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anonymous
writes:Hope its ok to ask quite a short and simple question:Ive been told by a friend that in regards to a woman, when talking to them it doesnt really matter what you say, if they already like you, thats half the battle won.Us men can say some pretty stupid things at times (like this question may be to some), with stupid pick up lines etc, but at the end of the day, do the words matter that much? Obviously common sense prevails I would have thought. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the replies, wasnt expecting so many :) yep wasnt really meaning insulting things and the like - ie common sense things- I'm sure no would like you if started out like that from the onset!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): yes it matters because a woman may start out liking you then change her mind about you based on what comes out of your mouth!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): Without the personality words are empty
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reader, Odds  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 If I had to put a number to it, I'd say it's 20% what you say and 80% how you say it, whether the girl likes you or not. As long as you're earnest, funny, and just a little bit arrogant, you can say almost anything to almost any girl and she'll dig it.
Actually, that's not really limited to women. People will attribute whatever motivations they want to why you say things, but how you say it has a huge effect what they want to believe you really mean. Words are wind; delivery is everything.
For instance, it's possible to say something very nice and sound like a weasel - "I like how you're such a genuine girl" could be a great compliment if said with sincerity, creepy if said while leering at them, or insulting if said with sarcasm.. It's possible to say something outrageously rude on its surface, but to make your tone and delivery such that it gets taken well. Or to tell a girl, "I don't want anything serious," but to say it while looking deeply into her eyes, holding her, and with a regretful tone, that implies you're trying to convince yourself, and she'll continue to believe you actually do want something serious (a lot of players get good mileage out of that one).
Yes, there are limits (hard to make insulting a woman's sexual history come off well), but within those limits, almost anything goes.
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reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Words are one of two things; 1;poetic fondling of the brain or 2; darts to the heart. You get to choose!
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reader, person12345 +, writes (20 July 2011):
 If a woman likes you, she likes you for your personality (hopefully). But unless she liked you for being a jerk I'd hold off on anything obnoxious, sexist, racist, etc... and I've never in my life heard of a pick up line working on anyone, so I'd just hide those somewhere in your brain forever. Just be how you were when she met you/liked you and hopefully she'll keep liking that person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): God yeah words matter, a lot of the women I've dated put more importance into words than anything else. No offense to the ladies but when it comes to love and romance for women there is rarely any common sense at least not what you or I would consider common sense. My girlfriend recently did a survey of 200 women as part of her job some of the answers to her questions were amazing. One such question was 'What's more important in a relationship, passion, dedication, loyalty or trust?' Most answered passion. Another was 'Is feeding your long-lasting painful unrequited love, foolish or romantic?' Most answered romantic. 'Is it okay to sleep with a married man as long as there is no sex in his marriage?' Most answered yes. It seems based on those results that there really is nothing sexy nor romantic about common sense.
You can get a woman to do anything you want if you say the right words and equally so you can say one wrong thing and screw everything up. They have amazing memories for what you say when you say the wrong thing even now 6 years later my girlfriend can remember stupid nonsense from when we first started dating. I've dated girls who after 2 or 3 years still brought up the one time I made a slip of the tongue in every argument. I've also blown dates with girls with one sentence and never got a call back based on that one thing.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-actions-speak-louder-than-words.html
Words matter, words are what keep women in horribly abusive relationships "I'm sorry" "I can change" "I'll never do it again""I really do love you but sometimes you make me do these things" Words are what get them to sleep with you without regardless of their brain telling them it's not a good idea "Yes I really like you and feel I've known you forever" "I've never felt this way before so soon with any girl" "you're special and I think I've just experienced love at first sight" "I don't normally sleep with women so early but I can't help myself with you." Words are what keep them hanging on to guys, and sleeping with them, who have no intention of ever having a relationship with them "Not right now""I'm not looking for anyone at the moment""Maybe in the future"
90% of the problems we get here from women are based on them ignoring common sense and hoping the words their lying cheating partner says is true.
Look, as the article I wrote above suggests, if the words don't match the actions then they're lies but most women I know don't care, they'd rather live in the hope and the fantasy that the beautiful words they're told are true than listen to their own common sense. It's not just women either, for the record, we're just as susceptible to this and I find that the more mature a women is or the more experienced the less likely she is to base all her hopes and dreams on words alone. But even those ones can be put off by a single sentence unless they really, really like you. Look most of us are ruled by the heart and not the head when it comes to relationships and women especially are suckers for words and can be just as easily disgusted by them. I mean look at the effect compliments on appearance has on them, even if you don't mean it they will tell themselves you do because they want it to be true and be immensely happy about it.
In a sense your friend is right, if a girl likes you half the battle is won because your words will stir deeper emotions in her, telling her she has lovely eyes for example would have a far more profound effect if she has feelings for you.
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 I don't think anyone will forgive everything.
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reader, VSAddict +, writes (20 July 2011):
 It does matter what you say to them. Even though they like you, they're not going to put up with whatever crappy thing you happen to say. One of the reasons they like you is because you don't say crappy things, so always be respectful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): To an extent yes it does matter what you say to a woman. Yes guys can say some pretty silly things, and if a woman already likes a guy she may forgive him some things, but no woman wants to hear a guy who comes across sleazy or anything like that. Getting a woman to like you may be half the battle won, but you still have half the battle to go. I have been in situations where I liked someone and found that some of the things they would say to me actually turned me off them, so yeah it does matter what you say to a woman.
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reader, MissTellAll +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Depends. If she already likes you and you say something really insulting, belittling, etc. chances are... she isn't going to be as into you. Words do in fact matter. Though, keep in mind, as men can say some stupid things at times, so can women. It's sort of about picking your battles. Cut her a little slack when she fumbles with her words and she'll probably do the same.
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