A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Where can I start. Growing up I kinda found guys more attractive and going through puberty I liked looking at gay porn. I never looked a sexually things with women involved. There were times when i liked girls also. But I never been just fully aroused looking at a woman sexually. But I'm a virgin the closer I've ever seen a guy or girl naked is porn. In my early teen years I use to fight being gay. I didn't wanna be gay at all. Now I'm almost 18 and I'm learning to except it. I don't even care anymore. I'll even take a boyfriend. But lately I've been like looking at girls (you know like in straight porn) and I'm starting to like it but I don't get fully aroused. Sometimes I feel like I'm not gay and times I do. Times I want a girlfriend then a boyfriend. I haven't dated in a while but I don't know what to choose. Because lately I've been want both a girlfriend and boyfriend at the same rate. I tell myself that I'm bisexual but I don't know. It's like I'm going through puberty again and starting to like girls but the guy feeling are still there inside of me sexually. It's like when I started being comfortable being gay. It's like the feeling for girls started. Even though im still not sexually aroused by girls i still want one, its like its coming to me.I guess because I use to pressure myself to be straight I didn't like girls as much just guys. Like i said Im a virgin and who know what i will get aroused to when I start having sex or who I'm into. I'm starting to tell myself you like both sex male and female and to just go out and date what I want. Does being bisexual exist in some people? Thats what I believe I am. Does anyone have any advice?
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male
reader, Guru24 +, writes (24 August 2011):
Im 15 and bi. Ive watched gay porn for a long time and thought i was gay. I have sucked cock and had a guy cum in my ass and liked it. But i still watch straight porn and still think about girls. So dont call your self gay if you havent tried anything.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Sexuality exists on a continuum. There are no nice clean lines dividing people in straight or gay. If you are attracted to someone, it doesn't really matter what label you've selected for yourself. Don't box yourself in by trying to "fit," just go for who you are attracted to.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 July 2011):
 I am bisexual. I lean towards men more than women as partners but I am easily sexual with both. I do truly believe you can be bisexual or pansexual even... My boyfriend is more pansexual than not...
IF you like another male go for it... If you like a female go for it...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2011): I am hetero in practice, but am sometimes attracted to men in an only sexual way (as in I like to look at penises in porn). However, I seriously doubt I'd ever have an actual sexual relationship with a man. Closest I dabbled was posts on Craigslist and an exchange of pics, but no further.
2 things: first, dont base your sexuality on media. second, allow curiosity. I would try a relationship with both, but dont focus on sex. Focus on the relationship and see where it goes. Whichever you like most is probably what you'll lean to.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Heres the advice I give you regards to dating. If theres a girl you like, go for it. If theres a guy you like, go for it. You don't have to choose which gender, just go for what PERSON you like.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 What kind of porn you like I find has very little to do with your sexuality.
I am bisexual, however that doesn't mean I am attracted to any guy or girl. I am very picky in who I fancy. I have a boyfriend of 3 years, but I would say i'm 80/20 towards woman.
I'm not too keen on porn, i don't like hetero or lesbian - its a big turn off for me.
So you like girls and guys, thats fine. You don't have to label yourself!
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Yes, I know bisexuality does exist because I identify myself as such. Some people like to argue that it doesn't really exist but sexuality in itself is a grey area. When it comes down to it, humans are animals; animals hump, hunt, and sleep. That's one way I like to look at it. I am similar to you in your bisexuality. I'm attracted more so to men than to women. I've taken both girlfriends and boyfriends in my life, but I'd say I'm about 75/25 in favor of guys. Like you, it started in my earlier teen years looking at porn and being attracted to the same sex. I didn't identify myself as bisexual until I had been with (dated) both a boy and a girl though. Much like you I was confused, I tried to deny it within myself and sometimes I still find myself denying it.That's just my situation. I know several other people who can identify with you though. Just know that you are completely normal. Don't try to deny who you are out of fear.As for advice, all I can say is when you find someone, male of female, that you are very attracted to and want to try dating, go for it! If you pursue the physical aspect of that/those relationship(s) and realize that you only like sex with males and not females (or vice versa) I advise you do the right thing and let that person down gently, don't lead them on, and explain it isn't anything wrong with them. You just have realized something about yourself.Don't feel bad for experimenting and being unsure either. Most people have been unsure of their sexuality.I'm sorry this is so long. I hope this helps, and good luck in finding yourself.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Since you like both genders to some degree, you are bisexual. Stop trying to fight it and accept it. Go out and meet some people and date them. That way you can determine what you like better. Meeting actual people is a better way to figure out yourself than porn, so try it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Yes, bisexual people exist, hence the term "bisexual".
However, I think you've posted here before on this, so excuse me for repeating myself, but you can not judge what sexuality you are or what sexual preferences you have on PORN. Porn and reality are NOT the same. What you like in porn might not at all be what you like in reality.
You focus on what you are attracted to in porn, but let me ask you this: what are you attracted to in real life, flesh and blood? Have you ever been in love??? Have you ever had a crush, or looked to someone you're in class with, or that you know, and though "they're so beautiful/hot/gorgeous/sexy"? Have you ever? Because that's what counts. If you haven't ever experienced physical attraction to any gender in real life then you might as well call yourself asexual.
However I don't think you're asexual. My point is just that without any real life experience you can't judge what you are either way. Maybe you should stop watching porn for a while and instead try to see if you can turn that sexual energy into the real world and maybe you'll find yourself attracted to real people. Then masturbate thinking about these real life people, people that you might actually talk to and make a move on.
I found THIS to be a way better indicator of your preferences: can you imagine kissing a guy? Not just sex, can you imagine kissing a guy? Can you imagine kissing a girl? Do you like both? Then call yourself bisexual. Like only one? Call yourself gay.
To some degree or another I believer all humans are bisexual, we just have a larger preference for one gender or the other. This preference is not static however, things can change and so can out sexual urges.
Stop trying to label yourself.
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A
male
reader, BenKuijper  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 I am exactly in the same situation anyone who answers this question greatly appreciated. Thank you asking this question also.
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