Should I cut all ties with my toxic abusive family?
Q. My family are toxic. My mother is mentally unstable who abused me when I was a young child. My father is cold and distant towards me and has never praised me or gone out of his way to do anything for me. I have 2 sisters. One is self obsessed and ...
A. 30 August 2014: If you should cut all ties - forever - with this interesting bunch of people who you describe... THEN,, you will have absented yourself from them in the strangely- common situation wherein wherein toxic people get an epiphany and become something ... (read in full...)
Can you really teach yourself to sing?
Q. How an earth is this possible.... My sister is 20 and I've known since we were little she can't sing, she usually signs around the house and it's not bad but she's not great either. Well she's been at uni for the past 8 months and has been teachin...
A. 29 August 2014: Come by when I am in the shower, some time, and you'll swear that you are listening to Roy Orbison. I "taught" myself to sing EXACTLY like him!!!!! Yes, it can be done.
... (read in full...)
He says he's not in love with me and wouldn't introduce me to his family.. should I walk away?
Q. Hello guys, I'm a 19-year-old girl who has been dating this 31-year-old Irish guy for 3 months. We have our problems, but we get along. He's fun, caring and all and we're in a committed relationship. The trouble is that when we were joking around ...
A. 29 August 2014: His message was loud and clear to those of us who are familiar with how guys speak. He said:
"I really like to have sex with you... but I don't value you as either a partner/girlfriend or human being. I want to stay with you only to take sexual a... (read in full...)
Do you think sex talk is this woman's way of trying to lead me into an affair?
Q. I have a woman friend who is married. I see her every week for dinner with a group of friends. We hit it off quite well having a lot of common interests. Lately she's been telling me how unhappy she is with her husband, that her marriage is ...
A. 28 August 2014: As far as I can see, whether or not she's trying to entice you in to an affair is of no importance. What IS important is whether or not YOU want to go for that affair.
IF you are an honorable man, who will not justify his dalliance under th... (read in full...)
Everyone says, 'Do what you love' but I don't know what career I would love
Q. I'm 19 and have currently finished my final year in college. I applied to go to University however over the summer I have been thinking a lot about my career and I'm not 100% sure Journalism is what I want to do with my life. After thinking...
A. 28 August 2014: You're in luck!!!! .... because you can try any number of "careers" before you have to feel that you are "stuck" doing something that doesn't interest you... and, which you don't find rewarding.... THAT is one of the benefits of being ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't look at other girls...lying?
Q. Basically, my boyfriend lies about looking at other girls. I've always known that men, even in a committed relationship, look at other women. Obviously I know some do it more than others and for some there's just glance. My boyfriend claims he ...
A. 27 August 2014: I was hopelessly in love with a girl, once.... and SHE told ME that I was gawking at - and lusting over - other women. I asked her what did she expect me to do???? She said, (approximately), point your eyes down and don't make eye contact with any ... (read in full...)
How to play hard to get, during SEX?
Q. I'd like to sort of drive my new guy crazy before giving in to sex when I'm at his place next time. How do I go about doing this subtly, sort of playing hard to get until he gets really fustrated and just can't resist anymore? I'm thinking maybe let ...
A. 27 August 2014: Sharing SEX is not a game... It's an expression of love, concern, respect and lust for one-another....
I've spent time with women who wish to make SEX a game. I never seem to get past the opening bell.... because it's not a game, after all...
... (read in full...)
I feel threatened by his beauty standards.
Q. I have major body image issues. I get extremely insecure about everything. I'm a perfectionist, and my body (of course) isn't perfect. As in, it's not up to either the female ideal (fashion models) nor the male ideal (strippers, porn stars). My b...
A. 27 August 2014: WHERE the heck ARE you????? And WHY would you put up with your "B/F" and/or the surroundings that you describe???
More info, please....... (read in full...)
Should I even try to save this relationship?
Q. Hey guys here's my situation, Me and my girlfriend of almost 3 years recently went our separate ways. For about the last 7 to 8 months I've pretty much sleep on the couch 3 to 4 times a week due to problems with her and having a 1 year old son with ...
