A
female
age
41-50,
*estiny28
writes:I have been with my Fiancée for 5 years and about 2 years ago his libido and need for sex started declining drastically. We used to have a great sex life. After talking, reading, being patient, supporting him and being constantly rejected when I make an attempt to be intimate.I was ready to throw in the towel 7 months ago, he begged me to stay and promised all will bet better and he will make an effort.Present times, it was all words and nothing changed... I would be lucky if I had sex once a month! 4 days ago, I instigated sex and I was rejected again, this time something changed within me and said enough is enough!! We are sleeping in seepage beds and not talking. He didn't even realise why I was upset, he asked me in a text! Day 4, he asks ' how long is this going to go on for' I wrote until u realise! He doesn't want to talk about the issue at all and rather let me go! I said the we are over words tonight and that I had enough and been patient and supportive. He said NOTHING! Just stood there for a while, said nothing and went to bed! Why doesn't he want to be honest and talk? What is wrong w him? I am 33 years old and single again ;( I cannot continue living this way and being deprived! This makes me so unhappy.
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female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (1 August 2014):
 No idea what the cause of his low libido is. Could range from medical issues, to age, to porn addiction, to cheating, to past sexual abuse and so on. He could be very embarrassed by this as well. Regardless of the reason, he is refusing to speak to you about it. So on top of a bad sex life you have terrible communication with him. Two HUGE components of a happy life with your partner.
You have spoken to him numerous times and he isn't doing anything about his issue. He seems content to leave things as they are, sex maybe once a month. Which will only get worse over time. I'd inform him again that you cannot be in a relationship without sex and communication and he must go to a therapist or couple's therapy with you and a doctor to find out why he has such a decline in libido. If he doesn't then you have your answer and can leave knowing you have done all you can do. Good luck.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 August 2014):
 I've said it again and again on this site..... If two people cannot reconcile their sexual/sensual/intimate interactions... then they cannot have a "relationship" or marriage. Be glad that he tipped his hand now, rather than after you and he were married, and the split would have been much messier....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2014): He either doesn't know, or he is hiding something from you.
I often speculate; but I want to refrain from building suspicions in your head. Instead, I think you should take this situation as a serious warning and deal-breaker.
You don't need to marry a man who cannot be intimate, cannot tell you why, and may be hiding something. Period.
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