Why would he hide this friendship with this 21 year old?
Q. My boyfriend of 45 unbeknown to me has befriended his neighbours granddaughter of 21 as she has been helping out there with the grand parents who have been unwell. He works from home and she is next door helping every day as she is unemployed. ...
A. 9 October 2014: Rare, indeed, is the 45-year-old guy who doesn't DREAM of having a hot, 21-year-old "on the side".......
You have a choice to make....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Bf watches porn but rarely gets intimate with me. Is it time to call it quits with him?
Q. We've been together for 3 yrs now. We've lived together for a yr until we graduated college. I still see him everyday and spend most of my days with him. When we first started sleeping together, we would play around in bed almost every night (we ...
A. 8 October 2014: Q: "What should I do? Break up with him?"
A: Yes.... (read in full...)
I am starting to wonder if he will ever propose!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I am watching everyone I know get engaged, married and have children and I am starting to wonder whether he will ever propose. I want a family life with children, so I cannot accept a life without ...
A. 7 October 2014: This: "....He has had a lot on his plate in the last year, so I keep blaming that, thinking that he hasn't had a chance to think of the future but it is beginning to get to me..." is a COP-OUT.... and gives him a PASS that he doesn't deserve!!!!!
... (read in full...)
I snooped ... and I think he's cheated on me!
Q. I know what I did is bad, but I think what I found is worse... I snooped on my boyfriend's facebook account and found him talking to an ex flame which he told me they're just friends now... I would like a stranger's opinion on whether these...
A. 7 October 2014: It sure sucks to snoop and find something like this....
BUT there IS a "bright side" to the matter. That is, that you learned this now, rather than after you'd cast your lot with this cad....
Feel bad about snooping - for about 10 minutes... (read in full...)
Does it make me a bad wife to exclude my husband from my social life and travelings?
Q. Doesn't make a bad wife that I don't want to travel with my husband anymore, and more...I don't really want to involve Him in my socialiZing anymore also. We are married for 23 years. I married very very young right after high school, had a ch...
A. 7 October 2014: "Sounds" to me like you and he are morphing from husband and wife, to roommates who live together only because you have done so for a long time, and it's convenient....
YOU need to measure what you HAVE in your marriage.... what you WANT in a mar... (read in full...)
So many lies. Can I continue to believe the things my boyfriend alleges are true?
Q. My boyfriend was madly in love with his last girlfriend. I heard all about her in the beginning when we started to date. It seems she broke it off with him and he was having a hard time adjusting to that fact, telling me he didn't know if he wo...
A. 7 October 2014: Your "boyfriend" sounds like an actor who has played his part repeatedly, in many different theaters. Do you want to be his NEXT "leading lady".... so that you can find out that he is really just playing????? Give him up now, before you extend ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend that I kissed her brother?
Q. I've liked this guy for a few years now but last year he admitted that he liked me and we made out, nothing more. We texted a lot but that faded away. Since then I have become good friends with his sister and now view him a bit more as 'my frie...
A. 7 October 2014: If you want to tell someone that you kissed (and made out with....) this guy, I suggest that it be your dog, or parakeet, or your smart phone. It's none of your guy's sister's business.....
If'n you and he choose to become "an item"...... (read in full...)
Engaged for a year. Yet he's rarely in the mood for sex. Has our relationship run it's course?
Q. I have been engaged to my man for almost a year. We dont go out anymore and sex that only happens when i throw a fit. He always says his back hurts but when it's work he is out the door no problem. So all im good for is to wash his clothes and...
A. 7 October 2014: I'll repeat my old, worn-out mantra for you: IF there is a mismatch of sex and/or intimacy between two people who believe that they are in a "relationship" (or, a marriage) then that relationship/marriage is doomed....
You need to decide at which... (read in full...)
My family doesn't want to meet my boyfriend. How do I tell him?
Q. I would like your advice on how to handle the following situation I have. I met a guy online in a chatroom. After being an online couple for a month, he came to visit me. He initially wanted to stay at my place as I was living by myself at the time...