A. 27 August 2014: Biscuit: You're 30-35 Y.O..... and you and your "G/F" are still acting like teenagers???? WHEN are you and she going to become adults?????
You ask: "....should I even try to save this relationship?????..."
I ask: "WHAT relationship????... (read in full...)
His ex won't leave us alone.
Q. What can i do to get my boyfriends ex girlfriend to find somebody else .she wont stop telling that she is still in love with him .And i have told her hiw i feel about it and she dont care about how i feel....
A. 25 August 2014: She doesn't have to care about - or, even give a darn - about how you feel. What you described is a dynamic which includes her and your new "boyfriend."
Bring the subject up to HIM... and ask him what is going on between him and his ex-.... ... (read in full...)
I cant stand my boyfriend's family and things with my boyfriend are starting to fall apart as well. What do I do?
Q. Iv been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now, engaged for a year. I agree that I rushed into this relationship and I have nothing to say in my defense. I had known him for many years because we worked in the same place and he seemed great. ...
A. 25 August 2014: Nothing in your submittal "tells me" that you are in love with this guy.... and/or could, or should, be looking forward to spending your life with him....
How about breaking things off now? .... before they ("things") get more complicated because,... (read in full...)
I feel like my mother's insensitivity is ruining our relationship
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. I need some help with a problem I have been having with my mother. I am 18, 5'11 and around 66kg. I've been modelling on-off for the past two years but I've always found it hard as my body type is more athletic than most ...
A. 24 August 2014: Spend 'way less time listening to your Mother... and 'way more time listening to that voice in your head that sez "...you are one beautiful (and hot!) young woman.... who others (women) would die to be so gorgeous.... and you SHOULD be a model - as ... (read in full...)
I am constantly being used by guys!
Q. Hi there, For some reason, I'm constantly being used by guys. It all started when my boyfriend had slept with me then cheated on me with another girl. Ever since then, I've had no self confidence and doubt myself a lot. I thought it was time for...
A. 24 August 2014: I think you're seeing that there is a "lesson" here.... that teenage boys are "all about" their penises, and getting girls to remove their clothes.....
YOU will be wise to absorb that lesson, and NOT be that girl who DOES remove her clothes.... (read in full...)
Does him finding ME attractive mean he doesn't find his wife attractive?
Q. I wanted to know if I have done the right thing or was there a chance that he was sort of serious about that me? There was a mutual crush between us, however we are both committed. His wife works in the same place as he does so do I, however, t...
A. 24 August 2014: What he "knows" is that YOU are sending him signals that his desire to have a fling with you might be "going somewhere".... and HE is going to pursue this until he gets you to put out - surrupticiously - OR, you are going to come to your senses and ... (read in full...)
I don't mind helping with the chores but this is just too much!
Q. Hello friends and foes, just got some stuff to ask, as always. Now, no one really likes chores, just because it's work and work isn't fun. Call me a brat, or whatever, you're probably right. My dad recently has been over booking me with chores...
A. 24 August 2014: Oooops, I forgot to tell you... that the time I spent operating the dairy, with my Father, was some of the greatest years of my life. I learned - from him - that hard work is not only gratifying.... but that there is a special reward that you get ... (read in full...)
I don't mind helping with the chores but this is just too much!
Q. Hello friends and foes, just got some stuff to ask, as always. Now, no one really likes chores, just because it's work and work isn't fun. Call me a brat, or whatever, you're probably right. My dad recently has been over booking me with chores...
A. 24 August 2014: You write: "...Now, no one really likes chores, just because it's work and work isn't fun. Call me a brat, or whatever, you're probably right."
WHO told you that "no one really likes chores " ...and "work isn't fun?"
When I was your age, my... (read in full...)
He proposed, but every weekend is taken up with his children ... what if I want a child too?
Q. Hi. My bofriend proposed 2 months ago. As he has 2 kids with ex, he spent Saturdays taking them out somewher, dropped them back at their mom's because she doesn't like them sleeping out and on Sunday took them to visit their grandmother from about ...
