A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a beautiful girl, skinny nice body always at the gym. But I'm insecure with my boobs , I want implants I don't have the money. I want change in my life , I'm 19 and tired of the same things. When does it all end ? When do I get a better job , when does it get better. Sometimes these bills are all I have for. Sometimes it's just to much for me. I cry a lot it's stressful , I just want change in my life. I love in a small city in California "santa maria " not much here it's like 4 hours away from LA. I go to college but I want to change careers maybe cosmetology or joining the navy just to get away. I need advice , help I am 5'4 I weight 108 , and I think I have an eating disorder. I take pills to detox when I eat. I like being thin I'm naturally thin but lately it's gotten to be to much. At work they'll offer me food sometimes I'll take it but other times I don't. It's gotten to the point where coworkers say "she doesn't want to get fat". Costumer will say want a bread it's calories. Are people kidding me. Is it this obvious ? Is it just in my head? I only eat one time a day if so. Other times I feel like I over eat. Everyone compliments my small body. My ex boyfriend would call me tiny. And this all makes it better. But I know I have a problem. Is it depression making me this way ? I feel fat at times crazy thing is I'm far from fat. I know it , I know my figure but it's my mind . I'll get mad at my mom when she try's getting me to eat. It's just I want to be really thin
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male
reader, gallery  +, writes (11 August 2014):
life is hard, if you want it to be hard. my, i don't have a good job, wish i had a better one. i was recently in africa and learned a lot while i was there, i have rosacea which isn't a nice thing to have, it is really depressing and there is nothing i can do about it, my face is red or goes red, hahah. sometimes you just have to be able to laugh at yourself and make it drive you on to bigger and better things.while i was in africa, i stayed at a backpackers with many true sayings written on the kitchen wall. one was, "worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere" and " you only regret the chances you didn't take", so while you are worrying, you fail to see the chances that come your way, for good or for bad...at the start, you say you are beautiful, so you know inside yourself that you are beautiful, so just keep saying it to yourself. so having bigger breasts will suddenly change how you feel?? you might think that know, but when it is done and they feel different or like they don't seem right, you can't go back. what is wrong with the ones you have, for me, the best part of a women is her personality. just being in the right womens presence gives me butterflies, i'm sure that can be said for many men.i feel that all your problems are steaming from you worrying about your breasts, not eating properly and wanting to get away, away from your problems, it won't help because you have the problems lock in your head. you just need to be happy with the way you are and smile more often, it really does help.....this was my first post on here, i hope it helps you....and if you need an ear to listen when you are having a bad day, just drop by, i'm sure i can get you to see sense... and smile after reading..... :)
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 August 2014):
 You write: "....But I know I have a problem."
Please look up "President Franklin Delano Roosevelt". During WWII he made a rousing speech which included the phrase, "...we have nothing to fear but fear, itself...."
You could borrow his phrase and claim, "I have no problem except the problem that I claim to have...."
It's unfortunate that the tide of media can affect a perfectly-healthy young woman, such as you, and have her stewing over what's "wrong" with her, such as: "....I'm insecure with my boobs..."
OP: There is nothing "wrong" with your figure, as you describe yourself. You can find many men (I'm one of them, incidentally) who think that modest breast (size) is "just right..." AND, when the future arrives, you will find that you can be even-more comfortable with your modest endowment when you find that you do not have to struggle to keep "the girls" in-place when you are at the other end of the age spectrum....
I hope you get lots of advice that tells you to "just be yourself"... and that you learn and convince yourself that appearances aren't really all that they're cracked up to be......
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2014): Getting breast implants isn't going to make you like yourself any more than you do already. You start by describing yourself as beautiful, but then quickly display your lack of own self worth. You need to see a doctor, you seem to be border lining on an eating disorder and depression which sadly come hand in hand. Eating once a day is not common for everyone. If you're at the gym most days then you're going to make yourself ill. If you're serious about the Navy then you want to start taking your health seriously and as a priority. Your body will not cope with the strenuous demands if you're not giving it all the nutrients and calories it needs to function fully. A recommended daily allowance of cals isn't advised for fun, you need an absolute minimum of 1200 a day, because that's the average it takes for your body to just simply stay alive. That includes fuelling brain function, organs, cell production....that doesn't even account for physical activity you do.