A. 6 October 2014: OP: In your re-submittal, you include: "My boyfriend told me that he's been in a similar situation with a couple of his exes where her family disliked and judged him too. I don't want him to have to go through it again."
Let me "adjust" my advic... (read in full...)
My family doesn't want to meet my boyfriend. How do I tell him?
Q. I would like your advice on how to handle the following situation I have. I met a guy online in a chatroom. After being an online couple for a month, he came to visit me. He initially wanted to stay at my place as I was living by myself at the time...
A. 4 October 2014: The crux of your submittal is contained in this phrase: "... I'm a manager in a corporate company and have my own house. They think I can do better..."
At some point you will realize that you do NOT have to live you life in such a manner that you... (read in full...)
Should I just give it up and stop wasting my time on him?
Q. Hi. I'm confused and need advice. I like this guy and love talking to him. He admitted he also likes me and would go on a date with me when he is in the city. We have had all night long conversations but why am I ALWAYS the one to initiate? ...
A. 4 October 2014: You're giving him a "pass" when you write: "... I know he is shy and too much into work and studies lately..."
Instead of making excuses for him... go back to your original story line: WHY doesn't this guy give me consistent signals that he ... (read in full...)
My mom is going to visit me but I cant stand the way she constantly criticizes me. How do I handle her?
Q. My mother and father are visiting my brother and his family today and tomm its my turn, they will be staying with me. I live alone. They live interstate and I see them maybe twice a year, I enjoy catching up with them, and we mostly get along, a...
A. 4 October 2014: I would greet them, at the door, wearing a pair of earmuffs, and say to your Mother (politely, of course!)....
"Mother, I've got these to protect me from those spoken barbs that you've enjoyed darting my way in the past... Will you please make sure... (read in full...)
I thought it was a relationship, but he was just "test driving the car"!
Q. Dear cupid.. Did I over react? I was talking to my bf the other night, and we talked about sex in relationships and I was saying how I prefer to wait until its been a little while in a relationship before sex. So as to get to know the other person. ...
A. 4 October 2014: Believe me.... you're going to find that most-all of us guys would like, only, to "test drive" the woman who appear to us (regardless if they're actually "available")...
See... we never get over that "candy store" syndrome, wherein we are confront... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend and don't want to leave, but how can I make him see what a monster he is when he's drunk?
Q. My fiance has a binge drinking problem. When we are on a night out, its as if he just can't get enough and he doesn't know when to stop. He blows all our money on it too! And he gets violent.Last night, he was invited with me to a function and I was ...
A. 4 October 2014: You write: "My fiance has a binge drinking problem. When we are on a night out, its as if he just can't get enough and he doesn't know when to stop. He blows all our money on it too! And he gets violent."
That's all we need to know. YOU should s... (read in full...)
I know he's a player but my gut says he really likes me
Q. ok so here goes.. I met this guy in march just after i broke up with my ex and we hit it off straight away! its like we just had this little spark as soon as we met each other. I knew he was a player from the beginning and had commitment issues b...
A. 29 September 2014: The crux of your submittal is this: "....why is my gut telling me that this guy likes me and is trying to hide his emotions? am i in denial?"
Your gut is mistaken (quite unusual in most of the women who have posted questions on this site....... (read in full...)
No second date after 3-4 weeks of texting and talking...should I give up?
Q. Last month, I met this guy online and we hit it off really well. I gave him my number, and we have been texting every day since … We went on one date, 3 weeks ago and it went great! All kinds of sparks, and he was very romantic and attentiv...
A. 29 September 2014: About this phrase that you included: "...some things that were going on with his health, and that he needed surgery..."
Considering that YOU sound like a delightful young woman, who has tried to send him all the right messages that you are inte... (read in full...)
What makes a guy lose interest early on?
Q. Another men disappearing question..for the guys. What makes you lose interest in a woman before you have even gotten started?? I spent a little time with someone recently and liked him. He asked me out before and I did turn him down once but...
