A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I are worried about a potential pregnancy. She's a little later than usual for her period. She's almost always ~3 days late, but we're getting into a day or two past that point.To the best of our knowledge, she *shouldn't* be pregnant.Every time we've had sex, it's been with a condom. The condoms I use have been kept in a small tin inside of a backpack kept away from any heated environments.And after each time she and I have had intercourse, I'd hold up the condom to check to see if anything leaks from the tip, in case of breakage. None of the condoms we've used appear to have broken.I also know for a fact that she couldn't have been impregnated by anyone else, as I've been with her everywhere for the past 3 weeks up until she was supposed to start her period.One other thing to note, if it's an indicator of anything, is that my girlfriend felt her usual cramps as she does when she's about to start her period. So far she just hasn't menstruated.I realize it might be way too soon to freak out over this, but we're having a hard time letting that be enough not to worry.At what point should we be worried? How many days late should she be before seeking a test?Any ideas on how to calm down in the mean time?Thank you.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 July 2011):
 I think you two need to take two important lessons from this.
One: you two NEED to sit down and seriously talk about the what ifs. Like how do you both feel about abortion? How would you both handle it if she was to get pregnant? Like what would you actually do?
Two: she (or you two) should go talk to her doctor about more reliable methods of birth control than condoms if one day late makes her that nervous.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy girlfriend came home with good news. I've never seen her so happy to be off limits for a week. All our fuss and panicking over 1 day late.
If nothing else, it's been a learning experience for both of us. We've been able to clear up each other's feeling about the what-if's of pregnancy, our comfort levels about birth control, and she's learned that I'm not going to abandon her even if things had turned for worse.
A big thanks to everyone who responded, it means a lot that you took the time to read and give some input :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 July 2011):
 By the way, you're doing *great*. Any guy who will reassure his girl by examining the condom to make sure it's sound is really thoughtful. That's the mark of a keeper and a real man in my opinion. Keep it up!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 July 2011):
Awww, I totally know how she feels. Poor girl, and poor you too! I would recommend that she visits her Doctor so that he can evaluate her and put her on a good first line birth control, such as the IUD, the pill, the patch, or the birth control shot.
Then, you can continue to wear condoms until your relationship has progressed enough to where, after you and she have been screened and tested for STD's (unless you are both virgins) you can discontinue condoms...
Finally, she should have a supply of the "morning after" pill, in case before she gets on birth control and your condom DOES break or slip off, she can use the emergency contraception as a final "fall-back" to protect her from pregnancy.
Remember, your sperm can live and be viable inside her for 5-7 days after you ejaculate inside of her, so if she's not on birth control, do NOT attempt the rhythm method.
I know what it's like to be terrified that I might be pregnant. That stress and any flux in hormones and cause the period to come early or late. That's always excruciating! Once I was late for 14 days! I was terrified, even though the pregnancy test came back negative.
Don't worry...with time and increased emotional closeness between you two, this will lessen her fear. Make sure you continue to work towards her absolute trust in you. That will pay dividends, make no mistake!
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A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 All women get scared of unwanted pregnancy if they are sexually active. I am also like your girlfriend, I panic every time my period don't come as expected and I stressed myself in thinking I'm pregnant and as a result, my period is delayed more coz of this too much worrying.
If that's the case, then condom is not the right contraceptive for her. All my worries stopped when I switched to the pills. However, pills have it's side effects too so please take that into consideration. (My pill caused me to gain a bit of weight). It would be best to consult her ob-gyne to discuss which contraceptive is best for her. This way her worries will stop.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): Your girlfriend's probably not pregnant but if she gets that freaked out maybe in the future she can go on the pill and you can continue to use condoms - that's what my cousin did to get that 100% security.
They have early detection pregnancy tests - they're not that expensive - hopefully after your girlfriend gets a negative result she won't still be freaking out, saying it's too early.
In the meantime, tell her unlikely it is, how careful you've been...give her plenty of massages and tell her you've asked around and being late a few days happens all the time!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (16 July 2011):
 I go through this every single month. I'm like your girlfriend, consistently late - and every month it's the same routine. I start to flip out, as it always seems a day or two later than before. Perhaps it's the stress of it all that screws up the cycle.
Give it another couple of days before you really start to freak. But really, it is easy enough to go get a pregnancy test from the store and do a preliminary check - seeing the little negative sign will keep you from jumping out of your skin for now.
If she is really concerned about this, I think you guys should considering doubling up on birth control as a previous poster suggested.
Good luck, and calm yourselves. If shes getting her cramps, it sounds like it's on its way, just taking its sweet time.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 July 2011):
I think a lot of women who are having sex get a little tense right before their period starts, I know I do. It's a legitimate fear of course, but if she has her usual cramps then it's fine.
If she's always three days late, then she's not late, she's regular. No one is on the same schedule. Some women's cycles are way over a month (like 35 days at least). So it sounds like she's just regular.
If she really can't handle this and it truly stresses her out then condoms aren't the best method for you and she should do something more reliable like the pill, or and IUD (which is the most reliable short of sterilization).
Also as a side note, not only should you check the condom for breaks, but she should reach down and perform a "smell check" on fluids. I know it sounds disgusting, but sometimes semen can come out the bottom of the condom as well.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (16 July 2011):
 Well she has a right to be worried as condoms aren't 100% effective. Why isn't she on the pill? She should be and there'd be no need to worry. Give her about two weeks and if her period doesn't come by then, then you have reason to worry. No girl ever has normal time frames between periods so give it time. You should refrain from sex until then, or after then.
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