A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunty! My boyfriend proposed to me last year and now were getting married this year. But i dont like the ring he bought meI told him before i want a specific designs. But he bought different. Which i always tell him about it but not to be in a mean way like telling him i loved to being married with you but its just theres a specific ring that i want! And i told him i know were gonna get married and theres more expenses. But he said on our anniversary And he told me hes gonna upgrade the ring. Which males me feel happy and content now having what i want and also knowing he loves me too. So i have a question everyone ladies out there is it important to you that you like the carat and designs of engagement ring that your boyfriend gave you you? Is that normal? Or am i just being too material thing?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2014): I will never get the mentality of ladies who want a very specific ring, or one that must be ridiculously ostentatious and showy or a certain size, colour etc...A man wants to spend the rest of his life with his partner, has taken the effort to find something he thinks they will like and to give as a gesture to show he wants to be wed and then he gets told it needs to be changed. I think it's quite ungrateful and hurtful to be so materialistic. I knew of a girl who got engaged and her fiancé gave her his grans engagement ring. She point blank refused to wear it. I am surprised he actually still wanted to marry her. My husband gave me his grans ring and I couldn't have been more flattered, especially because his family were happy to part with that special item to let him give it to me.The ring is simply a gesture, what matters is your relationship with each other and the fact you can look forward to a happy marriage. Lots of women want rings that they think will impress other people, that they can show off to friends, family and co-workers. Personally I'd rather have something my husband hoped I would cherish because it was the start of something special for the both of us, and will forever remind you of those happy days.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 August 2014):
 Nope not important.
The ring is NOT equivalent of his love for you. And... it's a RING.
I'm old fashioned, and I think the MAN should pick out the ring (after all he paid for it) and he should get a ring he can afford and think his fiance will love.
But marriage... isn't about the dress or the ring.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2014): When I was 21, my ex boyfriend brought me an eternity ring but I wasn't that keen on it. Someone told me that it wasn't a proper eternity ring and I thought that he brought it just to save money. I told him how I felt in an argument which didn't go down too well.
Now that I'm older, I would go back and tell my 21 year old self, "does it really matter! he brought you the ring out of the kindness of his heart and he thought you would like. There was no alteria motive to why he didn't buy you a ring like the one that matches the one in your mind because he's just a man with a masculine mind".
So I would like to ask you, what is more important:
Putting the question across, "it's not quite what I pictured in mind but I appreciate that you went out your way to buy me a ring and that we are engaged"
OR
implying that your fiancee didn't get it right and that having the ring you want is more important than the overall success of the relationship.
I know you haven't said that, but to a masculine minded man, he wants to make you happy, he wants to feel a success in your eyes and to be your hero.
So the real important question is, whats more important to you? your individual happiness or the happiness of a successful union between yourself and your other half?
I know what I would rather have. Which is a man that I can look up to, respect and admire, where he is my undieing hero and someone I feel ultimate passion and attraction to, than a ring thats only material at the end if it all.
It's your choice and it's your life, but I know for sure that if a man is easily walked on then we as women will loose respect for them, at least on a subconscious level.
I don't know the dynamics or yours too relationship but I feel certain to say that if I asked a man to change my ring, I would subtly loose attraction, opposed to a strong man who can't be controlled.
The universe is dominated by natural laws, one of those is polarity which creates attraction and their can only be room for one masculine energy forcew within the relationship.
So thats why I ask, whats more important, the overall success of yours to relationship or a ring :)
I hope this message really helped and added clarity with a difference because it was wrote from the heart and from someone who once got a ring she wasn't quite expecting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2014): I love that he picked it for me. I can buy myself the exact ring I want anytime. But the time, effort and care that he put into the one he gave me is what makes it special
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 August 2014):
 Yes, you're being too "material"..... and your B/F - nee fiance - will be lucky if you and he don't go through with the marriage.....
YOU will not be so lucky, as you'll have screwed up making a marriage and life with a great guy... and now, you'll have to "start from scratch" to find a guy who will accomodate your wishes....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (10 August 2014):
I think it is important that you like it since you're the one who has to wear it every day for the rest of your life. If it were the other way around and you were buying something for your partner, wouldn't you want to give him something he really liked?
Of course, if you want a £50k Harry Winston ring then you might need to accept something different, but in general, I think it's fair to want a style you really like. It sounds like your partner is happy to change the ring for you, so relax and enjoy your new ring when you get it :)
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (10 August 2014):
 No I don't think its important.
I think the thing which is important is they put some time into it, I know peoples boyfriends who have just brought them a crappy £10 ring because they couldn't be bothered to look for anything else, and of course it isn't the price or quality of the ring which is important, its the thought put into it.
I would prefer to have a ring with something that reminded me of the other person, I know some people who have engraved rings and one of the best rings i've seen are matching rings with a sound wave carved into it, of there partner saying they loved them. I would take a un-expensive ring, as long as it had something which reminded me of them, than a triple diamond ring any day.
I do think you should lay off him a bit, and yes I think you are being a bit materialistic. He tried at least, he put some effort into it, and you must of made him feel a bit bad if you told him you didn't like it, so much so he's offered you an upgrade.
If it was the other way round and you bought him something special, and spent a lot of time thinking about what to get him, and he subtlety told you he didn't like it, i'm sure you would feel slightly hurt too.
Just remember the fact he loves you and wants to marry you is more important than materials, love is more valuable than anything else in the world.
Good Luck and Congratulations :) x
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 August 2014):
 I don't think it is important.
I mean, of course if you told him time and again which ring you wanted, and you get a different one, you are going to be disappointed , that's human. But it sounds as if your " wanrs " were too much for his purse at the time, so he could not give you JUST what you wanted but went for the next best thing. He did the best he could, plus he is also offering to upgrade the ring for your first anniversary !
Plus, anyway, getting married is about the man, not about the ring.
Do not let something so mundane spoil your ( and his ! ) excitement and happiness for the upcoming wedding.
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