A. 24 August 2014: Give the ring back to him.... and find a man who doesn't have such baggage. You'll be much happier... and this guy will have no encumberances on his time with his kids.... Everybody wins....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Is my reaction to the sudden breakup normal or am I just in shock?
Q. The day before my birthday my partner decided to break off the relationship for three reasons, first that I was too emotionally dependent on him, the second that he was holding me back from my dreams and the third being that he doesn't trust his ...
A. 24 August 2014: Ye, it's normal; ... and, yes, you're in shock.... HOWEVER,
...Let's go back to the break-up. The three points that you enumerated ALL fall in to the category of "... it's not you; it's me....." which, as we all know, is B/S!!!
He has/had be... (read in full...)
Am I now the workplace joke?
Q. Im the 3rd oldest at work, 95% my colleagues are under 31. my handwriting isnt good , I try and its kind of ok and legible, but it will never be "really neat." Part of my job means writing and documenting at times, I do my best but since i was ...
A. 23 August 2014: Cindy was "telling it as it is."..... and you ARE exhibiting 'way too much sensitivity.....
That said, let me relay a story about my first boss, after college. This man was a delightful gentleman... and, to him, I owe an enormous debt of gratitud... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's abusive ex girlfriend
Q. Hi. I feel so helpless to my boyfriend who ive been with for almost 6 months. He has a child at the age of almost 7 months and in he past relationship for 3 years his ex was quite physically abusive and nasty. She has still been doing it since th...
A. 23 August 2014: This is really between your B/F and this girl, who you describe. WHY take his travails upon yourself?
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I found out he watches porn and it makes me feel cheated
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and a couple of months ago I found out that he watches porn. I feel cheated on and lied to because he has always said that he doesn't watch porn because he loves and respects me too much to do so. I know a lot ...
A. 23 August 2014: 5 years.... and you're, just now, learning this??????
Time for you to decide if there really is a future with this guy.... NOT because he watches porn (as you recently learned).... but because you should be uneasy about what ELSE he has kept fro... (read in full...)
How should I tell this woman that the man she loves isn't who he says that he is?
Q. I am in total shock. I was dating a really wonderful, fun man for 10 months, who was doing important research in the medical field. We saw each other about once a week, and rarely on weekends, as he was always working on grants and papers, trying to ...
A. 22 August 2014: My two-fold answers:
1. We guys can be so resourceful and stealthy when we want to get a girl in bed. AND, many of us show no remorse when we are found out. Looks like that applies to your boy...., and,
2. I'd let this sleeping dog lie... (read in full...)
We want a boy but I don't want my husband to be disappointed if it isn't
Q. Hello! I am 12 weeks pregnant, due in March 2015! My husband wants, a little boy, therefore I do to. I even talk to my stomach as if I were having a boy. But lately I have had a lot of anxiety inside me. I am so worried that, I will have a girl, I ...
A. 22 August 2014: Put your mind at-ease. If he was wearing his boots, whilest you and he were conceiving this child, you can be sure it will be a boy!!!
Congratulations and good luck...... (read in full...)
My boss is a bully.
Q. My boss is a bully, he belittles my ideas and opinions,isolates me at work and even doesn't give me any feedback unless its negative. i have asked for a job evaluation and he has not replied my email. I cant just quit because i have a family to...
A. 20 August 2014: It's always difficult to work under a boss who doesn't seem to give a darn about you or your ideas. HOWEVER, he is "the boss".... and he probably knows that he needs to have you on the payroll.....
That said, I suggest that you do an Internet... (read in full...)
Experiences with losing your virginity in a one night stand or to a FWB??
Q. So recently I was asked by a friend I have know since I was five if I wanted to have sex with him in a fwb kinda thing. My problem with this is that I am virgin. I'm just wondering what are some experiences anybody has had with losing their ...
