A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month now. My issue is for some reason if I plan a date something family related always comes up and he either ends up coming really late or rescheduling. The huge thing is we always end up hanging out at night, 10 pm or later. Usually after i get out of work. Its fine once in awile but annoying because it will be on a week day and my town shuts down around 10. It leaves activities slim. I asked him if he was ashamed of me or my weight( I am alot bigger than the women he is use to dating) and wanted to hide the fact that we are a couple? He said No. I dont think he is cheating. I just dont know what to do. He says he has a hard time telling his family No. (We both live at home) Its just very frustrating because i want to go out during the day while the sun is out. I told him he is making me feel like a booty call without the sex.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 July 2014):
 Trust your intuition.... this guy is really looking at you as a potential "booty call"..... even tho' YOU are desparately trying to give him a "pass" for his doing all the things that "tell you" that he is seeing you as a booty call....
You can do so much better!!!!!
Good luck....
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 July 2014):
 Yep, a booty call is the end game..he's just setting you up for it by demonstrating to him that he has control.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 July 2014):
 While I think he likes your company, and no doubt likes the full voluptuous you, and possibly recognises that you are a lovely lady - yet despite all that his Actions indicate he is not interested in a full relationship.
Or at least Not a relationship where you become part of his life and he and you introduce each other to the important people in your lives and look forward to outing together.
Yes he is hoping that you will eventually be receptive enough to accept that a booty call is really on his mind.
And eventually he will start to demonstrate by his actions that a booty call is his eventual aim.
Do not allow this to demoralise you.
There are genuine guys out there who are interested in a relationship and can look past the extra weight. Though you do considerably lessen the number of guys prepared to consider a relationship with you if you do have a very high BMI.
Maybe visit the Doctor to check out if there are any medical / health issues that could affect you if you choose to remain your current weight.
You can either say, well that's how I am, so get over it.
Or you can examine whether you could consider a walking program, or think about what might work for you as far as some changes in your life to focus on some healthy life changes.
You might wonder, why should I need to do this?
The answer is you don't need to do anything you don't want to do.
And you might say that you don't want any shallow guys who can't see past the weight.
Yet the truth is that just a loss of ten percent of your body weight can make you feel better, lift your confidence in you, and will ensure that a bigger pool of available guys will become more available, for you to consider.
A guy who is 100% into you will want to spend time with you. And will introduce you to his friends and their girlfriends.
He will walk with you. Take you out for the evening. Introduce you to the people who are important to him.
Turning up so late at night is not acceptable.
You have a perfect right to put a stop to these night time visits.
If that quickly discourages him then he definitely was never interested.
If he chooses to start seeing you for outings and is happy to be seen out with you then that is good. If yes then he does have potential.
You are right to be suspicious of his motives.
But don't allow his disinterest to get you down and especially don't reach for the icecream.
Instead try lifting some small weights for half an hour before bed.
Start the day with some stretching exercises; follow that up by reaching for your sneakers, for an early morning walk.
At home find a zumba class on you tube.
You are not doing this exercise for Mr 10pm.
You not doing it for a nice guy who may notice you later.
You are doing it to improve your confidence in you, and you are doing it to
ultimately improve your health.
With any new relationship start as you mean to go on.
You definitely don't need to accept this second class treatment.
Where he keeps on cancelling outing i can see that that would decome increasingly disappointing.
You do deserve better than
what you are experiencing right now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2014): If he lives at home it's probably true that family things come up just as he says. Please don't go using your weight as a reason, that's taking the blame.
Tell him that he is going to have to show more maturity, and remind his family he has a girlfriend. It's time he grew up, and be man enough to say no, or include you along. It's odd that all these sudden family-activities can't include a girlfriend. Don't be so certain he isn't seeing someone on the side.
You're going to have to make the decision if this guy is really right for you. He doesn't seem mature enough. He may be cheap, and figure if it's late you'll cancel most of the time.
As for your weight, join a health-club and find a nutritionist to help you to set a comfortable diet plan to regulate your weight. It's good for the health and self-esteem. Then you don't have to feel like your weight is an issue in any relationship. In the meantime; consider dumping the guy.
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