A. 29 September 2014: Let's face it.... men are a lot like lions. You'll find that lions stalk their prey - such as wildebeests - and try to find one with a broken leg, to pursue, take down and eat.
If every wildebeest in the herd is hale, hearty and healthy,... (read in full...)
Am I going for the wrong men?
Q. Hi. I am 37, 2 kids, recently divorced, fairly attractive, some men say very hot. My problem is that men get attracted though the ones I like haven't stayed. One fell for me at an office meal and after he bedded me, realised I was more senior and ...
A. 29 September 2014: You ask: "Is that how steady relations work?"
No... it's not. BUT it's how "opportunists taking advantage of a woman who throws herself at them" works.
Don't be so quick to be intimate with men..... We have very short attention and "n... (read in full...)
I still seem to think that my low social status equates to my worthiness of a person.
Q. Recently I went to my younger cousins 18th birthday party. It was really great night. What I noticed though was myself feeling slightly bad about myself and jealous due to how popular my cousin is. My cousin got the looks on the family. She's ...
A. 28 September 2014: I'm sure your self-esteem will experience an "uptick" when you realize that the size of your brain is far more important than the size of your breasts.
You sound like a smart, level-headed young woman... NOW, let life go on, and stop comparin... (read in full...)
My traditional father doesn't think I should date
Q. Hello :) I'm 15 turning 16 in 4 months time. I am currently having an intimate thing going on with this guy.. And we were actually boyfriend and girlfriend but then we decided to go back to being "friends" but nothing's change except the status. ...
A. 28 September 2014: ... what WiseOldOwl said........ (read in full...)
My older boyfriend said horrible things so I would call him! Do I end the relationship?
Q. My boyfriend is lovely sometimes. He is so loving, caring and has a good sense of humour, but he says horrible things sometimes and takes things too far. He really took it too far over the last couple of days. He was angry with me because I haven'...
A. 28 September 2014: If you were my sister, I'd tell you that dumping him would be the best decision you could make, under the circumstances....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I have a higher libido than my husband does, and it's starting to frustrate me!
Q. I have been married for about five years. I seem to have a higher libido than my husband does. I am really beginning to feel the frustration of him not being in the mood as much as I am. Of course I can please myself and often do, but it is so ...
A. 28 September 2014: If'n there's nothing medically "wrong" with hubby... he just doesn't have the juice to satisfy you... then YOU need to make a tough decision.... EITHER you live with him and his lack of "ooomph"... or, you decide that you'd rather have a more active ... (read in full...)
My (platonic) date to a wedding had to cancel. Should I invite the girl I've just started dating?
Q. I have a wedding to go to this upcoming weekend with a plus one, and as I've never had to go to a wedding before, so I'm not sure about proper etiquette about these things. I haven't been seeing anyone steadily and I've been in medical grad sch...
A. 28 September 2014: Bringing a new - and not-quite-sure-about-her - date to a wedding is a minefield... and probably ought to be avoided. After all... WHY does a single guy go to a wedding???? It's to see if he can get one of the bridesmaids to go home with him, ... (read in full...)
Please help me! Is my fiancé abusing me?
Q. So my fiancé thinks that its okay to look at girls who are way skinnier than me and then gets mad when a guy looks at me in a good way. He consistantly will do this right in front of me then tells me that im an attention whore and wants me to wear...
A. 27 September 2014: Your fiance "sounds" like a jerk... the kind that I routinely tell young women like you to dump and get away from..... Do yourself that favor, and you will never regret it....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I'm off to a good start in life but my mother will never value me
Q. Hi everyone, I came on here because I just wanted some advice. I am 22 years old, I also have an older sister who is 24 years old. Growing up I always knew my mum loved her more than me, growing up my mum use to pick on me, she use to poke fun at ...
A. 27 September 2014: Your Mother and sister are two creepy drug users and dealers???? .... and YOU'RE worried about impressing them, and/or having then "value" you???????