A. 19 August 2014: This old guy thinks that a girl's virginity is too precious to be given out in a ONS or FWB arrangement as if it was a breath-mint. Love yourself enough to hold on to your integrity....
Good luck..... (read in full...)
They say your first kiss is your best, how do I get over the fact that I'm not my boyfriend's first?
Q. This is driving me insane....can anyone help please? So me and my bf are in love but recently I've been getting really insecure about his past especially the fact that I wasn't his first kiss but he was mine. It never bothered me before but I accide...
A. 18 August 2014: Perhaps it would be helpful if you learned this:
When people say, "...your first kiss is your best kiss... it DOESN'T mean, literally, your first kiss EVER!!!! It means the first kiss that you give to your B/F or G/F THAT DAY!!!!! You actually... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend wont pay back money I lent him!
Q. I recently asked my ex to payback some money he owes me. It's not much (150 dollars) but still, I think it is only fair he pays me back. I know he is strapped on cash and I am doing much better financially, but I don't understand how someone could ...
A. 18 August 2014: You may take your place in the line of ooodles of people who have "lent" money to friends/family/partners/lovers and who are never going to see repayment...
The prevailing wisdom is: "Only lend money to someone (the list above) if you can hone... (read in full...)
High school, girls, and phobias, Oh my!
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, long time no see. Like, 2 months. Well, I have a new problem, and this is going to annoy me until I get an answer, so your support would be appreciated. In about a week, 10th grade is starting for me, and by God, I got th...
A. 18 August 2014: You clear your mind of all the angst and difficulties that you are imagining will take place.... You exhibit good posture.... You smile, always.... and make pleasant conversation.... Make you body language - and your actual language "say" "I'm ... (read in full...)
My recovering drug addicted boyfriend has gone AWOL .... again!
Q. Hi everyone I come here in despair, hoping to gain some insight from objective people. I have been dating a guy who is a recovering drug addict. We have been together for just over three months. At the beginning of our relationship, h...
A. 18 August 2014: For those of us who don't have to endure what you are experiencing... it's easy to say; "Why bother with this guy? He's got his Demons. Don't make them your's."
That is my advice....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
The scar from my boyfriend's circumcision makes me sad
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I could use some advice here. My boyfriend is circumcised, and often when we're intimate I notice his scar and I feel really sad about it. Like, he was born perfect and then his parents/doctors decided to cut off a really sen...
A. 17 August 2014: I wasn't circumsized after I was born.... The reason is; because the Doctor told my parents that - due to the enormous size of my manhood - he wasn't sure that I would survive a circumcision... since it would reduce my body-weight by about ... (read in full...)
The swinging lifestyle destroyed our perfect relationship :(
Q. I am in serious need of advice! I have been in an extremely happy, carefree, fun, loving relationship for the last 7 years now. He has always been aloof since I've known him up until the last 3 years. He has opened up to me, not so much with words ...
A. 17 August 2014: "Sounds" to me like you have chosen to split yourself in to two pieces.....
One piece is the one who loves your current B/F....and wants to believe that the loving B/F you had just those few short years ago is still dwelling within him... and YOU ... (read in full...)
I want to hate my boyfriend so I can leave him
Q. Dear Cupid Im with my current bf for past 4 years. Its been 6 months since we actually had a good talk, went on a romantic date.... I just come home from work, cook dinner and wait for him, he hangs around with his friends after work, come home ...
A. 17 August 2014: You write: "I feel like a idiot for still loving him. Why cant i just hate his sorry ass. I want to hate him, so i can leave him. Please help me..."
1. Yes, you are being idiotic by staying with this guy,.... since he seems to care not a whit a... (read in full...)
No kisses from my boyfriend! He just starts sex. What should I do?
Q. I have a problem with my boyfriend, he doesn't like to kiss me down never. I do for him everything but he doesn't. When we start kissing or hugging he just start the sex. He doesn't kiss my body. I feel I'm sad each time after sex. I don't know why ...
A. 16 August 2014: Your entire "question" and "answer" are found in these two phrases:
1. "...(he said) I don't think it's important." and,
2. "...I feel I'm sad each time after sex."
