dearly. I would never intentionally hurt him.Anyway, last week I was at a party at my friends house. No one knew each other, and there was a bit of an awkward silence. I noticed the guy sitting next to me had lots of tattoos, so I started up a conversation about tattoos, just to break the ice. I had NO further intentions other than that. Anyway, I got VERY drunk, and the guy I was talking to made me a strong coffee to try to sober me up. As we were chatting, he kept telling me how pretty I was and how he'd love to go out with me. I drunkenly said thanks, but I am married. He then asked if I was single, would I go out with him. I drunkenly (and stupidly) said if I was single I probably would, but the fact was I wasn't single so I couldn't possibly. He then asked if I'd kiss him, just once, and I said no, I was not cheating on my husband. He then said I might as well have already cheated on him, because I said if I were single I'd have gone out with him. I only said this because I was drunk (I was NOT attracted to the guy in any way). I know technically I haven't done anything wrong, but what he said has really played on my mind. I feel so guilty for something I didn't do... and I feel I've let my husband down. Any advice on what to do now would be really appreciated guys, thanks:)xxxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): I don't believe in moral relativity, but you didn't do anything wrong.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 August 2014):
 Eh, no reason to feel guilty. AT ALL.
Going to a friends house, getting drunk, having a FLIRTY conversation with a hot guy is not a NO-NO in my book.
You set the record straight by telling him you are married. And you didn't "take" the offered kiss, you turned him down.
Being married doesn't mean you can NEVER EVER talk to another good looking guy. It doesn't mean that you WON'T find other guys (than your husband) attractive. You are married, not dead.
You didn't cheat. You flirted.
Let it go.
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A
female
reader, PrincessRiches +, writes (5 August 2014):
PrincessRiches is verified as being by the original poster of the question I was alone at the party because my wedding vows said to be faithful to my husband, but I never vowed I couldn't go to parties with my friend's or drink without him.
You guys have been great, I feel much better now, and I'm gonna be much more careful about drink because it alters judgement. Even though I still wouldn't have cheated, I would have seen the psychological manipulation if I was sober and would probably have gone home.
Will definitaly avoid getting drunk and keep my wits about me around men in future. Thanks v. much for the advice everyone:) x
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 August 2014):
 I can't add to the good advice you've gotten ahead of my submittal.... but I DO have this question: What were you doing alone at a party such as this one? On the face of it, THAT looks suspicious, to me....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, PrincessRiches +, writes (5 August 2014):
PrincessRiches is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks very much guys, I feel a lot better now:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): You did nothing wrong and didn't let your husband down at all. However, you may want to avoid getting drunk in the future for two reasons:
1) it leaves you vulnerable
2) you say silly things :P
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): Honestly, I think you've done nothing wrong. Did you actually cheat on your husband even in the slightest such as kissing the man?If no, then you've committed no error. However, feeling guilty over your husband shows the signs of a good wife, so there you go.As for the single part, who wouldn't date if they're still single. There's no shame in saying you'll date but you knew that in reality you're married and you showed loyalty to your husband. Still, in hindsight, you should avoid men like these in the future. Judging from your article, you made it sound like he still wanted to do things to you even though you said no. That should be enough to tell you that this man didn't respect you or the boundaries that came with a married woman. Not to mention, he tried trapping you with your words, which is a psychological method. You are not CHEATING unless you did cheat so if you didn't do it. You did not do it! Also try to be careful with psychological manipulation.And try not to drink too much in the future for obvious reasons. I hope this answer helps. =)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 August 2014):
 Dont feel guilty. He only said that to try and get you to kiss him. What you said was nowhere near cheating. You know the circumstances, you know youd never do anything like that, and you know why you said what you said. This guy was just twisting it, trying to make you cheat. You stood up against temptation, and he just got sulky about it. So tried to bring you down to his level. Dont think about it any longer, because what he said isnt true. Its not as well as cheating to say what you did...
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