Take a weekend alone and ask yourself this: "WHY would - or, should - I give a damn about my... (read in full...)
If it's FWB why does he care who I date?
Q. Hey everyone, I have been in a sexual relationship with a colleague of mine for almost a year now. Prior to anything sexual, he made it clear that he did not want any emotions or attachments to form once we had sex. He also stated that we w...
A. 26 September 2014: Because "FWB" rarely stays as "FWB"... and one of the participants really isn't content with "FWB".... and he - or she - will, ultimately - tip his or her hand..... That's what you've got going, here...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
S it normal and/or okay for a woman to want to be objectified?
Q. I frequently fantasize about being objectified by men. I don't go out of my way for attention, meaning I never wear makeup, have never been tanning, and I don't wear provacative clothing. But sometimes I still get attention, just not nearly as much ...
A. 26 September 2014: If you enjoy having guys look you up-and-down... and (they) make it clear that they see you as nothing more that a hot 'bod..... sans brains, personality or any other less-than-tangible attribute(s)..... AND... if you're content with that...then, ... (read in full...)
Do I send the sexy bank teller a message? He gave me his cell phone number
Q. Hello Everyone, Every Friday after work I go to the local/closest bank to my job to deposit my check. I've been going there since a few months before the summer up until this day. There is this guy working there(teller) who I think is cute. W...
A. 26 September 2014: I'll be watching for (and following?) the advice that you get here.... because there is a woman teller at my bank who really lights my fire!!!!... (read in full...)
Why was my sister friend so rude to me and why are women so mean to each other?
Q. A few months ago my younger sister ( who lives in another state) got married, smallish amount of people around 60, at the end of the night there were buses that took us from the venue to the car park in the town where we all had parked car...
A. 26 September 2014: I'm impressed that you can draw such specific and misanthropic conclusions (and expand them to "women", generally!) from just a brief look at you by someone (else) who you don't "know" and have never, previously, spoken to ......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I want to date its been 13 years but I don't want to be hurt!
Q. Dear cupid, I am a single mature woman my children are grown I want a relationship but I been through so much with men that did not deserve me til I don't know whether I'm going or coming .My son thinks I should leave life alone because he have ...
A. 26 September 2014: P.S.: In the 13 years since you last dated... we've had a couple of wars.... and the Rolling Stones have continued to tour........ (read in full...)
I want to date its been 13 years but I don't want to be hurt!
Q. Dear cupid, I am a single mature woman my children are grown I want a relationship but I been through so much with men that did not deserve me til I don't know whether I'm going or coming .My son thinks I should leave life alone because he have ...
A. 26 September 2014: Dating is kind of like swimming in a spring-fed lake in the mountains. For the lake.... you KNOW the darn thing is going to be VERY COLD..... but, if you want to swim there, then you've got to jump in....
Same with the dating..... jump in..... ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling uneasy about sending risque photos of myself. How do I tell him I don't want to do that anymore?
Q. I've been sexting with this guy for a little less than 2 months. It's not only sexting because we talk about our day and other stuff non-sex related on a daily basis. Lately,(and not because of anything he's done), I'm worrying about the pictures...
A. 26 September 2014: I suggest that you submerge your cell phone in a bowl of chocolate milk. I did that with mine - a while ago (by accident!) - and the darn thing never worked AGAIN after that......
Meanwhile, ask yourself this: "WHAT the heck was I THINKING... (read in full...)
Am I obligated to spell out that it's over? We haven't spoken in a month
Q. We just stopped talking to each other after an almost five year relationship. Literally. I suspected him of cheating after I found out he was going on a trip with a female co-worker and even if it was purely innocent, he never told me and this was a ...
A. 26 September 2014:
Nope. Let him try to figure it for for himself. You've done your part....... (read in full...)
How to I talk to my parents and explain that their comments are hurtful?
Q. Hi everybody. My issue I'm having is with my elderly parents. They are amazing people, I would say the kindest people I've ever met. They would give you every last penny they had if they thought it would make you happy. They are fantastic parent...
