A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there,So my bf and I have been together for about 9 months, and our relationship is great, sex is great, and we're pretty much best friends. I was just curious about his watching porn, so we talked about it. I'm not opposed to porn necessarily, though I'm not exactly turned on by the thought of my man masturbating while looking at another woman. He said that since we started having sex he doesn't really need it anymore, which is totally cool. The only weird thing is that now, despite our active and creative sex life, he outright refuses to delete or dispose of his porn collection. Is is strange that he won't get rid of it even though he supposedly doesn't want to look at it anymore?Thanks!
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male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Why do you want him to delete his collection? It seems you don't trust him or don't believe in him, and if that's the case then you're going down the wrong road, I believe. You should instead concentrate on yourself and why you feel this way and try to change it - with his help, instead of changing him to make yourself feel better.
I hope you will make the right decisions - but I frankly (and unfortunately) have big doubts.
A
male
reader, Uncle Charlie +, writes (6 October 2011):
In not willing to get rid of the porn he has a made a decision regarding his relationship with you. It could be he values his porn collection more than you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 October 2011):
Pretty clear that he's still watching it to be honest.
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (5 October 2011):
Even tho this bothers you it souldnt. Watching porn or masterbating is normal. My advice is to believe what he is saying since he is your boyfriend and trust breaks or makes a relationship. And i hope you trust your boyfriend.... Plus I dont see the point to bring this drama into your relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2011): If he "outright refuses" to get rid of his pornos, then you obviously asked him to, which means you ARE opposed to it.
Someone's porn can have sentimental value to them. Just like some don't want to get rid of their childhood toys even though they don't play with them anymore. To some, it really is a "collection" more than a stash, and he's probably "curated" his collection for a lot longer than you've been together. So it can be hard to get rid of. But that doesn't mean he is relying on it for his sexual needs anymore.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (5 October 2011):
 It does unfortunately sound like he's lying about watching it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 October 2011):
 I don't think it's strange that he has it or keeps it. but then I don't mind my man watching it. I wish he would spend money to buy some as opposed to downloading it or getting it ON DEMAND (very expensive that way)
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (5 October 2011):
 Honestly. He won't get rid of it, because he wants to keep looking at it.
It's pretty simple. Chances are he was just saying that to make you feel better.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 October 2011):
 No.... it's not really "strange" at all.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2011): I have a feeling..I'm sorry to tell you but I kinda feel that he's still watching it..try to ask if you could lock it in a box or drawer, so he'll have it, but he can't be tempted.
Personally I have a problem with it, so pardon me if I seemed rude in anyway.
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