If he doesn't think that YOU are entitled to expect kindness, warmth and... (read in full...)
We are going to a costume convention and the other girl is wearing the same outfit!
Q. I need advice, though not really relationship advice. My boyfriend and I are going with a group of (his) friends to a costume convention. Think comicon if that helps. This is my first time going to one. We came up with a theme in the beginning of ...
A. 15 August 2014: When I read your submittal, I couldn't help but imagine how things would be if the bridesmaids and groomsmen (ushers) at a wedding all insisted that they must NOT be attired similarly, or alike......
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Joining new college, but I doubt I will make any friends. Advice?
Q. I'm feeling real low today and i'd like some advice. I've been through a lot of crap over the last few years, and even though things are looking up I can't help but feel they are just going to go the same way...
A. 15 August 2014: The "Father" in me wants to say this:
I think you have missed a step in "growing up." As it happens, when children become about 6, 7, 8 years of age, or so, they find out that THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND THEM. From your submitta... (read in full...)
I want to hear him say something nice about me! Is he still attracted to me?
Q. So, my husband and I have been together for 5yrs and married for 2yrs. My husband use to compliment me all the time, and me being a woman I need these lil compliments to make me feel better! We've had many of problems in our relationship down to ...
A. 15 August 2014: What you've described is clearly a 50/50 relationship.....
you GIVE 50%..... and he TAKES 50%....
Not very promising for a long-term future. I'd suggest that you reconcile that this marriage and relationship has run its course, and YOU can do b... (read in full...)
Is there a difference between a FWB and a side chick?
Q. I don't really know how to start off my question other than just asking it plain and simple. I'm just wondering if there is a difference between a side chick and friends with benefits? And if there's a difference then how are they different? The gu...
A. 15 August 2014: Your assessment of "what happened" is SPOT-on..... the details, and your part in it....
Best to forget this guy, for the time being, and get on with your life...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Sad love story, what should be my happy ending?
Q. I'm a devout Catholic and married in church. I'm here because I feel like my life has had so many twists and turns and I just don't know which way to go anymore. All I want is peace. Happiness and love also, if possible. Should I do the right ...
A. 14 August 2014: In my mind... this is REALLY a submittal about your religion... nothing else....
Look at all the ways that you described how your RELIGION is dictating what you do, how you feel.... AND (most importantly) WHY you ought to feel bad about being a ... (read in full...)
How do I feel more comfortable with my penis size?
Q. This is a usual thing for some blokes but how do I feel more comfortable with my penis size? guessing the main answer is to sleep with more women and hope they are really nice lol One issue is because I don't like my size it holds me back as I fee...
A. 14 August 2014: Cindy and femmenoir understand this..... Now, let me tell you from a "guy" point of view..... that penis size is 'WAY overrated..... (BELIEVE ME... I KNOW!!!).
Women, my friend, would like you to MAKE LOVE TO THEM!!!! not, simply take your lit... (read in full...)
How do I get over such a disapointing proposal? Why don't I feel so happy inside when he is the love of my life?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are together 1 year and 6 months. He proposed to me 3 days ago and it was very unexpected. He just texted me did I wanna go for a drive and I said ok. We went to the beach and I didnt want to get out as i looked like a mess ...
A. 14 August 2014: I do believe that you've confused "style" versus "substance".....
If you like/love this guy enough to marry him and spend your lives together.... what difference does it make how/where/when he popped the question??????? Think hard.... once, tw... (read in full...)
Can you cheat in an open relationship?
Q. So I've been in a long term relationship with my partner for the past 9 years. We talk about having children one day and getting married and we already own a home together. We have an extremely happy and healthy relationship and are very open and ...
A. 14 August 2014: It's kind of ironic - and a little sad - that you could submit this question. Why?
Because you describe your's and B/F's as a "semi-open" relationship.... BUT, you know that the "semi" is your's and the "open" is his....
See.... he's ... (read in full...)
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