A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear all,Please can you tell me if I am over analyzing or reading into this. I have been with my BF for around coming up to six months now. I told him over the weekend, I have an important hospital appointment on tuesday. I saw him on the sunday evening before - we had a lovely evening. Tuesday morning came. I thought he woud have texted to say good luck or whatever. I went to the appointment. Lucky enough I got the all clear. Still no call from him. I called him at 11.30pm. He said oh how are you? I said ' I went to the hospital appointment today, he said ' I thought about you this morning, but got really caught up and could not call you ( I think he forgot it was on the tuesday) then he said ' I'm really sorry baby, sorry. Please don;t take it to heart. I was like ok. Anyway,I felt really hurt that he forgot or ignored. Does this guy care about me at all? Am I being ultra sensitive? please help. I'm hurting.
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 He probably didnt have a clue it was that important to you.
He did apologize when he realized there was some significace to you. With that response, you need to cut him some slack and be comfortable with speaking up more about your future expectations.
You have only been together 6 mos, so he is still learning your nuances and priority messages. It is doubtful he was ignoring your or de-prioritizing you in anyway.
I am assuming that your exam was causing you some anxiety and his concern makes you feel cared for and calm. Find other habits, people, friends, family or hobbies to calm your nerves when your bf is not available.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Yeah I hear you... My BF and I have talked about how we never would have made it had I not had something to distract me from him in the beginning (i.e. trying to save my marriage) but being a couple of hours apart by car and having minimal contact in the first few months seemed to help us.
I have learned so many things from this relationship... that a man does not have to be up in my face saying "i love you" every day to really love me... that actions speak louder than words but that SOME people do NOT need daily contact.
by the time we were at daily contact he had fallen deeply for me and he was willing to compromise his need for space to meet my need for daily contact...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks - So confused. You are right. Alot of it also has to do with my own inscurites I guess. I read into things, and think he doens;t love me sometimes, so it only takes nle trigger like this for me to lose it. I really am having to learn to calm down in this relationship. it;'s hard, as usually I would have gone nuts and shouted at him, as I have done loads of times, but now I;ve stopped all that. I wil have to wokr out if I can keep calm or find someone who wants more from it.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 August 2011):
WHY you feel like you do does not matter... it's how you are. You can FEEL any way you like but is it a valid way to feel? who knows.... it is what it is.
IF you need a man who is more attentive to you than your BF is, then you may want to rethink this relationship... or you may want to re-evaluate what your needs are and if you can compromise
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, I ues syou are right, but there is part of me that thinks. Now , hang on, what if he didnt; forget? and DID as he siad ' think about it this morning and still not pick up the phone? I dono;t know if he forgot do I? plsu he had all day and all evenig to cal me if he had thought about it? I know he said sorry - but why do I feel like this? x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 August 2011):
I forget stuff all the time... appointments, things I'm told, to mail an important letter... all done recently... it's the way I am.. it's my ADHD brain (not) at work.
I think you are being a bit overly sensitive about this. It means he forgot it does not mean he does not care.
I'd continue as it is and see if he is putting in an effort to make the relationship work.. if he is not then rethink it but be careful how you define effort. I like to talk to my BF as often as possible but when he's at work HE'S AT WORK and I am the farthest thing from his mind... I just recently had a very very serious emergency illness on our vacation.. I could have died. He knows this. BUT we were at a convention where he had responsibilities. He stayed in touch with the doctor and came to see me at the hospital as often as he could but we was not with me 24/7 or even every day... does not mean he does not care or love me... just means that OTHER Things got in the way...
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, thanks - but it was serious. I think he DID just forget, but how can someone who seems to be in love with me forget my hospital appointment? I sent him a text this morning about something completley unrelated and he has not even responded yet, and last night I texted him and called him again and he did not pick up. ( this was after the conversation). I think he thought I was going to shout, but I didn;t. I am not upset - just hurt, Hurt that he actually said he had thought about it in the morning, and got to caught up to call me, ( he told me this at 11.30pm). and hurt that I am the one who had to call HIM. I know he forgot. Am I expecting too much? and being silly?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): At this moment it seems he`s not arsed,but give it another chance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): Hi. In my experience, whether it is 'acceptable' or not, men are just crap at this type of thing and remembering stuff. Dont take it to heart, and as he has said sorry, he has acknowledged he has done wrong and you are angry with him so let it go now.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Insensitive, yes. Intentionally hurtful, no. I think since he sincerely apologized you shouldn't read into it too much. It's understandable feeling hurt, but I don't think he purposefully ignored you. Unless the appointment was for something life-threatening, he probably just forget. He may have been really stressed or something, which genuinely does affect your ability to remember things. I mean 2 days is a pretty long time between when you told him and when you went, unless you were really nervous about it, it probably just fell through his sieve of a brain.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Battisita He knew it was a breats lump which could have meant cancer. I guess i had beter let it go, as he siad sorry?
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (17 August 2011):
Maybe he was being insensitive but I wouldn't read too much into it. You've only been together for 6 months and I imagine it genuinely slipped his mind. You say how you got the all clear, which I am guessing means you were waiting for some results or something which might not have had such a good outcome. Your bf most likely doesn't know that, or did you explain the appt? Unless you explained it to him you could have been going for anything, from a routine kidney stone follow-up to getting your Warfarin checked. He isn't to know. I know you said it was important but your bf might not have twigged.
If he's apologised then I wouldn't hold it against him too much. I think for you to ask if he cares about you at all on the basis of this incident is over-reacting, but that is just my opinion.
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