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We split up and decided to remain friends, but he went off with his mates and didn't text!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *ngel delight writes:

My partner of 15 months and I split up 8 weeks ago. We have had many ups and downs since then but have now put them all behind us and have decided to stay friends. We have been getting along really well and he has been very complimentary towards me and we always have a laugh and talk constantly when we meet up. We speak every day and I let him contact me first every day so I know hes keen and thinking about me.

The only thing is that he went away this morning with 14 other men on a stag do! He hasent contacted me all day, even though he knew I had an importants hospital appointment this afternoon. I eventually gave in and text him asking if he was having a good time and he replied with a text with no question so I could not continue the conversation. I told him that my hospital appointment went well and he replied telling me that he had forgotton about it but was glad i was ok.

Why is he playing games with me?? Why cant he text me when hes with his mates, even just so i know hes thinking about me?!!! I am really worried now that hes met another girl whilst hes out on his stag weekend, which is why hes stopped contacting me. I am very confused and not sure what to do. Should i just ignore him next time he texts? I want him to know that Im not at the end of the phone waiting for him to contact me but i dont want him to think Im playing games. Does he actually care about me or is he just being an ar**hole now hes with his buddies?!!!

View related questions: split up, stag , text

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A female reader, Angel delight United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2011):

Angel delight is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your replies. I agree with what your saying. It annoys me how he has a way of asking me what im doing all the time and who im with and I tell him but when he is out with his friends I get one line texts and when I ask him what he is up to he is selective in what he replies to so as to make me wonder!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011):

A man can care about you and still get distracted while with several of his friends, especially if you're now technically just his friend.

If you're still this concerned about him "thinking about you" to worry about him just hanging out with some guys, then you still haven't let go.

I wouldn't assume anything malicious. Don't read too much into a guy's actions, it's something women do far too often. Take what he does at face value unless you have very good reason not to.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (16 July 2011):

person12345 agony auntI'm sorry to say but you're acting like this guy is still your boyfriend. You're upset about him going out too long with his mates and not texting, but he's under no obligation to text you daily or keep you up to speed on everything he does with his friends. If you ever want to properly move on from this break up you two can't keep texting all day every day, as it sounds like it's making you jealous and maybe a bit clingy. Friends with an ex can work, but only if you have a real separation for a reasonable period of time.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (15 July 2011):

chigirl agony auntSpeaking every day will make it impossible for you to get over him. And, you're not over him. That's why this upsets you so.

Woman to woman: I have no idea why men are this way. They say they think about you, care about you, miss you, they STILL manage to "forget" about you. Go figure. I found the best revenge was to forget about them in return.

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