A. 26 September 2014: P.S. You can "explain" things to your parents until you are blue in the face... and they will, politely, acknowledge that they've heard you (but, NOT, listened!)....... (read in full...)
How to I talk to my parents and explain that their comments are hurtful?
Q. Hi everybody. My issue I'm having is with my elderly parents. They are amazing people, I would say the kindest people I've ever met. They would give you every last penny they had if they thought it would make you happy. They are fantastic parent...
A. 26 September 2014: You have to accept that life is a cycle.... and your parents have graduated from the "adult" part of the cycle back to the "child" part of the cycle.... wherein they are not so guarded in their social "niceties".... and, so, they may spout out ... (read in full...)
He's moving to another country. How do I handle losing the love of my life?
Q. So this is a really heartbreaking time for me. My OH and I have been together for almost 3 years. It was an epic love affair like in the movies, we really "get" one another and we have been through hell and back many times but we survived it all.We ...
A. 26 September 2014: I love the drama in all this.... and can't get past the belief that all you've written has been staged by the likes of Steven Spielberg or Alfred Hitchcock......
C'mon.... life is life. If you and this guy will have to part ways... then that is ... (read in full...)
After 7 years together if he's not ready for the next step will he ever be?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years officially. We met at 15 years old and have been happy ever since. As we met in school we have the same group of friends and regulaly go out as a big group. Me and my partner rarely if never argue we are ...
A. 26 September 2014: It's hard to imagine that the two of you have been "an item" for this long..... yet HE doesn't believe it is leading to anything other than what you have, now.... whilest YOU seem to think that YOU are leading to being married and a family....
... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he's cheating
Q. Everything was fine 6 months ago he said he was.going somewhere and went off to where he said he was.going to see someone i asked him when he returned how it went but said they never turned up although he was missing few hours nw hes on phone ...
A. 23 September 2014: WAKE UP!!!!!..... STOP BEING "CONFUSED".... He doesn't give a crap about you... and YOU need to watch out, ONLY, for yourself. How egregious..... how outlandish, does this "relationship" have to become before you WAKE UP and see it for what it ... (read in full...)
I had sex for the first time last night but didn't feel any pleasure and went really quickly!
Q. Hello all please help me please, i am a male and i started masturbating on the 24th of september 2013 sometimes i do it 3times a day sometimes its only 2times and sometimes once a day , sometimes i can go for 2weeks without masturbating and i don't ...
A. 23 September 2014: You'll find that that little feller (your Peenie) is going to control you and your life for a Loooooooong time..... so get used to it......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lies and tells me he doesn't watch porn. My self esteem is at an all time low
Q. Me and my partner have regular and amazing sex, we experiment and I have sexy outfits aswell n rolplay......I found out afew months ago he watches porn, I hate the stuff and I've had a lot of bad relationships becuz of it.....he knows how I feeling ...
A. 23 September 2014: So... YOU would prefer that he not partake of porn... and HE tells you that he doesn't (partake)..... BUT, you KNOW that he does.....
How much more information do you need in order to understand that you and he are not "on the same page"...... (read in full...)
Marriage and threesomes..need advice!
Q. I need your opinion. My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years. I have always wanted to try anal and never have with any woman. I have always had this fantasy and had played with her asshole before which she loved, but the last time we ...
A. 23 September 2014: You write: ".....I don't know if the actual act with affect our married life...."
My "reply": Yes, it will .... and not in a manner that will advance your marriage.... Think twice before you do this!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he's cheating
Q. Everything was fine 6 months ago he said he was.going somewhere and went off to where he said he was.going to see someone i asked him when he returned how it went but said they never turned up although he was missing few hours nw hes on phone ...
A. 22 September 2014: Why bother "waiting" for "proof".... when the real "question" is that this is no "relationship"... at all.... just YOU walking on eggshells.... and HIM doing whatever he darn well pleases..... regardless how much it tears you up, inside.....
Wake ... (read in full...)
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