A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im usually cool with porn. I watch it myself several times a week and often browse naughty picture websites. I generally see it as not a big deal most the time.Sure, sometimes it upsets me and makes me feel bad but I understand those are MY insecurities and I shouldn't let those get in the way of my boyfriend enjoying porn.I have encouraged him over the years to be more open and relaxed about it. Over time though, he has gotten very relaxed and Im wondering if this is normal or excessive.He goes out of his way to get 20+ new porns, full length and all, a week. EVERY week. Even 5 or so would be ok but its really starting to get to me with the amount. Even after 5 years we make love many times a week and I give him blow jobs nearly every day (I just like to do that). Why does he need so much porn? Isnt a few a week like I do, enough?Is this normal, do all guys, if possible do this? If I bring this up with him he will think I hate all porn, there is no middle ground. How do I approach this and find a compromise?
View related questions:
blow-job, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): 20 full length porn movies a week? No way that is normal.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 July 2011):
 A part of the clinical definition of addicted is 10+ hours per week. Anything over 10 hours a week is by psychology standards way too much. Usually regular/heavy porn users don't use it for sexual satisfaction, it's more of a habit (especially if he's using it that much) so don't take it as a reflection on you or your sex life at all.
I agree with BettyBoup, accusing him of addiction is just going to make him feel defensive. Maybe you could subtly mention that you read in a magazine that up to 15% of users develop an compulsion that interferes with their life (so he doesn't feel like he's alone) and that spending more than 10 hours a week is the beginning of that definition and then change the subject. Just to plant a little thought in his head in a non-accusatory way.
...............................
A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Hmm to each their own, but 20 full length pornos a week, and he has a blow job every day, and you have sex very frequently. Does this guy have any other hobbies or interests? I mean, 20 pornos? Thats like at least 20 hours spent watching sex scenes, and more time actually having sex and blow jobs. Thats a lot of time spend on sex!
Sex is healthy, and it is very positive you have such an active sex life. It is also great that you can both be open about your porn use. But watching that much porn does seem excessive. I know it is a guilty pleasure for a lot of guys. But from what I know, most guys watch one for a few mins every so often, maybe once a day, once a week, something like that, and jack off, and thats it. I've not heard of guys actually sitting down and spending hours watching full pornos to the extent that your boyfriend does. Not unless they are teenage or porn addicts. Most people have better things to do! I mean, porn has its place, and sex is important for health and relationships, but when hours upon hours are spend engaging in porn and sex, I think it becomes a problem.
I don't know how best to broach the subject. Maybe this new obcession with porn was spurred on by your acceptance and openess for it. So maybe if you give it some time the excitement will ware off. But if it doesn't, express that you are worried that he spends so much time watching pornos and not as much time doing other things he used to enjoy, like computer games, socialising, sports etc. Dpn't accuse him of being addicted, instead just mention that you hear that porn is very addictive and you don't want him to go down that route. You don't want him to become desinsitized to sex and turn into a guy who spends his whole life in front of a tv/computer screen with boxes of kleenex next to him and no girlfriend or social life. Say it as a joke, he might get the hint.
...............................
|