You're 19, well paying jobs come through you training or working your way up positions in a career area. Don't like the career you're in then now is a prime time to change, you can try out loads of jobs and see what makes you happy. Forget about bills, yes they need to be paid but as long as you work you'll find the money. Look for a job where you are going to wake up and look forward to going, something that means something to you. If you can find that then you're half way there, life is instantly better when you know you do something you love. If you're life has some meaning to it then you will soon be distracted by whatever used to get you down. Good luck, and believe that you're beautiful how you are. Life does indeed pick up, it just takes you to believe in yourself.
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A
male
reader, afsf86 +, writes (10 August 2014):
According to the Centers for Disease Control you have a perfectly normal body mass index. Though you are on the low side of the range, you are not considered underweight. I'm curious what you're taking to "detox" when you eat though. A lot of supplements out there don't have much proof of effectiveness and some, because the supplement market is largely unregulated, are borderline harmful. Diet pills for example. When I worked as an EMT, I noticed a trend in women who were experiencing anxiety attacks. A common denominator among many cases was that they were taking diet pills; basically massive doses of caffeine.As for eating, I usually only eat one meal a day myself, though I may have a snack here and there. I'm just not hungry for three meals a day unless I'm really active. As long as the meal you're eating is healthy and balanced, I don't see that as a red flag. The human body is usually pretty good at telling you when and what it needs to be fed. A daily multivitamin is never a bad idea either. It ends, as you say, when you start taking steps to change things. You're at the perfect age to start asking yourself what you really want to be doing in life, work, etc.There's nothing wrong with not being completely sure of what you want to do for a career either, so pick something that interests you and take a shot at it. Don't like it? Try something else and chalk it up as figuring out what you don't want to do. Want to get out and see the world on the government's dime? Maybe the Navy is for you. You will go to places and do things that most people never get to do in their entire lifetime.** A word or caution to you **You seem to talk about the Navy as a way to "get away", but I want you to ask yourself what you're looking to get away from. Because by joining you will be getting away in one sense, but if what you're wanting to get away from is something about yourself, no amount of miles will take you away from that. I speak from experience here (6 years in the Air Force).Maybe set up an appointment with your doctor and tell them about how you've been feeling. There's nothing wrong with getting a professional opinion (That goes for anything in life). Ask about getting a blood draw while you're there too. Depression can stem from psychological reasons, but it can also be caused by deficiencies in certain vitamins and minerals in your body too.If there's one thing I've learned in life It's that things have a way of working out in he end, though it doesn't feel like it at the time and maybe not in the way you expected. I can completely relate to feeling like you're not where you want to be in life. But as long as you're working towards something, anything, then you can take comfort in knowing that you're doing everything you can to get there. It may take some time to get there (more time than you want it to take), but I have no doubt you'll get to where you want to be.Best wishes to you.
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A
female
reader, missy_25 +, writes (10 August 2014):
You are so lucky to be only 19! Identify your wishes and your dreams and just go for it! Don't be scared. I'd say start with the Navy. Sign up. Ask how to prepare for it. Prepare and work hard. Be your best at it. Listen to your parent's advice but don't doubt your own capacity and just believe that you can do it. If you really want it and it's a good thing for you, your parents will understand and support you.
If other people are noticing you're too skinny then maybe you are and you need to be aware of it. I believe if you fix one part of your life (like making a change in your life), the other ones will follow (like your eating habits).
Try to pray. I know some don't believe in God. But there's nothing wrong with relying on someone (imaginary, if you have to) to help you build faith and strength within you to fight this.
Life will, unfortunately, get worse and more difficult as you age because you end up with more responsibilities BUT it can be better if you choose to fight your way while you're living and find it in you to see the good things around you. It's not easy but it really is all up to you.
If you will fight and find the strength in you to follow your dreams and do the things you like (only good things), you will be rewarded with happiness within you that no one can ever take. People will just be naturally drawn to you because you emanate confidence and joy.
I'm struggling to this day (with all of my self-doubts) but because I made it a goal to go to heaven, I want to leave this place knowing I have done something good in my life and have helped other people along the way. Hopefully, by doing that I will actually find my own happiness and overcome my insecurities. So far, God has shown me small blessings and joy. It feels good again.
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